The Curious Engineer

Lowering the Bar

2005–2009

1,345 posts

2010–2013 →

2009 306

December 2009

  1. Final Post of 2009
  2. Mug Shots of the Year
  3. Woman Claims She Was Struck by Falling Moose Head
  4. Cat’s Relentless String Harassment Prompts Emergency Call
  5. Re: The Underpants Bomber
  6. Stalin’s Grandson Files Another Libel Case
  7. No Christmas Pudding Without a Waiver, Restaurant Says
  8. Vatican Declares Papal Copyright
  9. 911 Caller Declares Parenting Emergency
  10. One Possible Class-Action Defense Strategy: Disappear and Live in a Tent
  11. Attorney Sued For Nose Biting; Claims Self-Defense
  12. First “Brüno” Lawsuit Filed
  13. The Answers to Your Questions About Wisconsin’s State Symbols
  14. Bill Would Designate Bacterium as Wisconsin’s Official State Microbe
  15. Feds Say Use of Bogus “Promissory Notes” On the Rise
  16. If Darth Vader Were a Senior Partner
  17. And Still More Comical Case Names
  18. Yet More Comical Case Names
  19. Car Sounded Like It Was Speeding, Officer Testifies
  20. Fugitive Located Inside Homeland Security Department Office
  21. More Failures to Keep a Low Profile When Falsely Claiming Disability
  22. TSA Fails to Secure Its Own PDFs
  23. ANOTHER REASON NOT TO USE ALL CAPS, NOT THAT YOU NEED MORE THAN ONE REASON
  24. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like . . . This
  25. Christ Excused From Jury Duty
  26. ALERT: Unauthorized Bow-Wow-Wow-Yippie-Yo-Yippie-Yea-ing May Result in Liability
  27. Lawyer Misses Flight; Now Working at Airport Information Desk
  28. Police Dog: The Meat-Smuggler’s Nemesis
  29. Employee Goes Extra Mile for Boss With Bomb Threat
  30. Note: Closing-Argument Demonstratives Should Not Include Hand Grenade

November 2009

  1. Plaintiff Who Alleged Airport Concealment Has Litigation History
  2. Marriage Illegal in Texas, Says Candidate
  3. Facebook Pics Prove You Aren’t Disabled, Insurer Tells Depressed Woman
  4. Business Manager Says He Told Nicolas Cage Not to Buy Those Castles
  5. Fake Policeman Stolen
  6. Man Tests Police by Dressing to Match Suspect’s Description
  7. Joe Francis Sentenced to Time Served, Is Now Free to Sleaze Again
  8. UPDATE: Amended Complaint in Dolphin Case Also Points Finger at Algae
  9. Plaintiff Alleges That Defendants Concealed Location of His House
  10. Bear-Disturbance Acquittal Follow-Up
  11. TSA Targets Snow-Globe Terrorism Threat
  12. San Francisco Jury Struggles With Whether Bear Was “Disturbed”
  13. Washington Honking Case Taken Up by State Supreme Court
  14. Balloon Parents to Plead Guilty
  15. Jury Finds Florida Man Was Not “Too Fat to Kill”
  16. Chicago Courts Rejecting Evidence Gathered by Laser
  17. Indicted Financier and Bank Regulator Were “Blood Brothers,” Plea Agreement Says
  18. Korean Woman Passes Driver’s Test on 950th Try
  19. Alleged Car-Stealer Charged With Stealing Car to Get to Hearing on Car-Stealing Charges
  20. Latest Bad Disguise(s): Drawing on Your Face With a Sharpie
  21. Colonel Sanders Appears at UN to Seek Membership for Grilled Nation
  22. Blagojevich Can Appear on “Celebrity Apprentice,” Says Judge
  23. So Long, Guy Who Refused to Marry Interracial Couple
  24. “Air Zaidi” Shoe Is Top Seller in Bangladesh
  25. Halloween Breathalyzer Costume Results in What I Believe to Be Irony
  26. Judge Denies Wrongdoing; Says He Was Only There for the Soup

October 2009

  1. Never Bring a Chainsaw to a Gunfight
  2. Court Criticizes Everybody Involved in Briefing That Totaled 5,415 Pages
  3. Experts Agree: Chances of Governor’s Message Being Random Are Tiny
  4. Gang Member to Get Makeover for Trial, Says Attorney
  5. State Assistant AG Fired After Inappropriate Cemetery Visit
  6. French Court Finds Church of Scientology Guilty of Fraud
  7. Pilots Who Forgot to Land No Longer Allowed to Fly
  8. Judge Reprimanded for Jailing Guy Who Gave Him the Raspberry
  9. Another Consumer Says He Was Duped by Froot Loops
  10. Lowering the Bar at Microsoft
  11. FAA Investigating Balloon-Boy Case; Balloon Dad Prepares for Apocalypse
  12. Fish Killer Gets Probation
  13. Juror Who Caused Mistrial With Online Research Must Pay Jury Fees
  14. First-Grader Beats Rap for Knife Charge
  15. “Grand Theft Auto” Insanity Defense Fails Again
  16. Woman Learns to Swear in Order to Make Partner
  17. Can Church-and-State Issues Be Funny? Hell, Yes
  18. Stalin Libel Claim Dismissed
  19. “I’ve Come Here to Defend Stalin,” Says Lunatic
  20. Justice Stevens: Never Been Recognized, Except Once at the Video Store
  21. Hint: The Little Bowl at the Security Checkpoint Is for Metal Objects, Not Drugs
  22. 45-Day Sentence for 6-Year-Old Caught With Camping Utensil
  23. Armed Robber Sues After Being Shot by Armed Victim
  24. President Wins 2009 Nobel Prize for Not Being George W. Bush
  25. No Getting Around It: Terrorism Will Not Look Good on a Resume
  26. Cell-Phone Conversation Blamed for Accident at Sea
  27. UPDATE: Opinion in “Pilates Instructor” Case
  28. Blind Lawyer Says “Pilates Instructor” Cheated Him
  29. Justice Scalia Calls for Dumbing-Down of the Legal Profession
  30. Kids Not Supposed to Ride on Roof of Car, Apparently
  31. Note: Being Found Sleeping on Large Bag of Pot May Be Seen as Incriminating
  32. Fall Is Here . . . A Great Time to Schedule Surveillance
  33. Escapee Asked Guard for Directions, Report Says
  34. Criminal Defendant Escapes After Being Mistaken for Lawyer
  35. Bank Demands Thumbprint Before Cashing Check; Says Lack of Arms No Excuse

September 2009

  1. British Government Considers Mandating Plastic Pint Glasses
  2. New Supreme Court Portrait Reveals Lack of Consensus
  3. Mock School Robbery Leads to Actual School Lockdown
  4. Beer-Drinking Woman’s Caning Can Proceed, Says Malaysian Court
  5. Wellford Police Allowed to Chase Criminals Again
  6. Attorney Loses Round One in Battle for First Amendment Right to Wear Hats
  7. Police in South Carolina Town Not Allowed to Chase Suspects
  8. Bank of America Sued for 1,784 Sextillion Dollars
  9. It’s a Series of Tubes!
  10. Motion Dismissed for “Negligent Stapling”
  11. Joe Francis Pleads Guilty, Avoids Jail in Tax Case
  12. Dancing With the Indicted
  13. Emu Tased
  14. UPDATE: State High Court Will Not Review Burning Man Case
  15. A Sentence Rarely Found in Legal Pleadings
  16. Great Wall Warnings
  17. “Some Rumors Should Rest Untested”
  18. Attorney Crashes Party at Courthouse Groundbreaking
  19. Big Firm Rocked by Tab-Divider Scam
  20. Sex Fees Not Deductible Medical Expenses, Tax Court Rules
  21. Plaintiffs’ Firm Sued by Potential Client After Chair Collapse
  22. Police Investigating Burglary Fail to Notice Burglar Returning to Steal TV
  23. Longest Known Judicial Oath
  24. Monkey Mask Fails to Defeat Traffic Camera
  25. UPDATE: “Open Mike” Duvall Resigns
  26. Open Mike Likely to Close Out Legislator’s Career
  27. Recent Headlines
  28. Malaysian Woman Sentenced to Caning for Drinking Beer
  29. Sudan Fines Woman Who Dared To Wear Pants
  30. Slight Problems Found With “Nurse of the Year” Award
  31. Don’t Miss The [Alberto] Gonzales Cantata
  32. Iraqi Shoe-Thrower to Get Early Release
  33. Funkytown’s Crazy Co-Mayors
  34. An Unusual Penalty

August 2009

  1. Tour Companies Battle Over Trademarked Duck Noises
  2. Wrongening the Math
  3. Good Reason to Kill #6: Messed With Your Dungeons & Dragons Character
  4. Possible Joe Francis Defense Arguments: Knows Celebrities, Is Just Like Hefner
  5. Do You Really Want Your GPS Directions Read By Bob Dylan?
  6. Defendant Gone Wild
  7. “I’m With The CIA” Defense Fails Again
  8. Michael Jackson’s Death Led to Arson, Says Arsonist
  9. Taster’s Choice Follow-Up: Is “Youthened” A Word?
  10. California Supreme Court Rules In Taster’s Case
  11. Dolphins Blamed For Woman’s Slip And Fall
  12. Man Who Posed As Lawyer “Seemed To Know What He Was Talking About,” Say Colleagues
  13. Next On “Dancing With The Stars”: Tom DeLay
  14. Church Sued For “Enabling” Addicts By Feeding Them
  15. Russian Court Says Band Needs License to Play Its Own Songs
  16. Murder Convicted Of Murder
  17. Fall of the Republic, #137
  18. Oprah Stole My Poetry, Man Claims In $1 Trillion Lawsuit
  19. Woman Claims Display Was So Distracting, She Fell Over It
  20. Driver Who Was Texting And Talking While Driving Ends Up Swimming
  21. Cat Blamed For Pornography
  22. Cyclists Get More Room To Ride, Increased Taunt Protection
  23. Jefferson Convicted of Bribery, Storing Cash in Freezer
  24. Court: Illegal-Entry Charge Corroborated By Fence-Climbing, Bush-Hiding
  25. Robber in Gorilla Suit Foiled by Worker With Meat Cleaver
  26. Bank Teller Fired For Catching Robber
  27. Mexican Navy Invades Cancun to Prevent Beach-Stealing

July 2009

  1. LucasFilm Employee Alleges She Was Called An “Ewok”
  2. Judge Who Lost Pants Loses Another Suit
  3. Punch Another Monopoly Player, Go Directly to Jail
  4. Swine-Flu Defense Fails In DUI Case
  5. Another Animal-Attack Lawsuit Fails: Humans Now 0-5
  6. Judge Dismisses “Super American Grand Jury” Indictment Against Obama
  7. Law Review Article Titles: Stop the Madness
  8. Appropriate-Shoe-Motion Case Ends in Mistrial After Jurors Read About Motion
  9. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #7: Die
  10. Man Has Perfectly Believable Story About Why He Was Naked In a Cemetery
  11. Nevada Supreme Court to Pretend to Consider Bail for O.J.
  12. Lawyer Jailed for Contempt Is Freed After 14 Years
  13. Honesty Maybe Not The Best Policy If It Involves You And A 14-Year-Old
  14. Senator Agrees To Do That Crack Cocaine Thing
  15. Saudi Arabian Family Sues Genie for Harassment
  16. Man Fined After Altercation With Punching-Bag Machine
  17. Financial Crisis Comes Full Circle As Bank Sues Itself
  18. Judge Finally Gets Around to Ruling on 26-Year-Old Case
  19. Appropriate-Shoe Motion Added To Lowering the Bar’s Pleading Archive
  20. Motion to Compel Defense Counsel To Wear Appropriate Shoes
  21. The Verdict is In: Juror Wanted to Go to Jackson Memorial
  22. Yankees Fans Now Free to Move About During “God Bless America”
  23. Gambler Appeals; Wants More of His Money Back From Casino
  24. Terrorist Watch List No Obstacle to Bomb-Buyers, Says GAO
  25. Man Burned at Burning Man Assumed Risk of Being Burned by Burning Man, Says Court

