Lowering the Bar
Legal Humor. Seriously. By Kevin Underhill.
- Posts
- 4,031 from 6 Jan 2005 to 30 Oct 2026
- Posting
- weekly (43 in the last year)
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- personal blog
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Latest
October 2026
- Assorted Stupidity #176
- Flamingo Stealer Convicted of Animal Cruelty
- Again I Warn Thee: Fleeth Not by Water
- Court Holds AI-Generated “Victim Statement” Not Reliable
September 2026
- Judge Won’t Stand for Being Jerked Around
- Turns Out ChatGPT Can Fabricate More Than Just Case Law
- Assorted Stupidity #175
- Author of “The Man Who Robbed a Bank With a Banana” Robs Bank With Banana
August 2026
- Parking Company Apologizes to Formerly Dead Woman for $80 Ticket
- RFK Jr. Claims He’s Not Allowed to Vote Because He Has “No Legal Residence”
- How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You? Anything You Type, Burgundy Will Read
July 2026
- Former Employee Sues Comcast Over Alleged Pie-in-the-Face Policy
- Florida Bans Unnaturally Posed Stuffed Baby Crocodilians
- Church of Scientology Wants Someone Else Punished for Making Stuff Up
- Official State Crap Update: California’s Official Shrub
June 2026
- Nicholas Rossi Finally Extradited From Earth
- A Note on the E-Mail Newsletter
- Assorted Stupidity #174
- It Was Only a Matter of Time: *Both* Sides’ Lawyers Sanctioned for Using AI
- Two More Lawyers Pay for Relying on Artificial “Intelligence”
May 2026
- Good Reason to Kill #79: Disputed Seating at Kindergarten Graduation
- ChatGPT Confesses to a Crime It Didn’t Commit
- Under Haitian Law, Is It Illegal to Make a Zombie?
- Six-Month Sentence in Bee-Assault Case
April 2026
- “The Mistake Will Not Recur [Until Two Sentences From Now]”
- Assorted Stupidity #173
- Sentences Handed Down in Bear-Suit-Insurance-Fraud Case
- Cat Blamed for Crime
- Still Illegal to Drive (a Horse) Under the Influence in Kentucky
March 2026
- Official State Crap: Kansas
- FEMA Official: Teleporting to Waffle House Was an “Incredible Adventure”
- Judge Prepares Slide Deck of Lawyer’s Mistakes
February 2026
- Assorted Stupidity #172
- U.S. Pat. No. 8,667,956: Controllable [Human] Launcher
- In Memory of “Death v. Graves”
January 2026
- Judge Finds for 11-Year-Old in Toy-Dinosaur-Assault Case
- New York State May Allow “Dancing by Default”
- Get Lost, 2025
December 2025
November 2025
- First Alleged Space Crime … Didn’t Happen
- Jury Deliberates in Sandwich-Assault Case [Update: Not Guilty]
October 2025
- Okay, It Seems to Have Been Pretty Successful
- Was That Scuba Burglary a Successful Aquatic Escape?
- Nirvana Beats Former Baby’s Lawsuit (Again)
- Lawyers Say Chief Justice “Calm” Despite Flying Shoe
- Court: Complaint That Spends 79 Pages Praising the Client Shall Be Rewritten
September 2025
- Following Up
- Assorted Stupidity #170
- Can You Get a DUI in a Barbie Jeep? Again, Yes
- Yet More Aquatic Escape Attempts
August 2025
- DUI Lawyer Promises to Swoop in Riding Mighty Eagle
- Alleged Irish Orphan Convicted of Being American Rapist
- In the Ancient Libraries of Ashurbanipal
- Constitution Deleted
- Sea-Cucumber Abuser to Be “Moved Far From the Sea for a Long Period of Time”
July 2025
- Defendant Recruited Seven Actors to “Testify” in Fraud Trial
- Assorted Stupidity #169
- Justice Harlan on Dirty Movies: “By Jove! Extraordinary!”
June 2025
- Authorities Question Unlicensed Beaver Releases
- Man Forced to Concede His Lawyer Is “Not a Real Person”
- Drunken Mule-Rider Accused of Assault With Deadly Raccoon
- Please Do Your Best Not to Appear in the “AI Hallucination Database”
- Idaho Passes Emergency Truck-Nuts Legislation
May 2025
- U.S. Supreme Court, 1795: FYI, You Guys Should Be Filing Briefs
- Assorted Stupidity #168
- Plaintiffs Allegedly Struck by Prosthetic Leg Flung From Carnival Ride
- Judge Tells Lawyers to Apologize for Screaming at Philadelphia
- “Real Live Flesh and Blood Man” Still Subject to Australian Law
April 2025
- “Dragon Lawyer” Files Complaint With Cartoon Dragon
- “Would You Be Surprised to Learn This Case Does Not Exist?”