June 2009

  1. DOJ Moves to Dismiss Geronimo Skull Suit
  2. Meat Thieves Captured
  3. Weapons Conviction Thrown Out Due to Counsel’s Napping, Magazine Reading
  4. Tip: Reckless Nude Driving Apparently OK in Georgia
  5. Beauties Behaving Badly
  6. City Attorney Apologizes for Trash Can Incident
  7. City Workers Ordered to Wear Underwear
  8. City Council Members Settle Legal Dispute Over Right to Parking Space
  9. British Manufacturers Offer Pointless Anti-Stab Knives
  10. Foundation Announces 12th Annual Dumb-Warning List
  11. Crunch Berries: Reconsideration Denied
  12. UPDATE and Comment on the Crunch Berry Litigation
  13. Internet Blamed for Latest Face-Stealing Incident
  14. No Right to Honk, Judge Tells Chicken Lady
  15. Jay Wexler’s “Holy Hullabaloos” Book Published
  16. Firm’s Valiant Layoff-Spin Attempt Fails
  17. UPDATE: Taster’s Choice Case Goes to California Supreme Court
  18. Reasonable Consumer Would Know “Crunchberries” Are Not Real, Judge Rules
  19. Gambler Threatens to Sue the Venetian for Bad Feng Shui

May 2009

  1. CORRECTION: Alabama Governor Signs Beer Law; Disaster Looms
  2. “Disaster” Looms If Stronger Beer Allowed, Says Alabama Senator
  3. Handcuffing Leads to Divorce
  4. “Just Couldn’t Take” The Boredom, Says Juror Who Went Home
  5. Pringles Qualify as “Potato Chips,” Court Rules
  6. When To Give Up Crime
  7. More E-Mail Advice: Don’t Reply to All, Know When to Quit, Use Capital Letters
  8. Missourians Elect Another Dead Man to Office
  9. Compulsive Gambler Says Casino Enticed Him With “Lucky Money”
  10. More E-Mail Tyranny: No “Out-of-Office” Replies, Says Partner
  11. No Text Messages While Testifying, Judge Rules
  12. Trail of Chewing-Tobacco Spit Leads to Thieves
  13. Ventura Discusses Waterboarding, Cheney, and Waterboarding Cheney
  14. No Trademark for Chippendales’ “Cuffs & Collar,” Board Rules
  15. Woman Sues Wal-Mart for Nutria Attack
  16. Law Firm Party-School Rankings Released
  17. Mule Drivers Must Have Biometric ID, Says TSA
  18. Man Sues for Right to Wear Skirt
  19. Holy Spirit Lawsuits, Round Two
  20. Texting in Court Equals Jail for Utah Woman
  21. Dog-Scrotum Observation Preferable to Jury Service, Declares Citizen

April 2009

  1. I Pity the Fool Who Does Not Strike Mr. T From The Jury
  2. New Swiss Law Aims to Halt Invasion of Naked Germans
  3. People, Please Stop Hiding Things in Justice Breyer’s Pants
  4. Don Henley Sues Candidate to Stop Song Parodies
  5. Dog-Walking Controversy May Cost Couple Their Home
  6. Law Firms: Last Vestige of the Medieval Guild System?
  7. Muslim Clerics Issue Cell-Phone Fatwa
  8. Will Perry Mason Defend Himself?
  9. “Octomom” Seeks Trademark
  10. Kansas City Docket: Chips Ahoy
  11. Justice Thomas Still Fascinated by Dishwashers
  12. Rambo Cupid Fires Arrows Around Minnesota Neighborhood
  13. What Not To Call 911 About, #3: Missing Shrimp
  14. Note: Personal Sovereignty Claims Not Getting Any More Valid
  15. Another Lawsuit Fails to Unseat Obama
  16. Fly With Your Pants Down, Lose Your License, Judge Rules
  17. UPDATE: Former SF Official Gets Maximum Despite Brain Claims
  18. Attorney for SF Official Says Extortion Scheme Caused by Childhood Head Injuries

March 2009

  1. DUI Charge for Driver of Motorized Bar Stool
  2. Man Who Attempted Suicide Sues Hospital That Saved Him
  3. Disgraced Attorney’s Assets Included 100-Foot Yacht, Stupid-Looking Sculpture
  4. Ninety Days Is Sentence For “Suspicious Activity” With Vacuum
  5. Tennessee Considers Low-Pants Bill
  6. Case Law Hall of Fame Addition: Denny v. Radar Industries
  7. Contract Written in Blood Still Not Binding, Says Court
  8. Ohio Court Says It Can’t Afford Any More Paper
  9. Kentucky Dueling Update: Lawyers Also Must Take the No-Dueling Oath
  10. Motion for New Trial Based on Juror’s Twittering
  11. Canadian Asks for Politeness, Gets Pepper Spray
  12. Monks Brawl Over Jurisdiction at Tomb of Christ
  13. Madoff Pleads Guilty, Goes Directly to Jail
  14. Epic Trademark Battle Erupts Between Makers of Competing Fart-Sound Software
  15. Another Suit Alleges Negligent Laying-On-Of-Hands
  16. “We Will Get You,” Store Promises Vinegar Thief
  17. En Banc Rehearing Denied in Pants Case; Is Supreme Court Next?
  18. West Virginia Debating Barbie Ban
  19. California Supreme Court Appears on Jumbotron
  20. McNugget Shortage Triggers 911 Call
  21. Crime Dog, Cow Assaulted
  22. Fake Air Marshal Busted by Real Ones
  23. Judge Rules Poker Is Game of Skill, Not Chance

February 2009

  1. Anti-Beer-Pong Law Defeated by Furious Citizens
  2. Golfer Sues Course After Hitting Himself With Ball
  3. Miley Cyrus Sued for Four Billion Dollars Over Picture
  4. Santa Suit
  5. Quest for Driver’s License Stretches Into Fourth Year
  6. Kentucky Prohibits First Responders From Dueling
  7. Nebraska Man Still Pursuing Lawsuit Against God
  8. Thief Wedgied
  9. Geronimo’s Descendants Sue to Get His Skull Back
  10. Official Suspected of Corruption Just Because He Owned Estate, Jet, Helicopter, Tiger, Blah, Blah, Blah
  11. Least Exciting Exciting Event Ever
  12. Firm Offers “60 Minute Divorce,” Free Lunch Included
  13. Grad Student Says He Will Sue Over Lost Collection of Lizard Dung
  14. Man Has Cuffs Removed, Briefly, at Police Station
  15. Author of “Why We Get Duped” Admits He Got Duped
  16. Australian Arrested for Pigeon, Eggplant Smuggling
  17. “Lobster Gone Bad” Turns Out To Be Hoax
  18. Florida Driver Cited For Speeding, 49 Or So Other Violations
  19. Class-Action Attorney Paid Just Like Class Members — In Gift Cards
  20. The Mysterious Piano, Captive-Audience Doctrine, and Other Assorted Items
  21. Pro-Life Group Criticizes Doughnut Maker
  22. Thieves Grab Costumes for Late-Night Performance

January 2009

  1. Court Rejects Unabomber’s Request to Get Unabombing Stuff Back
  2. Man Cited for “Riding White Horse in a Snowstorm”
  3. Blagojevich Out
  4. Ladies and Gentlemen, Rod Blagojevich Has Left the Building
  5. Blagojevich Now Giving “Closing Argument”
  6. Chicago Police Discover (Eventually) That 14-Year-Old Isn’t Real Officer
  7. God Made That Deposit, Says Couple Who Spent It
  8. One More View on the Oath of Office
  9. Sarcasm Not Helpful to Arrestee
  10. I Do Solemnly Swear That I Have Heard Enough About the Oath
  11. Tax Returns Are Hard, Says Federal Reserve Bank President
  12. Inauguration Day Edition
  13. Aquarium Stocked With Stolen Sea Creatures
  14. Cranky Ball-Snatcher Sues for Emotional Distress
  15. Serial Toilet Arsonist Continues to Terrorize San Francisco
  16. Restraining Order Entered After Christmas Wii Assault
  17. Doping Scandal Strikes Sport of Kings, Dorks
  18. Robbers “Overly Prepared,” Says Guard Who Chased and Sat on Them
  19. Officials Say Pumpkin-Wearers Not In Compliance With Helmet Law
  20. Bay Area Docket (Jan. 6, 2009)
  21. Bear Forced to Wear Wire in Custody Battle
  22. It’s Officially an “Ugly Divorce” If Somebody Wants a Kidney Back
  23. Pearson Returns; Seeks En Banc Hearing in Pants Case
  24. Bail Granted On Condition Defendant Wear Underwear
  25. 2008 Lowering the Bar Awards
  26. Legislation That Comes Back to Bite You

2008 299

December 2008

  1. I’m Sorry, Doctor, But What Did You Say Your Name Was?
  2. Car-Wash Robber Has a Very Bad Day
  3. Blagojevich Mocked in Furniture Ad
  4. Your Drinks Made Me Beat My Wife, Says Plaintiff
  5. No End in Sight to Feud Among Rival Santa Groups
  6. Amish Object to Putting “Mark of the Beast” On Cattle
  7. Court Approves Serving Lawsuit Via Facebook
  8. Legislation Breaks Out During Brawl in South Korean Assembly
  9. Court: Pearson’s Claim “Not Supported by Law or Reason”
  10. D.C. Court of Appeals Rejects Appeal in $54 Million Pants Case
  11. Iraqi Shoe-Thrower Evolving Into Mythic Hero Symbol
  12. Burglar Says He Was Trapped In Home By “Supernatural Figure”
  13. Breath Tests Demanded for Australian Legislators
  14. Bush Survives Shoe Barrage During Baghdad Press Conference
  15. UPDATE: Urlacher’s Toenail Accuser Has Lied Before
  16. Thief Unwisely Tries to Steal Law Student’s Laptop
  17. Batman Reportedly Planning to File Bat-Complaint
  18. Single-Equity-Partner Structure Poses Risk, Says Magazine
  19. “Chinese Democracy” Criticized by Chinese Government
  20. Cardboard Criminals, or, Paper Perpetrators
  21. The Tale of Blackie the Talking Cat: Miles v. City Council (1982)
  22. O.J.’s Sentencing Speech Causes Spectators to Weep, Judge to Reverse Conviction
  23. Lap Dancing “Not Stimulating,” Says Chairman of Lap Dancing Association
  24. Jesus Told Me to Ram that Car, Says Driver
  25. Harvard Professor Opines on Scalia’s “Gollywaddles”
  26. Sarkozy Wins One Euro in Voodoo-Doll Case; Doll To Remain on Sale
  27. China Executes Fraudulent Ant-Breeder

November 2008

  1. Taco Bell Lawyers Disrespectin’ 50 Cent
  2. Bears Linebacker Accused of Painting Son’s Toenails Blue
  3. “White Line Fevers From Mars”: Norman v. Reagan (1982)
  4. Note to Self: No Grocery-Store Carjackings This Holiday Season
  5. 2008 California Bar Exam Results
  6. “Borat” Lawsuits Unsuccessful
  7. Monty Python Fights Piracy With New YouTube Clips
  8. DHS Says Scanners Successfully Detect “Mal-Intent”
  9. Road Rage Getting Medieval
  10. Swedish Parliament Intervenes in Birthday-Party Dispute
  11. UPDATE: Settlement Reached in N.C. Dirty-Dancing Case
  12. Firm Fires Managing Partner Via Note on Chair
  13. Swiss Government Demands Respect for Plant Dignity
  14. Convictions Reversed Due to Judicial Sleeping
  15. A Quote That Might Possibly Describe A Law-Firm Associate But Is Actually About John Stuart Mill
  16. “Confusion Flakes” Cited As Grounds for Reversal
  17. Councilman Says He’s Done Drinking, Urinating on Crowds From Balconies
  18. Survivor of Attempted Vehicular Homicide Sued for Car Damage
  19. What Would You Name a Magazine for Women Litigators?
  20. Lawyer Says Client’s Tax Problems Caused by LFS: “Late-Filing Syndrome”
  21. Supreme Court Debates ‘F-Bomb’
  22. Election Update II: Biting the Dream
  23. Election Update
  24. Attorney Says Client Killed In Self-Defense; Dismemberment Harder to Explain

October 2008

  1. UPDATE: Supreme Court Denies Motions for Divided Argument
  2. Supreme Court May Decide Supreme Court Argument Argument
  3. Florida Low-Pants Crackdown Implicates Few
  4. Attorneys Bicker Over Supreme Court Argument, Coin-Toss Rules
  5. TSA Fails to Detect Box Cutters, Inflatable Yasir Arafat Dolls
  6. Woman Arrested for Cybermurder
  7. D.C. Court Hears Argument in Appeal of Pants Case
  8. ACLU Successfully Defends Woman’s Right to Swear
  9. French President Threatens to Sue Voodoo-Doll Maker
  10. Yet Another Comical Case Name
  11. Clarification: Monkey v. Ape
  12. Father Has Son Prosecuted for Laziness
  13. Faked Evidence Fails to Conceal Ape’s Whereabouts
  14. Fashion Heir Fights Like “Man Possessed” on Air France Flight
  15. . . . And Equal Time to the Other Guy
  16. Why We Wait For All Cameras to Leave the Room
  17. Well, It Sounded Like “Rodent” to Me
  18. Case Against God Dismissed; Plaintiff Considering Appeal
  19. Florida Couple Secedes
  20. “Mail Goggles” Designed to Prevent Regrettable Emails
  21. “Lowering the Bar” in Vegas
  22. Cast of Thousands Fails to Generate “Plain English” Order
  23. Court Dismisses Claim Alleging That Plaintiff Had Less Fun As Brunette
  24. Italian Lawyer Changed Places With Twin; Both Charged With Fraud
  25. Touched by an Angel
  26. O.J. Simpson Convicted of Murder
  27. Mascot Badgerer Pleads Guilty
  28. I Am Sorry
  29. Superbad Popcorn Lawsuit Dismissed

September 2008

  1. Woman In Cow Suit Charged With Disorderly Conduct
  2. What Could Possibly Explain the Market Crisis?
  3. “Seinfeld” Episode Used to Illustrate Duty of Good Faith
  4. Another Option for Keeping Control of Your Courtroom: Duct Tape
  5. Millionaire Claims Ghosts Caused Him to Flee His Mortgage, I Mean Mansion
  6. Case Law Hall of Fame: “As a Matter of Law, the House is Haunted”
  7. Man With 86 Wives Will Have 86 Lawyers
  8. Attorney Who Bartered With Stripper Client is Suspended
  9. Florida Cops Taser Naked Dog-Walker; Claim It Was “The Only Way”
  10. Draft Law Precludes Any Review of Government Bailout Decisions
  11. Inmate Sues For Injuries Sustained During Escape Attempt
  12. McCain Ruled (Probably) Natural-Born U.S. Citizen
  13. Good Reason to Kill #5: Insisted on Riding “Shotgun”
  14. Americans Still Struggling With Pants
  15. First Arrest for Baggy-Pants-Ordinance Violation
  16. Goats Freed From Congo Jail
  17. “Heated,” “Tense” Proceedings in Battle Over Cost of Hilary Duff’s Birthday Party
  18. Start Your Legal Plate Collection Today
  19. Officer: Sex With Hookers Was Part of My Job, Unenjoyable

August 2008

  1. Witch Pardoned
  2. Beijing “Protest Parks” Go Remarkably Unused
  3. Tax Tip: Income Earned In Antarctica May Not Be Deductible
  4. UPDATE: Cloned-Dog Owner Wanted in Tennessee
  5. Court Affirms Verdict Against Lawyer for Affair With Client’s Wife
  6. TRO Denied; Obama Can Still Run — For Now
  7. Amateur Ninjas Say They Were Sending “Message to Drug Dealers”
  8. Exxon Punitives Case May Be Litigated Until Earth Consumed by Dying Sun
  9. Immigration Agency Announces End of Innovative Self-Deportation Program
  10. Pennsylvania Man Convicted of Aggravated Gnome-Hurling
  11. Knights Templar v. Pope Benedict XVI, et al.
  12. Ice-Cream Killer Pleads Guilty in Exchange for Picnic
  13. Batman Ties Up Traffic In Fathers’ Rights Protest
  14. McCain Sued by Jackson Browne Over Use of “Running on Empty”
  15. Lawsuit Alleges Bat Exposure
  16. UPDATE: Judge Halverson Defeated in Primary Election
  17. Paris Hilton Sued For Insufficient Publicity
  18. Court Overturns Law That Mandated 50% Good News
  19. Naked Cowboy Arrested in San Francisco
  20. Man Who Sued God Appears in Earthly Court
  21. Pets Too Sexy For Saudi Arabia, Say Religious Police
  22. UPDATE: More Details Emerge in Cloned-Dog-Mormon-Attack Case
  23. ACLU Says It Will Go To Bat For Mullets If Necessary
  24. Cloned-Dog Owner Denies She Is Actually Mormon Sex Kidnapper
  25. Teen Threatened With Haircut Stabs Father With Miniature Sword
  26. WHEREAS, You Acted Like a Jerk In Court
  27. Stormtrooper-Copyright Battle Will Have Sequel
  28. Tip of the Day: 911 Is Not For Sandwich Complaints
  29. Panic, Heroism Reportedly on Display During California Bar Exam
  30. Lexis/Nexis Used to Screen Out DOJ Candidates on Political Grounds
  31. Latest Low-Pants Ban: Lynwood, Illinois

July 2008

  1. Request for Grey Poupon Has Unexpected Result
  2. “Torture Memo” Author Detained in Oakland
  3. If There Is An Earthquake While You Are Taking the Bar Exam, Do You Get Extra Time?
  4. Lawn Boy Murdered
  5. Minneapolis Firm Offers “Lawyer Job Interview Translator”
  6. 50 Cent Sues Taco Bell Over Value-Menu Promotion
  7. New Zealand Family Court Judge Says No to Stupid Names
  8. SF Voters to Decide Whether to Name Sewage Plant after President
  9. Police Believe Rhode Island Man May Have Set New Blood-Alcohol Record
  10. Taser Caper Results in Prison for Father-Son Team
  11. Partner Strips at Press Conference to Show Detainee Mistreatment
  12. UPDATE: Police Chief Says Low Pants Are Probable Cause for Search
  13. Poorly Faked Heart Attack Fails to Result in Mistrial
  14. Gay Italian Wins Lawsuit for Driving-Test Discrimination
  15. UPDATE: Church Answers Lawsuit of Fallen Man
  16. German Legislation Would Give Infants Right to Vote
  17. Rule 8 Invoked Against 465-Page Complaint
  18. Crocodile Dundee Taunts Tax Authorities
  19. Naked Cowboy v. Mars Lawsuit Allowed to Go Forward
  20. McCain Gets Endorsement From His Former Jailer
  21. Nelson Mandela Removed from U.S. Terror Watch List
  22. Mother Reported to Authorities After Psychic Claims Abuse
  23. Boy George Denied U.S. Visa
  24. Woman Denied Beer at Convenience Store
  25. Posner Affirms Conviction, Laments Ostrich Myth

June 2008

  1. Criminal Armed With Plant Defeated by Customer Armed With Bar Stool
  2. City of Flint, Michigan, Joins Crusade Against Saggy Pants
  3. Woman Sues Victoria’s Secret For Allegedly Defective Underpants
  4. Man Sues Church After Falling Due to Receipt of Holy Spirit
  5. New Adhesive-Toilet-Seat Case Against Home Depot
  6. “Lawyer Who Wouldn’t Stop Talking” Talks His Way to Suspension
  7. Claim for Reimbursement of Dating Costs is Rejected
  8. German Court Rejects Document-Phobia Defense
  9. Practice Tip: Phrase “Oops, My Bad” Rarely Appropriate in Court
  10. Court Rules Lawyers Must Speak Out During Trial if Judge Is Snoozing
  11. Leona Helmsley’s Dog Forced to Survive on Mere $2 Million Trust Fund
  12. Motorized Cooler Driver Faces DWI Charges
  13. Man Walks 25 Miles to Be Sentenced
  14. UPDATE: Both “Thong Bandits” in Custody
  15. Mistrial Declared After Jurors Found Playing Sudoku
  16. Get to the Good Hotel First If Litigating Against Skadden Arps
  17. Use of F-Bomb Before Supreme Court Discussed
  18. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Denounces U.S. Legal System, Courtroom Artist
  19. Parties Ordered to Conduct Deposition at State Line
  20. Chinese Government Lists What Not to Do During Olympics
  21. Lawyer-Musician Kicked Out of R. Kelly Courtroom for Trying to Hawk CD
  22. Store Owner Told to Stop Taking Shoes From Shoplifters

May 2008

  1. British Judges to Get New Attire; Fashion Critics Aghast
  2. Wife Sues For Share of Formerly Secret Lotto Prize
  3. Gallery of Bad Disguises, #4: The Thong Bandits
  4. UPDATE: Conviction in Hedgehog-Assault Case
  5. Fourth Circuit Reinstates Dirty-Dancing Lawsuit (Again)
  6. Pirate Boards Macy’s Flagship; Claims No Booty
  7. Q: Does a Criminal Defendant Forfeit His Right to Counsel by Punching Said Counsel in the Face?
  8. Ape Appeals
  9. Congress Forgets Part of Farm Bill
  10. Arizona Considering Bill That Would Punish “Dissent” in Public Schools
  11. 153rd Time is the Charm for Frequent Arrestee
  12. Your Dog’s Body Damaged My Car, Says Alleged Creep
  13. Firearms Instructor Teaches Students to Unload Guns Used for Firearms Instruction
  14. Lessons in Avoiding Jury Duty
  15. Man Who Attacked Founder of Jedi Church Gets Suspended Sentence
  16. JetBlue Sued by Man Forced to Ride in Lavatory
  17. Judge Finds Alleged Indian Tribe to Be “Complete Sham”
  18. Knife-Purchasers Must Register, Says Chinese Government
  19. Judge Who Lost Pants Wants Job Back
  20. Claim Alleges Trip Ruined by Dung
  21. Bear in Prison
  22. Oregon Says Its Laws Are Copyrighted, Can’t Be Published
  23. Probation May Be Revoked for Sharing
  24. Droopy-Pants Law Fails in Louisiana; Similar Measure Gutted in Florida
  25. Everything’s Bigger in Texas — Including Bad Checks
  26. Hand-Held Lie Detector Deployed: Now We’re Completely Safe