- I Will at Least Concede That Nobody Needs More Than One Emotional-Support Tiger
- U.S. Supreme Court Won’t Decide Who Owns Banana Taped to Wall
- Assorted Stupidity #167
- Lawmaker Wants to Regulate Self-Checkout Lanes
March 2025
- Official State Crap: Iowa
- President Threatened With Witchcraft
- Arsonist Reportedly on Fire
- Smoke Bombs, Flares Liven Up Parliament Session
February 2025
- Party Frowns on Members Punching Constituents
- Court: DA’s Witchcraft Accusations Were a Bit Over the Line
- Husband’s Disability Claim Undermined by Evidence of Repeated Sasquatch Hunts
- Puppet Master Turned Illegal Beagle Breeder Says He Ran Over Cops Because of “Emotions”
- “Is This Some Sort of Joke?”
January 2025
- Iowa Lawmaker Introduces Bill to Protect Iowans from Shark Bites in Iowa
- Judge Orders Lawyers to Have Lunch Together and Discuss “How They Can Act Professionally”
- Assorted Stupidity #166
- Dictator Reportedly Bans “Treasonous” Hot Dogs
- Goodbye, 2024
December 2024
- Now Go Away or He Will Taunt You a Second Time
- Sovereign Citizens Convicted of Trying to Kidnap Coroner They Accused of Necromancy
- Many Still Insist on Trying to Flee Authorities via Water
November 2024
- Still No Lawsuit Against the Fake Colombian Basketball Team
- Insurer Thinks Bear Shown in Video Trashing Car Looks a Lot Like a Guy in a Bear Suit
- Assorted Stupidity #165
- WE DID IT!
- November Surprise! State Finally Releases RFK Jr.’s Falconry Records
- House Advertised as “Not Haunted”
October 2024
- RFK Jr. Gets Nowhere With Residency Appeal
- The Prisoner Formerly Known as Nicholas Rossi Finally Admits He Lied About His Identity
- Is It Legal to Import Sheep Testicles So You Can Breed Giant Alternative Livestock to Kill?
- Hawaii Makes the Shaka Its Official State Gesture
- Woman Freed After Lab Confirms “Suspicious Residue” Was SpaghettiO Sauce
- Cease-and-Desist Letter Fails to Prevent Competing “World Naked Bike Ride”
- Alleged Tax Dodger Says It’s a “Legitimate Snail-Farming Operation”
September 2024
- So Sean “Diddy” Combs Isn’t Having a Great Year
- RFK Jr. Falconry Followup
- Drivers Won’t Yield to Pedestrian in Chicken Suit
- Assorted Stupidity #164
- RFK Jr.’s Falconry Records Still Secret—For Now
- Bubble-Blower Charged With “Littering Prohibited Fluids”
August 2024
- Court Orders Martin Shkreli to Hand Over His Wu-Tang Clan Album (Again)
- RFK Jr. Expected to End Campaign After Questions Raised About Falconry License
- Judge Rejects RFK Jr.’s Claim to Be New York Resident, Despite Valid State Falconry License
- Man Pleads Guilty to Handling Salmon Under Suspicious Circumstances
- Juror Swears Oath on Cup of River Water
July 2024
- Assorted Stupidity #163
- Mother Teresa Pleads Guilty to Ponzi Scheme
- Attorney Held Not Quite Annoying Enough for Restraining Order
- Three-Page Limit Exceeded by 70
- “A Losing Argument Is Not the Same as a Frivolous One,” Except When It Is
June 2024
- Assorted Stupidity #162
- Suspended-License Case: More Complicated, Not Less Dumb
- Seventh Circuit: Please Don’t Use the “Twilight Zone” Font in Briefs Ever Again
May 2024
- Guy With Suspended License Takes Court Call on Zoom While Driving
- Priest Who Bit Woman During Mass Says She Had It Coming
- “LOL, no,” Explained
- Guess Who’s Decided to Represent Himself?
- Noodler Guilty of Murdering Alleged Bigfoot-Summoner
- This AI Garbage Bot Claimed It Was Thinking of Me the Other Day
- Assorted Stupidity #161
April 2024
- “LOL, no.”
- Alleged de Armas Fans Get Nothing in Misleading-Trailer Lawsuit
- O.J. Simpson Embarks on Long, Slow Bronco Ride Into Eternity
- Are Chemtrails Spreading Across the Country? No, But Goofy Chemtrail Legislation Is
- Dwarf Planet, Giant Slug
March 2024
- Tennessee Senate Votes to Ineffectively Ban Something That Doesn’t Exist
- Tribunal Dismisses Hotpot-Based Marital-Status-Discrimination Claim
- Is Originalism Bullshit?
- Water-Escape-Attempt Roundup
February 2024
- Roadkill to Become Fair Game in Virginia
- Assorted Stupidity #160
- Florida Rep: This Bill Doesn’t Target All Bears, Just “the Ones That Are on Crack”
- High Noon in the Missouri Senate?
January 2024
- Reminder: Lawyers Should Try Not to Sleep Through “Important Aspects of Trial”
- Nicholas Rossi’s World Tour Continues: Now Appearing in Utah
- Feds Frown Upon Humorous Electronic Traffic Signs
- Plaintiff Aghast That Her Peanut Butter Pumpkins HAD NO EYES
- Former Fugitive Extradited, Briefly De-Trousered
- “I Hereby Swear to Hate Henry Symeonis, Whoever That Is.”
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