April 2008

  1. New Video Questions Dupre’s Claim
  2. Client 9’s Playmate Sues Over “Girls Gone Wild” Video
  3. UPDATE: “Duct Tape Bandit” Pleads Guilty
  4. “The Secret”: Your Path to Happiness, Love, Litigation
  5. European Union Passes Volume Limits for Bagpipes
  6. Benny the Bull In Trouble Again
  7. Charges Dropped in “Weekend at Bernie’s” Case
  8. Hair Salon’s Reign of Terror Finally Ended
  9. Obama’s Campaign Font Said to Offer Hope, Geometric Simplicity
  10. UPDATE: “Bulletproof” Reposa Gets 90 Days for Lewd Gesture
  11. Woman Sues for Injuries Caused by Large Dancing Mystery Man
  12. Tiny Billionaire Will Be New Italian Prime Minister
  13. Rooster Executed
  14. “Bulletproof” Attorney Jailed After “Obscene Gesture” in Court
  15. Charges Filed After Parents Argue Over Baby’s Gang Affiliation
  16. UPDATE: Transcript of Witchcraft Resolution Hearings Posted
  17. UPDATE: Fired Butt Artist Settles Wrongful-Termination Lawsuit
  18. Arguments Commence in New Zealand Spear-Assault Trial
  19. Man Faces Five Years for Hedgehog Assault
  20. Revenge of The Prop Guy
  21. Youth Rights Under Siege in Midwest
  22. Witches Screwed Again in Connecticut
  23. Poll: What’s the Scariest Part of the Torture Memo?
  24. Man Jailed for Curiosity About Groin-Kicking
  25. Florida Attorney Sanctioned for Insulting Court with “Children’s Picture Book”
  26. Wombat-Rape Story NOT An April Fools’ Day Item
  27. New Zealander Sentenced for False Claim of Wombat Rape

March 2008

  1. Russian Farmer Sues Space Agency for Rocket Damage
  2. Canadian Dollar, Lawsuit Activity Up
  3. Court of Appeal Upholds Right to Private Drunkenness
  4. San Francisco Superior Court Is Victim of Hit-and-Run
  5. Video Ruins Yet Another Workers’ Comp Claim
  6. “Pro-Life” Candidate Seeks to Appear on Idaho Ballot
  7. FBI Will Take Decisive Action to Protect Federal Officials From Noogies
  8. Southerners Fear War Between the States
  9. When Cows Attack
  10. Escaped Prisoner Mocks Police, Insists They Recapture Him
  11. Bear Convicted
  12. New Website Design: Please Read With Caution
  13. U.S. Supreme Court To Consider Use of Expletives
  14. Another Reason Not to Streak in Minnesota
  15. Kevorkian May Run for Congress
  16. The Law Accordion to Hanson Bridgett
  17. Politician Reinstated After Scandal
  18. How Client-9 Was Caught
  19. Florida Election Too Close to Call Because Nobody Voted
  20. Elvis’s Pretrial Conference Goes Poorly
  21. New York Town Takes Serious Action Against Silly String
  22. Brazilian Boy Will Not Be Allowed to Enter Law School
  23. A Doughnut Drama in Three Acts
  24. Deponent and Counsel Jointly Sanctioned $367 Per F-Bomb
  25. Law School That Didn’t Exist Is Sued by Student Who Didn’t Take Classes
  26. Japanese Bikini Model Uses Self as Exhibit
  27. Police Say Shooting Designed to “Get Some Time Off Work”

February 2008

  1. Deadline to Apply for Internship With Sen. Larry Craig is March 15
  2. Italian Supreme Court Further Limits Groping Rights of Italian Men
  3. Repeated Demands for Prostitute: Grounds for Termination?
  4. Junk-Mail Deliverer Sues After Mailbox Injury
  5. “Heavy Hitter” On the Ropes
  6. Police Stop of Ax-Wielding Bike Rider Found Justified
  7. Ginormous Rock at Issue in Engagement-Ring-Retrieval Suit
  8. Practice Tip: Probably Okay to End Deposition Early if Other Side Brings a Gun
  9. Butt Artist’s Case Against Former Employer Will Proceed
  10. Judge Jumps the Gun on Declaring Defendant Guilty
  11. Bill Would Make KFC the “Official Picnic Food of Kentucky”
  12. Mustache-Discrimination Case Reaches Indian Supreme Court
  13. FBI Rejects Waterboarding In Favor of Starbucks
  14. Judge Bars Holocaust Float and Dancing Hitlers from Rio’s Carnaval
  15. Overaggressive Handshake Lands Attorney in Jail
  16. “Puddles” Scandal Drives Mayor Out of Office
  17. Barack Obama’s Fight Against Vampires Set to Music
  18. Ballot Proposal to Turn Alcatraz Into “Global Peace Center” Fails
  19. Snack Analysis Leads to Thief
  20. City Sues to Force Alleged Recycler to Keep Trash Service
  21. Lawsuit Appears Likely Against Collection Agency For Letter Addressed to “Mr. S__t Face”

January 2008

  1. UPDATE: Driver Drops Lawsuit Against Family of Cyclist He Killed
  2. Attorney Held in Contempt for Reading Maxim in Court
  3. Mug Offered as Evidence to Prove Defendant Was “World’s Greatest Dad”
  4. Cyclist Sued for Damaging Front of Driver’s Car
  5. Candidate’s Platform: “I Don’t Plan to Do the Job”
  6. Robber Awarded $1 Million for Violating Probation
  7. If Great Literary Works Had Been Written by Lawyers
  8. Car’s Owner Receives Multiple Parking Tickets For Car That Had Been Stolen
  9. Plaintiff Who Visited “Pissed Off Pete’s” Alleges Beating by Pete [Updated]
  10. Court Ruling Will Force Employers to Spank Employees Equally
  11. New Addition to Case Law Hall of Fame: The Case of the Stuffed-Bear Donation
  12. Debate Over Free-Speech Rights of Chicken Man Rages in Colorado Town
  13. UPDATE: Monkey Denied Person Status
  14. What Not to Use as a Disguise, #3: Drywall Compound
  15. Katrina Victim Sues For Three Quadrillion Dollars
  16. Missouri City Council to Consider Ban on Swearing, Bar Dancing
  17. Take the Workplace Harassment Quiz
  18. Appellate Court Agrees that Written Request to “Kiss My Ass” is Contempt of Court
  19. UPDATE: Law Student Sues School; Says Low Grape Point Average Explained by Disability
  20. Shark to Be Installed In Lawyer’s Office
  21. Consumer Advocate Successfully De-Taxes Toilet Paper in Pennsylvania

2007 320

December 2007

  1. “Follow the Chicken”
  2. Trekkie Sues Auction House Claiming Trek Prop Is Fake
  3. Egypt Says It Will Copyright Pyramids
  4. Another Football-Related Trial Continuance Granted
  5. Gang of Drunken Santas Attack Theater
  6. Warrant Issued for Formerly Naked SF Mayoral Candidate
  7. ABA Demotes Gonzales from “Lawyer” to “Newsmaker” of the Year
  8. Italian Court Renames Couple’s Baby
  9. Santa Groped
  10. UPDATE: Snowball-Assault Case Dismissed “In Interest of Justice”
  11. Accused Robber Gets New Trial After Jurors Find New Evidence in Coat
  12. Jury Finds Pool Store Not Liable For Goose Attack
  13. Man Who Told Sentencing Judge He Was “Bored” Will Spend Seven Exciting Years in Jail
  14. Hindu Gods Ignore Court Summons
  15. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #6: Bring a Sword to the Courthouse
  16. Snowball-Assault Case to Be Retried This Week After Mistrial
  17. Feuding Newport Beach Fortune-Teller Clans Take Dispute to Court
  18. First Santa Attack of 2007 Results in Arrest
  19. Cartoon Characters Subpoenaed
  20. Ninth Circuit Applies “Slubby Mass” Rule to Dismiss Appeal

November 2007

  1. Police Battering Ram Brings Pizza Thief to Justice
  2. Proposed Law Would Require Thai Drivers to Stop for National Anthem
  3. Guitar Has-Beens v. Guitar Hero
  4. Police Led to Car Wash Robber by Trail of Quarters
  5. Indiana Attorneys Work in Firm With Barred Windows
  6. Missouri City Joins Campaign Against Saggy Pants
  7. UPDATE: Battle Over Cat Jurisdiction Enters Fifth Year
  8. Drug Dealers Subject Buyer to Cookie Torture
  9. Judges in China Ordered Not to “Frolic,” Hold Hands
  10. Legislator Says Lack of Science at Global-Warming Hearing Is Due to Lack of Scientists
  11. UPDATED: Lawyer Songs Reasonably Likely to Rock
  12. Laptop Miraculously Disappears During Prayer Session
  13. Accused Stapler Bandit Escapes With $175; Is Later Arrested
  14. Government Matches O’Melveny’s 239-Page Tome
  15. Motion to Recuse Based on “Prior Relationship” With Judge Is Denied
  16. UPDATE: Custody Battle Ends; Judge Orders Leg Returned to Owner
  17. Colbert Is Tied in Election for Conservation District Board, But Cannot Serve
  18. NYC Councilman Proposes Legislative Ban on Pigeon Feeding
  19. L.A. Firm Now Employs Attorney Concierge
  20. British Court Finds Inherent Right Not to Live in France
  21. Accused Flasher Exposes Evidence in Court
  22. Pants Judge Ordered Out of Office
  23. Taster’s Case Will Be Heard by California Supreme Court
  24. Court Rules Spider Bite Not a Valid Defense to Rape Charge

October 2007

  1. Sentence Handed Down in Michigan Pickle-Assault Case
  2. Alabama Dinner Party Participants are Latest to Sue Borat
  3. After “Evaluation of the Past,” City Says Stalin Will No Longer Be Honorary Citizen
  4. Judicial Candidate Asks Donors for Money; Says They Will Need Him in Court
  5. Sam Adams Willing to Discuss Use of “Sam Adams” by Sam Adams
  6. Casebook is Only Casualty in Law School Shooting
  7. Judge In $54 Million Pants Case Soon to Be Former Judge in $54 Million Pants Case
  8. “Bong Hits 4 Jesus: The Movie”
  9. Burglars Become Part of Police Training Session
  10. Google Searches That Led to “Lowering the Bar,” Part Two
  11. Lawyer Says Client Is Remorseful Over Duck Beheading
  12. ACLU May Defend Toilet-Insulter
  13. Ruling on Typo Means It’s Still Okay for Young’uns to Marry in Arkansas
  14. Romney Would “Sit Down With Attorneys” Before Attacking Iran
  15. UPDATED: Patriots and Belichick Sued for “Violating Integrity of the Game”
  16. Surprising Court Loss for Woman Who Challenged State’s Authority to Require Driver’s License
  17. UC Berkeley’s Law School Chooses Expensive New Name
  18. Inappropriate Judicial Commentary, #37
  19. Please Do Not Read This Post
  20. Good Reason to Kill #3: Accused of Having Smelly Feet
  21. Ostrich Murderer Sentenced to Five Months in Jail
  22. Teacher Fired for Gluteal Art Sues Employer
  23. Federal Court Dismisses 15-Count Lawsuit Alleging That Plaintiff Was Unfairly Given a “C”
  24. Lawsuit Seeks $1 Million for Those Who Bought Full-Price iPhone
  25. Michael Vick Attends PETA Seminar on Empathy for Animals
  26. Chimp Will Appeal Denial of Personhood to Austrian Supreme Court
  27. Battle Over Custody of Leg Escalates
  28. Blog Tracks Employment-Law Violations at Dunder-Mifflin

September 2007

  1. Minneapolis to Remodel Larry Craig Memorial Restroom
  2. “I’m Feeling Lucky,” Say Plaintiffs Suing Google
  3. Bulgaria Suffering From Too Much Democracy; Must Import Envelopes to Hold It All
  4. New Jersey Supreme Court Will Hear Inflatable-Rat Case
  5. Smuggler Calls Customs Officers to Ask If They’ve Seen His Cocaine-Filled Backpacks
  6. Crazy Guy Helps O.J.’s Defense Team at Press Conference
  7. God Responds to Nebraskan’s Lawsuit
  8. Lawyer Files Complaint Wearing Scuba Gear
  9. Noise Ordinance Violators Sentenced to Easy Listening
  10. Nebraska State Senator Sues God to Protest Frivolous Lawsuit
  11. O.J. Simpson Arrested; Blames Police, J. Edgar Hoover
  12. Opinion Corrected: Replaces “Iggidy” With “Wiggity”
  13. Plain English Campaign: “If Nothing Needs to Be Said, Say Nothing”
  14. Tool Sued
  15. Lawyers Attack Riot Police “With Furled Umbrellas”
  16. Spanish Thief Partly Like Robin Hood, Partly Not
  17. “American National” Sues All Nine Supreme Court Justices
  18. McDonald’s Employee Charged With Oversalting Officer’s Burger
  19. O’Melveny & Myers Shames Itself With 239-Page Brief
  20. Steven Seagal Demands FBI Apologize for Ruining His Career
  21. Official on Trial for Corruption Reads Tearful, Plagiarized Apology
  22. Former Sideshow Performer Says He Hopes to Become “Freak Lawyer”
  23. Man’s Right to Fish Recognized; Violation Held Not Grounds for Divorce

August 2007

  1. Two Louisiana Cities Join Latest Wave of Low-Pants Legislation
  2. Leona Helmsley Leaves $12 Million to Dog
  3. German Awarded Just $4,100 for Lost Skull Section
  4. Jury Finds Officer Was Still “On Duty” During Sex
  5. Activist Convicted of Pelting School Board Members With Grapes
  6. Atlanta Joins Those Bravely Fighting Low-Pants Epidemic
  7. Former Greenskeeper Detained For Allegedly Driving Golf Cart Drunk Through Downtown Stockholm
  8. UPDATED AGAIN: Lawyer Has Client Tasered; Says He “Had No Choice”
  9. Heart Attack Blamed on Failure to Warn About Massive Consumption of Red Bull
  10. Michael Vick’s Legal Troubles Escalate
  11. Judge Pearson Appeals in Lost-Pants Case
  12. “Duct Tape Bandit” Apprehended Immediately
  13. Man May Lose Car For Second DWIB: Driving While Intoxicated and Blind
  14. Liability Concerns Said to Be Hobbling British Clowns
  15. Federal Government Learns There is “Obscenity” on Internet; Is Sort of Prosecuting It
  16. Man Sues 1-800-Flowers Over Unfortunate Thank-You Note
  17. Mysterious Cat-Napping Terrorizes New Zealand Community
  18. Seattle Attack Blamed on Karaoke, Coldplay
  19. “Too Drunk to Remember” Excuse Deployed by Federal Judge
  20. Pants Judge Notified He May Not Be Reappointed
  21. Robbery Tip #147: Don’t Leave Your Gun on the Counter
  22. Russian Olympic Athlete “Smiling All the Time” After Murder Conviction
  23. Architect Pursues Rival Beyond the Grave
  24. New Rules Will Require Chinese Buddhists to Apply for Reincarnation
  25. Maine Dentist Suspended for “Practice Run Amok”
  26. Marilyn Manson Sued by Former Bandmate
  27. Internet Flame War Ends in Burning Trailer, Prison Time
  28. Law School Documentary to Tell Story of Oklahoma Students
  29. “Schnitzel Stephan” Convicted on Multiple Dine-and-Dash Charges
  30. “Californian For Obama” Says He Has Done Nothing Illegal

July 2007

  1. Latest “Shaming” Punishment Involves Chicken-Suit Perp Walk
  2. Dentist Sued for Installing Tusks Gets Insurance Coverage, Says Court
  3. Judge Halverson Suspended by Nevada State Commission
  4. Fundraiser Held for Defendants in the Pants Lawsuit
  5. Hungarians To Vote On Siesta Referendum
  6. If You Have Any Claims to the Pyramid, Now’s the Time
  7. Locking Kid in Closet During Packers Game Results in Jail Time
  8. Groping Costumed Characters Declared “Inappropriate”
  9. Court Denies Motion to Preclude Reference to “President Bush” and/or “Free Speech”
  10. Legal Battle Rages Over Future of Hemingway’s Mutant Cats
  11. Golf-Ball Bandit Strikes in Kansas City
  12. Tourist Files Complaint Against Primate Thief
  13. No Reconsideration of Verdict in Pants Case: Appeal Looms
  14. A Wine So Good It May Turn Your Robbery Into a Group Hug
  15. Canadians Get More Leeway to Joke in Airport-Security Lines
  16. Judge Pearson Ignores Standing Eight-Count, Staggers Back Into Ring
  17. British Judges and Lawyers No Longer Bewigged
  18. Captain America to be Spared Jail Time
  19. How to Avoid Jury Duty by Going to Jail Instead
  20. Tree Robs Bank; Birnam Wood Suspected
  21. Contract Held Not Binding Although Written in Blood
  22. Indiana Man Attacks Lawyer in Courthouse; Another Lawyer Sort of Helps
  23. Court Reverses The Taster’s $15-Million Award
  24. Six-Figure Award in Case of Golf Cart v. Chevy Cavalier
  25. British Court Allows “Second Bite at the Cherry” in Divorce Case

June 2007

  1. Defendant Continually Surprised By Failure of Jury-Attacking Strategy
  2. Order Directs Counsel Not to Mudsling, Fingerpoint
  3. Washington Post Says Pants-Case Judge Should Not Be Reappointed
  4. “Folksy” Language Unfortunate for Litigation Purposes
  5. No Protection for “BONG HiTS 4 JESUS”
  6. Judge Who Lost Pants Loses Case
  7. Two (2) Ticket Disputes Rip Apart Lawyer Friendships
  8. Court Rules Woman Who Didn’t Enter Lottery Not Entitled to Damages For Not Winning
  9. Decisions Loom in $54-Million-Pants Case
  10. Return to Blogging
  11. Vacation
  12. Judge No Longer Barred From Courtroom, Still Being Sued by Staff
  13. UPDATE: The Mega-Pants Trial Continues
  14. Live-Blogging From the Pants Trial
  15. Trial of Judge’s Lost-Pants Claim Set to Begin
  16. UPDATE: Rooster Killer Gets Probation
  17. Fight Breaks Out in Alabama Legislature
  18. Racist Dog Rejects Job Applicant
  19. Readers Overwhelmingly Support Morrison Pardon
  20. “It’s in God’s Hands Now” — Paris Hilton Returns to Jail
  21. Granddaughter of Zorro Sues For Treaty Violation
  22. Burglar’s Plea to “Let It Be” Backfires With Judge
  23. Charges Dropped Against Woman Arrested for Making Faces at Police Dog
  24. UPDATE: Defendants Cleared of Ostrich-Impotency Charges
  25. Judge Drops Pants; Suit Still On
  26. Biggest Divorce Settlement Ever Gets Bigger
  27. Defendant Learns Why Blogging About Your Own Trial is a Bad Idea
  28. Law Student Claims Discrimination Against Unskilled Typists
  29. Georgia Court Rules Against Mom, in Favor of Harry Potter and Satan

May 2007

  1. Bar Association: Lawyer-Administered Beatings May Be Unethical
  2. Pakistani Supreme Court Intervenes in Song-Lyric Dispute
  3. UPDATED: Miami Shooting Reopens Debate Over Condiment Control
  4. Congressman Pursues Pick-Pocket, Publicity
  5. Note to Self: Saying “With Respect” Just Before Insulting Judge Does Not Confer Immunity
  6. Australian Court Frowns On Settling Law-Firm Dispute With Baseball Bat
  7. Riddle Me This: When Does a DNA-Test Result With 99.9% Certainty Not Prove Paternity?
  8. Bishop Says Octuple Bigamy Due to “Misunderstanding”
  9. Failed Valedictorian Sues Teacher Over Bad Grade
  10. No Questions Again This Term from Justice Thomas
  11. Plaintiff in Assassination-Conspiracy Case Will Take Less Than $1.4 Billion for Quick Settlement
  12. Biter Says Bites Were to Teach Bitee Not to Bite
  13. In Case Relating to Internet, Be Sure to Explain to Judge What an “Internet” Is
  14. Fake-Lawsuit Plan Derailed by Chance, Stupidity
  15. City of Montreal Ordered to Pay $27,000 for Disastrous Bar Mitzvah Reception
  16. German Court Tells Bald Man to Buy a Hat
  17. Hilton Unable to Testify in Civil Case Against Her, Says Hilton’s Psychiatrist
  18. Dueling Lawsuits Filed Over Copyright Claim by Mental Spoonbender
  19. Attorney Billboard Stating: “Life’s Short. Get a Divorce” Lasts Just One Week
  20. CORRECTION Re: Taiwan Legislative Tactics
  21. Andy Griffith’s Suit Against Andy Griffith Dismissed
  22. California Justice: Battling Petitions Argue For or Against Pardon for Paris Hilton
  23. How to Fail Your Driving Test
  24. Brawl in Taiwan’s Legislature Does Not Result in Compromise
  25. Mexican Restaurant Offers Taco Reward for Info on Break-In
  26. Man Who Expected to Die, But Didn’t, Threatens To Sue Over Wrong Diagnosis
  27. Professional Beer Taster Successfully Sues Employer After Becoming An Alcoholic
  28. Attorney Demands $50K For Injury Caused by Pizza Hut Door
  29. Cardinals Fan Sues Over Botched Tattoo
  30. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished # 174
  31. Paris Hilton Will Lead The Very Simple Life for the Next 45 Days
  32. Further Details Emerge on $65-Million-Pants Lawsuit
  33. Mr. Peepers Survives Vehicular Assault
  34. Magicians Make Lawsuit Appear Out of Thin Air
  35. ATRA Offers to Buy Plaintiff New Pants (Presumably for Less Than $65 Million)

April 2007

  1. Long-Distance Relationship Made Easier by Multiple Car Thefts
  2. Youthful Terrorist Apprehended
  3. Lawyer Seeking $65 Million for Pants-Related Fraud
  4. Indian Warrant for American Gigolo
  5. Bar Complaint Charges Judge and Prosecutor With Repeated “Ethical Lapses,” If You Know What I Mean
  6. Terrorism Charge Against 15-Year-Old Blamed on Daylight Savings Time
  7. IBS Added to List of Outstanding Criminal Defenses
  8. Class Members Sought for Anti-Shark Litigation
  9. Hong Kong Tycoon Leaves Everything to Feng Shui Master
  10. Nice One, Einstein
  11. Jackass Testifies
  12. Morrison Pardon Update: Letter to Gov. Crist
  13. Second Japanese Toilet Manufacturer Admits Its Product Placed Buttocks at Risk
  14. UPDATE: Underwear-Throwing Not Motive in Opera Cancellation
  15. Florida Governor Is “Seriously Thinking” Of Pardoning Jim Morrison
  16. UPDATE: Convictions in “Band-Aid Bandit” Case
  17. Japanese Company Warns That Defective Toilets May Catch Fire
  18. “Girls Gone Wild” Creator, Residing in Hole, Continues to Dig
  19. Candidate Wins Race With Zero Votes
  20. People You Probably Don’t Want to Have Do Your Taxes
  21. Florida Governor Will Review Request to Pardon Jim Morrison
  22. UPDATE: Larry Birkhead Possibly Father of Anna Nicole Smith’s Child
  23. Georgetown Professor Bans Laptops From Classroom
  24. Japanese Candidate Says He Will Win By Outliving Opponents
  25. City Council Successfully Prosecutes Itself; Feels “Vindicated”
  26. “Girls Gone Wild” Founder Says Judge Has Gone Wild in Suit Filed by Girls Who Had Previously Gone Wild
  27. Tampa Trial of Band-Aid Bandit Begins
  28. Man Sued for Negligent Dancing
  29. Definition of “Vehicle” Tested in Recent Drunk-Driving Cases
  30. OJ Suing Goldmans to Stop Them From Profiting on His Book on How He Would Have Killed Their Son, If He Did
  31. Ostrich Murderer Walks Away With Five-Month Sentence
  32. New LAPD Flashlights Feared Less Effective in Beatings

March 2007

  1. The $100 Million Cite-Check Mistake
  2. Search Engine Captures Bank Robber It Had Previously Instructed in Bank Robbing
  3. Celery-Throwers Face Charges in Britain
  4. U.S. Supreme Court Gets All Up in Guam’s Face
  5. Officials Report Burqas May Hide More Than Female Form
  6. Philippine Police Warned Not to Walk Too Gaily
  7. Sen. Specter’s Lips Refuse to Participate in Subpoena Vote
  8. Googling the Bar
  9. Bay City Rollers Reunite for Lawsuit
  10. Opera Singer Successful in Lawsuit by Underwear Collector
  11. German Lawyer Ends Brief With Punchy National Socialist Conclusion
  12. Ukraine Invaded by Rowing Team
  13. Non-Weeping Anna Nicole Judge Busted For Pot
  14. Today’s NY Crime Quiz
  15. Clinton Campaign May Be Tracking Gore’s Waistline
  16. Anna Nicole Smith Case Used as Teaching Tool
  17. Unrepentant City Council President Says He Took Bribes “For the People”
  18. UPDATE: Settlement Talks Break Down in Case of Previously Lustful Ostrich
  19. Deputy Leprechaun Harasses Orlando Motorists
  20. Malaysian Police Round Up Midget Gang
  21. Jury Rejects Teacher’s Claim of Anti-Witch Discrimination
  22. Penguin Sought in Connection With Child Taunting
  23. China Says Its Courts Will Be More Cautious With Death Penalty
  24. Politician’s Website Reaches Out to Klingons
  25. High School Dispute-Resolution Exercise Solves Major World Problems
  26. Man Asks Police for Help With Break-In
  27. Libel Suit Against Food Critic Alleges Steak Sandwich Misclassified
  28. Werewolf Charged With Disorderly Conduct
  29. German Teenagers Accused of Proximately Causing Ostrich Impotency
  30. Indiana Bank Refuses to Accept Check Signed by Deity
  31. German Man’s Pole-Sitting Appeal Is Unsuccessful
  32. Police Chief and Police Dog May Have Same Degree

February 2007

  1. Why Dannielynn Gets Everything
  2. New Law Punishes Husbands Who Are “Jealous” or “Indifferent”
  3. Lodi Nut Company to Close Gift Shop Due to Terrorism Concerns
  4. Please Note: Even Elderly Marines Can Kick Your Ass
  5. Post-Traumatic-Internet-Addiction Claim is Back in the News
  6. Lawyer Victorious After Two-Year Legal Battle Over $3.76
  7. Cross-Dressing Lawyer Held in Contempt, Quits Practicing Law, Then Changes Mind
  8. PTO Refuses to Register “Obama Bin Laden” Trademark
  9. Batman Eludes Phoenix Police
  10. Manila Airport Security Apprehends German Pants-Dropper
  11. One or Maybe Three More Claimants Emerge in Smith Case
  12. Cohabitation May No Longer Be Sex Crime in North Dakota
  13. I Am Also the Father of Anna Nicole Smith’s Baby
  14. Illinois Spa Bandit Seized
  15. New York Attorney Fights Nunchaku Intolerance (Updated)
  16. Nobody Tells This Wookiee What to Do
  17. Best and/or Worst of 2006, Part Two
  18. Best and/or Worst of 2006, Part One

January 2007

  1. Best Lawsuit of 2006?
  2. Best Legal Argument of 2006?
  3. Embezzler Keeps Low Profile By Purchasing Ranch, Talking Trees, 20-Foot Dragon
  4. Brat’s Screaming Ruled Proximate Cause of Chicken Tragedy
  5. Iraqi Parliament Actually Has a Quorum
  6. Police in Tijuana Are No Longer Empty-Handed
  7. Perry Mason Summarized
  8. Police Rapidly Crack the Case of the Stolen GPS Devices
  9. Professor Will Fight for Freedom of Fecal Expression
  10. Lawyers Show Their Tats to the ABA
  11. Motion to Continue Because Saints Are in the Playoffs: GRANTED
  12. Motion to Continue Trial on the Grounds that the Saints Are in the Playoffs
  13. Attorney Free on Bond After Kissing Judicial Marshal
  14. Leftish, Sentimental, Naive Big-Firm Partners Insist on Doing Pro-Bono Work for Nation’s Possible Enemies
  15. Cake-Wielding Police-Station Vandals Test Positive for Icing
  16. WARNING: “Welsh Dragon Sausages” May Not Contain Real Dragon
  17. Behind Door No. 2, One Year in Jail
  18. NY Mayor Bloomberg Reveals Existence of “Batphone” to Senate
  19. Police-Brutality Claim Averted by Video Evidence
  20. Wacky Warning Labels, 2006
  21. Mike Tyson Chats Freely With Police After Arrest: All Goes Well
  22. Mannequin Enthusiast Still Being Persecuted by Michigan Authorities
  23. Clown’s Smile at Half-Staff in Honor of President Ford
  24. Rabbit Town Versus El Baldo

2006 242

December 2006

  1. Driver Arrested For Helping While Intoxicated
  2. Lawsuit Demands Restaurants Warn Customers Their Food May Be Cooked
  3. Why Not to Slap Fellow Airline Passengers, Reason #1
  4. Man Determined to Spend Time in Jail Will Probably Get His Wish
  5. Inmate Faces Preliminary Hearing on Charge of Aggravated Flatulence
  6. Snakes’-Rights Activists Put Indian Snake Charmers Out of Work
  7. Guestblogging at Overlawyered.com This Week
  8. Employee Sues After “Chat-Room Addiction” Not Accommodated
  9. Jesus May Not Have the Votes to Become King of Poland
  10. Two Suspects Arrested In Ohio Snowman Assault
  11. East Texas Ninjas
  12. UPDATE: Charges Against Accused Serial Meower Are Dismissed
  13. Borat Defeats Frat-Guy Defamation Lawsuit
  14. Texas Bill Would Assist Blind Hunters
  15. Employees May Not Be Fired for Insulting Boss, Says Court
  16. Colorado Judge Rules “Hacky-Sack” Is Not Juggling
  17. Accused Serial Pig-Tosser Fined
  18. Californian Wins Right to Use Exclamation Point in His Name
  19. New York City Now Enforcing Ban on Mystery Meat
  20. UPDATE: Ex-Mayor Pleads Guilty to Buying Votes With Pork Rinds

November 2006

  1. Class Action Alleges Guacamole Dip Was Insufficiently Avocadoey
  2. UPDATE: Deer Season Continuance Granted
  3. Goat-Painter and Accomplice Face Criminal Charges
  4. City of Minneapolis Sued by Zombies
  5. There Can Be Only One! And It Won’t Be The Guy With the Golf Club
  6. Rink Employees Fired For Late-Night Zamboni Run
  7. Heroic Recliner Saves Husband From Wife’s Assault
  8. San Francisco OKs Pot, Bans Styrofoam
  9. Judge Rules Burrito Is Not Sandwich
  10. Drunk Australian Threatens Police With Snake
  11. UPDATED: Government Sued Over Racism, Cat
  12. O.J. to Explain How He Hypothetically Did It
  13. New ABA Book To Convince Kids That Lawyers are Totally Awesome
  14. Fraternity Members Sue After Being Depicted as Drunken Sexist Morons
  15. Ostriches May Have Last Laugh on Halloween Assailants
  16. Woman Sues Over Negligent Jiggling Contest
  17. NFL QB Demands Mom Stop Using Him in Campaign Commercials
  18. Captain of the U.S.A. v. Bush
  19. Orange-Jumpsuit Halloween Costume Causes Problems
  20. Lawyer’s Bin Laden Halloween Costume Not Popular

October 2006

  1. Coin-Toss Decision Not the Weirdest Thing abut Alaskan Election
  2. German Love Witch Loses Appeal
  3. Court of Appeal Hears Case of The Taster’s Choice Guy’s Face
  4. Judge Queries Whether Defendant Wants a Piece of Him; Is Censured
  5. Wisconsin Spa Bandit Strikes For Sixth Time
  6. Boston Primary School Becomes Latest to Ban Tag
  7. DA Sticks With Witness Who Says He Sees Horned Aliens
  8. Andy Griffith Running for Sheriff in Wisconsin
  9. Federal Appeals Court Affirms Right to Call Outfielder a “Fat Ass”
  10. Chinese Entrepreneur Sues for Right to Sell Special Air
  11. Toga Party Attendance is Critical in Abu Ghraib Defense
  12. “Sprightly Nonagenarian” Finishes Law School Just in Time to Die
  13. Pet Owners Sue Over Agents’ Failure to Make Them Stars
  14. “At First Blush, It’s a Lot of Money”
  15. Dashing Diner Wins Verdict in Trial Over $46 Tab
  16. Names on No-Fly List Questioned
  17. German Seeks Compensation for Alien Abductees
  18. New Defense Strategy: Put Your Client’s Head in a Box
  19. Candidate Begs Voters to Pick His Opponent

September 2006

  1. Congressman Steps Down After Questionable E-Mails
  2. Law Student Has Not Learned Not to Steal
  3. Endangered Species Rescued from Smuggler’s Pants
  4. Deer Season Cited As Basis for Motion to Continue Trial Date
  5. Man Injures Self When Assaulting Biker Gang
  6. Man on Trial for Computer Theft Steals Courthouse Computers
  7. Ninth Circuit Rejects Right-to-Land-Personal-Jet Case
  8. How Law Evolves in Serbia
  9. Case Least Likely to Be Successful on Appeal to the Ninth Circuit
  10. Ninth Circuit Ruling Should Protect Advertising Mascots in Western U.S.
  11. Defective Hairpiece Blamed for Cardiac Arrest
  12. Minnesota Charges Wife With Having Sex With Husband
  13. Pennsylvania Boy Charged With Repeated Meowing
  14. British Motorist Blows Up Wrong Part of Camera
  15. Absence of Goats Cited as Reason for Speeding
  16. The McHenry Code
  17. Letter Encouraging Mediation
  18. Motion for Extension of Time Due to Puppies

August 2006

  1. Copycat Bunk-Bed Case Filed in England
  2. Deposition Confirms Suspicions of Drug Use
  3. Least Useful Tip in the Form 1040 Instructions (2005 Edition)
  4. Fortunetelling Permits Freely Available in San Francisco
  5. Hero Attorney Sued
  6. Identical Twin of Michael Jordan Drops $800-Million Lawsuit
  7. Indiana Judge Detains Five Suspected Ringing-Cell-Phone Culprits
  8. Judge Finds Sufficient Evidence to Try Man on Pump-Related Charges
  9. Go Ahead and Hate Your Neighbor, Go Ahead and Cheat a Friend
  10. Woman Sues J.C. Penney For Mannequin Attack
  11. NJ Appeals Court Holds No Duty to Warn About Gravity
  12. Airport Screeners Directed Not to Touch Your Monkey
  13. Woman Sues Mall for Aiding and Abetting Squirrel Attack
  14. N.Y. Attorney Disbarred Based on 14 Trumped-Up So-Called Ethics Charges
  15. Lawyer Claims Condition Inherent in Marriage Proposal Entitles Him to Get Ring Back
  16. Judge Admonished About Cheering for Seahawks
  17. Judge Rules Lawyer Is Too Drunk to Litigate
  18. Judge Dismisses Lawsuit Against City Alleging Unlawful Rescue From Tiger
  19. “Goofy Letter” Unmasks Bogus Attorney
  20. Order Granting Motion to Compel Lunch
  21. Latest Handwritten Notice of Appeal
  22. America’s Proudest Pedophile
  23. Don’t Pre-Judge My Client Simply Because He Is Covered in Blood
  24. How to Get Reprimanded, #137
  25. New York Man Violates Two Rooster Laws at Once

July 2006

  1. Woman Armed with Gucci Bag Removed from Flight
  2. “Parent of the Year” Committee Plans Background Checks in the Future
  3. UPDATE: Arkansas-Chicken-Man Assaulter Captured
  4. Clever New Zealanders Self-Reclassify Cars to Save on Taxes
  5. Officials Shocked to Find Homeland Security Money Was Misused
  6. Insurance Company Cancels Christ Insurance
  7. Arkansas Chicken Man Plagued by Attacks
  8. The Tale of Dr. Moodie and Ms. Alice
  9. Clown Suit Threatened
  10. Angry Parrot Leads Police to Thief
  11. Judge Tells Convicted Vandals to Trash Their Own Cars
  12. Nebraska Police Searching for Stolen Juggling Equipment
  13. U.S. Happy to Evacuate Americans from Lebanon, and Will Even Let Them Pay Later
  14. Memphis Lawyer Is Also Lord of Great Horwood
  15. Arizona May Pay One Lucky Voter $1 Million
  16. Battle of the Bigfoot Researchers
  17. Virginia Governor Pardons Witch
  18. Rejected Democrat Has Choice Words for Party Leaders
  19. “Holy Grail” + LSD + Off-Duty Cop = Jail
  20. Man Worried That One of Other Personalities May Have Passed Checks
  21. Who Not to Steal From, #287
  22. British Duke Charged With Contacting Minors at Minnesota School
  23. Chicago Bulls Mascot Arrested for Assaulting Officer
  24. Family Drops Plan to Sue Cable Company for Making It Fat and Lazy
  25. Sign-Switcher Convicted Anyway

June 2006

  1. Lowering the Bar Cited as International Precedent
  2. Compulsive-Shopper Defense Does Not Spare Woman From Jail for Spree
  3. $10 Parking Fine Spawns First-Amendment Brawl
  4. Karma Chameleon Will Do Community Service With NY Sanitation Department
  5. Alert Bartender Saves Plymouth, Indiana, From Terrorist Attack
  6. Australian Mint Worker Enjoyed Challenge of Stealing from Australian Mint
  7. Anti-Fluffernutter Legislation Sparks Battle in Massachusetts
  8. Criminal Cat Spared, Gets Home Detention
  9. LoTB Road Show Draws Few Protesters
  10. Robber Sues Store Employees After Beating
  11. Seven-Foot Green Attorney Smashes Opponent
  12. Meat Loaf Sues Over “Bat Out of Hell”
  13. Canadians Pass $204 Billion Spending Bill by Accident
  14. Rock, Paper, Scissors Match to Resolve Discovery Dispute
  15. Lawsuit Claims Contract Written in Blood Should Be Extra-Enforceable
  16. Executioner Wanted: Must Have Own Hood
  17. How They Filibuster in Taiwan
  18. Dutch Pedophiles Organize to Protect the Right to Molest

May 2006

  1. Driver Labeled as “Dangerous” Simply Because He Has No Arms
  2. Panel Concludes Legislators Should Not Work Drunk
  3. Las Vegas Police Catch Woman Who Filed False Disability Claims
  4. BBC Interviews Wrong Man Re Apple Trademark Verdict
  5. “Curse You” — The Musical!
  6. Feud A’brewin Over Appalachian Pet Ownership
  7. O.J. Continues Zany Antics by Appearing on Candid-Camera Show
  8. Oklahoma Ends Tattoo Holdout
  9. Wisconsin Supreme Court OKs Warrantless Laxatation
  10. You Thought Things Were Bad Before
  11. Man Wants Money Back for MiG-21 Bought on eBay
  12. After Conviction, Zacarias Moussaoui Wants to Withdraw Guilty Plea
  13. California Finally Passes Anti-Tom-Cruise Law
  14. TSA Clears Self of Suspicion in Inspection Dispute
  15. Judge’s Mystic Dwarf Friends Identified
  16. French Invasion of Florida Foiled by Authorities
  17. UPDATE: Spankee Awarded $1.7 Million; Will Appear on “Oprah”
  18. Hawaii Supreme Court Rules Yelling “Fore” Isn’t Legally Required
  19. Supremes Rule in Favor of Anna Nicole

April 2006

  1. “Da Vinci Code” Judge Encodes Message in Ruling
  2. German Court Holds Streakers Liable to Stadium Owners
  3. Burying the Hatchet
  4. David Copperfield Claims to Have Tricked Muggers
  5. Tip of the Day: Spanking, Mocking, Diapering All Frowned Upon in the Workplace
  6. Gum-Chewer Charged with Insulting Kemal Ataturk
  7. No Seat-Belt Citation for Corpse
  8. The Latest on Your Homeland Security Dollars
  9. Florida State Senator Promises to Try New Media Strategies
  10. “Mrs. Noisy” Sentenced to Year in Prison
  11. New Orleans Mayoral Candidate Blasted for Picture of “French Quarter”
  12. Death v. Graves
  13. “Star Wars Kid” Lawsuit Settles
  14. Homeland Security Department at Work Protecting Northern Alabama
  15. Officer Stops Cane-Using Old Lady From Delaying Traffic in LA
  16. Agent Shoots Himself, Sues Employer
  17. Legal Battle Between Dwarf Tribute Bands is Looming
  18. Judge in Philippines Discriminated Against for Being Psychic
  19. Man Accidentally Divorces Wife While Asleep
  20. Tangerangian Osculation May Not Exceed 4:59
  21. Federal Asset-Forfeiture Strategy Extended to Drug Defendants’ Teeth
  22. A Brawl That Maybe You Should Not Find Funny, But Probably Will
  23. Man Detained as Terrorism Suspect After Singing to Cab Driver
  24. Peruvian Candidates Desperate for Attention

March 2006

  1. Pimp Sues Customers For Engaging in Illegal Activity
  2. Dodgeball Game Leads to Assault Charges
  3. Zimzim Urallala Zimzim, Says Mayor
  4. Man Charged With Leaving Scene of Crash After Snake Attack
  5. Note to Self: “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” May Not Be Legally Binding
  6. Citing Authority, Scalia Argues Cogently That His “Obscene Gesture” Was Misinterpreted As Such
  7. Village Policeman Charged With Corruption
  8. REPORT: Government Covering Up Truth About 9/11, According to Charlie Sheen
  9. Broker, Employer Battle over Reasons for Firing
  10. Teacher Sues for Harassment Due to Farting Chair
  11. Secretary of State in Possession of Coca Leaves
  12. Iraqis Can Now Buy Terror Insurance
  13. The ‘Heavy Hitter’ Will Sue Nevada Bar For Right to Keep Slogan
  14. How Your Homeland-Security Money Is Making You Safer
  15. Senator is Unclear “What a Trillion Is”
  16. Murder to be Tried for Murder
  17. Man Seeks Damages for Damage Caused by Man
  18. Marital Spat Escalates to Use of Napalm
  19. Cuddling Ticket Overturned
  20. World’s Newest Democracy Enters Modern Age
  21. Massachusetts State Legislature: Hard at Work
  22. Surgeon Arrested for DIOWPI: Demanding Immediate Operation While Possibly Intoxicated
  23. Couple Sues for $20 Million Due to Bedbug Bites
  24. Order Denying Motion for Incomprehensibility
  25. Vote-Buying, Appalachian Style
  26. South African Police Shoot Invisible Man
  27. “Citizens” Know More About Simpsons Than About First Amendment

February 2006

  1. New Documents Show Policeman Was Injured Last Summer by Falling President
  2. Insurer’s Attempt to Blame Dog for Fire Fails
  3. Berkeley Disinvites Thousands of Losers from Admission Party
  4. Whoever Was Buying the Kid Rock Sex Video Now Has to Stop
  5. 7-Year-Old Girl Marries Dog, Family Celebrates
  6. Charmingest-Named Supreme Court Cert Denial Ever
  7. Good Reason to Kill #1: Roommate Used The Last Roll Of Toilet Paper
  8. Mahjong: That Loving, Brutal Game
  9. Texas Candidate Says Former Life as Prostitute is Behind Him
  10. Kansans Wanting to Marry a 12-Year-Old Must Act Quickly
  11. Latest E-Mail Shot Heard Round the World
  12. Trigger-Happy Cheney Bags Lawyer During Weekend Hunting Trip
  13. TRAVELER ALERT: Heads in Luggage Must Be Declared
  14. Judge Apologizes for Pre-Sentencing Super Bowl Cheer
  15. Benihana Cleared in Flying-Shrimp Wrongful-Death Case

January 2006

  1. “CSI” Fans Possibly Better at Crime
  2. Loincloths Not Acceptable Courtroom Attire
  3. SF Man Persecuted Just for Loud Music, Spotlights, Machine Guns and Explosives
  4. FYI: Judge Mockery Should Not Be Done On-Line
  5. Just Say No to Door-to-Door Tattoo Salesmen
  6. “Salamander Man” Finally Captured
  7. Rich Hope to Freeze Assets as Well as Heads
  8. Seriously Defective Lawyer May Be Entirely Normal Lawyer
  9. How to Collect from a Stubborn Client
  10. Woman + Woman’s Fetus Held Not to Constitute “Carpool”
  11. DNA Links Dog to Cat Murder
  12. Police Stop Knife Fight Involving Banana Boy

2005 178

December 2005

  1. Study Concludes Scalia 19 Times Funnier than Ginsberg, Infinitely Funnier than Thomas
  2. Afternoon, Your Honor . . . D’oh!
  3. PETA Staffer Changes Name to “Kentucky Fried Cruelty”
  4. Lack of Courtesy Costs Lawyer $18,950
  5. South Korea to Issue Indictments by Cell Phone
  6. More Bad Santas
  7. Santa Fights Off Scottish Punks
  8. Where Not to Flee After Robbing Someone, #174
  9. Hussein Can Poke American Eyes With Own Hands
  10. David Letterman Fights TRO Granted to Crazy Lady
  11. ‘Tis the Season — for Santarchy
  12. Note to Self: If Found Guilty, Leave
  13. Drunken Finn Continues Pestering Norway
  14. Murderer Freed Because Evidence Showed Murder Was Intentional
  15. Police Dog Sued
  16. Death May Be Banned in Brazilian Town
  17. Being a Judge in South Padre Island Is Entertaining
  18. Why Legal Advice Is Important to Businesses
  19. Utah Government Says It Will Try Not to Bomb Any Homes This Season
  20. Typing Error Costs $225 Million (So Far)
  21. More Gripes From Accused War Criminals
  22. Saddam Denounces Deprivation of Underwear as “Terrorism”
  23. Borat Supports Kazakhstan Lawsuit

November 2005

  1. Ronald MacDonald Charged With Stealing From Wendy’s
  2. Dutch Group Seeks Prosecution For Murder of Domino-Toppling Sparrow
  3. Kazakhstan v. Ali G.
  4. “Captive Angels” Post Personal Ads
  5. Judge Not Amused by Twin Antics
  6. Ghosts Ruled Not Grounds for Denying Unemployment Benefits
  7. UPDATE: Man Stuck to Toilet Seat Passes Polygraph; Copycat Case in California
  8. Senator Supports Non-Senatorial-Wife-Damage-Cap Legislation
  9. UPDATE: Least Viable Consent Defense Ever Is Rejected by Jury
  10. Court Rules Workers’ Comp Covers Hockey Player Injured in Fight
  11. Least Viable “Consent” Defense Ever
  12. Man Stuck to Toilet Seat Sues Home Depot
  13. Italian Cities Begin Regulating Pet Owners
  14. This Year’s Costumed-Criminal Stories

October 2005

  1. Naked Chinese Stuntman Arrested At Niagara Falls
  2. Battle Is Joined Over “Milk Duds” Name
  3. Drinking Problem Suspected for Drunk Attorney
  4. President’s Counsel Writes The Onion to Demand Seal be Removed
  5. Tip for Travelers: Nude Bathing in Holy Lakes is Frowned Upon
  6. Australian Group Calls for Law to Prevent Rabbit Molestation
  7. “Mental Incident” Defense Gains Probation for Pantsless American
  8. Saddam Hussein’s Trial Begins
  9. Dog-Bite-Law Man Bitten
  10. Canadian Immigration Agency Rushes Stewart Permit Application; Will Be In Time for Pumpkin Race
  11. Brazilian Court Will Rule on Psychic’s Claim to Saddam Reward
  12. Man Claiming to be Armed with Mouth Bomb Fails in Robbery Attempt
  13. Nebraska County Will Proceed With Pointless Recall Election
  14. New Chief Justice Drops Arm Stripes
  15. Patient Suing Doctor for “Sex Treatments”
  16. Chicken-Wing Assault Leaves None Dead, Three Under Arrest

September 2005

  1. $2.50 Shoplifting Case Enters Third Year of Legal Proceedings
  2. Santa Compensated for Loss of Reindeer
  3. Witchcraft Class Ruled Tax-Deductible
  4. Supreme Court Will Hear Anna Nicole Smith’s Case
  5. Ban Sought on Using Defendant’s Nickname
  6. Man Breaks Into Fiji President’s House For Low-Impact Workout
  7. Drill-Team Dance-Off Ends in Major Brawl; Arrests Follow
  8. Lawmaker Will Keep Promise to Run Naked Through Town
  9. Germans Told Not to Smile for Photos
  10. Hey, Hey, Hey! It’s Trademark Infringement!
  11. Indian Rat Surveillance Department Comes Under Fire
  12. Undisclosed-Ghost Defense Asserted in Lease Case
  13. Cunning and Ruthless ‘Survivor’ Winner Still Ruthless, Not All That Cunning
  14. “Real Men Study Law”
  15. “Do You Hate Me” Found to Be Useful Voir Dire Question

August 2005

  1. Saddam Unhappy with Legal Team; Fires 1,499 of Them
  2. Press Coverage of Runaway Bride Continues During Lawn-Mowing Community Service
  3. Thai PM Uses “Family Feud” Device During Press Conference
  4. British Police Foil Ring of Gnome Thieves
  5. Least Successful Attempted Crime Spree
  6. Man Beaten With Own Leg by Leg-Wielding Girlfriend
  7. New York AG Shuts Down “Smackfest” Slapping Contests
  8. Yoga Classes Found to Make Inmates More Agitated and Aggressive
  9. “Feel My Pipes” Deemed Inappropriate Icebreaker at Law Firm Events
  10. Plaintiffs Allege Church Did Not Deliver Promised Meeting With Jesus

July 2005

  1. Sentence Enhancement Imposed for Bullshit
  2. Latest Example of “Law Clerk Bingo”
  3. Kansas Police Return Confiscated Foot to Owner
  4. Can a Mug Shot Also Be Evidence of the Crime?
  5. Poorly-Planned Flight From Law Ends in Courtroom
  6. Man Fakes Own Kidnapping to Avoid Wrath of Girlfriend
  7. Identical Twins Change Names to Honor Wrongly Convicted Anarchists and Ancient Migratory Tribe
  8. Military Theorists Concerned That Terrorists May Resort to “Lawfare”
  9. Cell Phone’s Ring in Court Earns Man Jail Time
  10. Carjacker in Jesus Cape Believed to Be “Religious Nut”
  11. Drug Rocket Fails to Launch
  12. Martha “M. Diddy” Stewart Tells All
  13. Sandy Baby Announces Retirement
  14. World Cup Organizers Fear Knife-Wielding Streakers

June 2005

  1. Muslim Cleric Bans “Annoying” Celebratory Shooting Into Air
  2. Nintendo Unveils “Ace Attorney” Adventure Game
  3. Souter Property May Be Seized Based on Souter Opinion Allowing Seizure of Property
  4. Public Defender Suspended For Nastygram About Pay Raise
  5. Lawyer’s Ketchup Email Circles the Globe
  6. Human Cannonball to Sue After Being Fired for Fear of Flying
  7. Disability-Benefits Fraud Ended by Unfortunate Photos
  8. CNN: Michael Jackson: Does Anyone Care?
  9. Buddhist Monks Fined After All-Out Monk Brawl
  10. That’s One Small Snip for a Barber, One Giant Check for Barberkind

May 2005

  1. British Medical Experts Say Knives Too Pointy, Call For Ban
  2. “Revenge of the Sith” Causes Stupid Sith to Happen
  3. Note to Self: Cancel Credit Cards So Ex Cannot Use Them to Hire Hit Man
  4. Chinese Couple Sues After Man Breaks Arm During Newlywed Games
  5. Governor Blames Grand-Jury Investigation on Testicular Virility
  6. Politician Confused Into Dousing Homeless Man With Champagne
  7. State Seeks to Evict Woman From Lava Tube
  8. Abdul Accuser Would Cooperate With Government in “Idol” Probe, If Any
  9. Geneva Convention Invoked to Save Grapefruit Tree
  10. Robert Blake Sought to Enlist 70s Stars in His Legal Defense
  11. The Savior Has No Comment At This Time
  12. Give Me a T

April 2005

  1. Yawner Held in Contempt of Court
  2. St. Louis Woman Sues After Bird Assault
  3. Update – Pirate Captain Wins As Predicted
  4. “I Just Want to Let You Know, There Was A Statement In the Pants”
  5. Beetle-Hunting Lawyer Held at Gunpoint by Police
  6. Airport Camel-Suit Thief Facing Dismissal
  7. Cookie Monster Will Now Advocate Eating in Moderation
  8. Messages Not to Leave for a Judge, #47
  9. Crooks Leave Trail to Own Front Door
  10. Michelangelo’s David Declared Obscene in Indiana
  11. Canadian Taxpayers April Fooled
  12. Pirate Captain Expected to Become N.C. State Class President
  13. Swedish Child-Bikinis Called “Remarkably Daft”
  14. Rhode Island Anti-Autograph Bill Doomed to Failure
  15. Schiavo Case Headline of the Week

March 2005

  1. Latest Excerpt That You Would Hope is a Joke But Unfortunately Is Probably True
  2. Men Who Posed as Wife Beaters Sue Over Wife-Beater Portrayal
  3. Easter Bunny Beaten, Will Prosecute
  4. Seven-Year Sentence for British Fruit-Wielding Bandit
  5. Headline of the Week
  6. Louisiana Convenience Store Robbed by Pirate
  7. Moments of Zen
  8. “Don’t Follow Me or I’ll Shoot,” Says Leprechaun
  9. Unfortunate But True Vanity Plate Results in Arrest
  10. Canadian MP Apologizes for Suggesting Canada “Embarrass” the US
  11. Calm Heads Not Prevailing in Cat-Hunting Debate
  12. Illinois Plaintiffs’ Attorney Manages to Sue Himself in Complicated Scheme
  13. Dog Subpoenaed
  14. Tut Murder Cover-Up Continues
  15. Husband’s Smell Destroys Iranian Marriage
  16. Indiana Supreme Court Resolves Piercing Issue
  17. Man Says He Robbed Bank As Part of Research Project

February 2005

  1. Man Arrested After Bragging About Unsolved Robbery on Talk-Radio Show
  2. Court Rules Woman Did Not Rob Man of Genetic Material
  3. Bruce Springsteen and the American Lawyer
  4. Man’s Life Ruined by Naked Breakdancing at Soccer Match
  5. SUV Comically Destroyed in Fiery Crash
  6. Police Put Clamp on Injured Man’s Ambulance Until Fine is Paid
  7. Nebraska Supreme Court Spares Life of Dog
  8. Thai Sex Tycoon Smashes Bathtub to Prove Fitness for Office
  9. Yet Another Flatulent-Shoe Lawsuit
  10. Let’s Trim Our Hair According to Socialist Lifestyle
  11. Dog Fetches at Wrong Time
  12. Update: Virginia Low-Pants Legislation Dies in Senate
  13. L.A. Jury’s Mistake A Mere $1.8 Billion
  14. Virginia Joins Assault on Low-Riding Pants
  15. Valiant Legal Defense Fails to Save McMuffin Hurler
  16. Alcohol May Have Played a Role in Parrot Beheading
  17. Healthy Woman Evicted from Hospital Bed After Year-Long Stay
  18. Man Who Tried to Kill Pope Wishes Pope Swift Recovery
  19. How to Turn a $250 Job Into $15.6 Million

January 2005

  1. City Council Says Listening Requirement is Bad Precedent
  2. Oklahoma Bill Would Require Cocks to Be Gloved
  3. Sorry I Robbed You . . . Are You Busy Later?
  4. Iowa Bill Would Protect Public From Deadly Spinner Hubcaps
  5. Lawyer’s Briefs Save His Life
  6. Fat Legislator Does Not Blame Food Suppliers For His Fatness
  7. ‘Survivor’ Winner Charged With Filing False Tax Returns
  8. Another Shocking 9th Circuit Decision
  9. Wal-Mart Greeter Fired for Greeting Customers With Picture of Naked Wal-Mart Greeter
  10. What Not to Steal and Who Not to Steal it From
  11. Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk, At Gunpoint
  12. Very, Very, Very Dangerous Stowaway Bid Fails
  13. NBC Forces Man to Watch Fear Factor

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