The Curious Engineer

Lowering the Bar

2010–2013

1,318 posts

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2013 277

December 2013

  1. Plaintiff Who Was “Pantsed” Appeals Six-Figure Verdict in His Favor
  2. Good Reasons to Kill #42-46: Christmas Assortment!
  3. Comical Case Names: Terrible v. Terrible
  4. England’s Clowns Are Furious
  5. Book Update IV: The Christmas Miracle
  6. Book Update III: The Rebookening
  7. Today’s the Last Day to Vote on the ABA Journal “Blawg 100” List
  8. Guy Who Sued Country for Bad Weather Declared a “Quarrelsome Litigant”
  9. U.S. Patent No. 8,359,664: How to Cover Yourself in Plants
  10. Another Technical Note
  11. Good Reason to Kill #41: Employee of the Month
  12. RSS Feed Update
  13. Hey! I Talked About Stuff on the Internet
  14. Okay, I Thought People Were Using “Affluenza” as a Joke
  15. Interpreter Now Claiming Schizophrenia; Legal-Humor Bloggers Not Buying It
  16. Sign-Language Interpreter Actually Just “Waving His Arms Around Meaninglessly,” Experts Say
  17. Assorted Stupidity #57 [Correction]
  18. “She Said ‘This Is a Gun.’ I Said No, It’s a Prop for My Monkey.” [Updated]
  19. Prosthetic Arm Found in Second-Hand Shop
  20. Good Reason to Kill #40: Denied Access to Family Cat
  21. Is the Government Tampering With Witnesses in No-Fly Trial?
  22. The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance!
  23. “The Notification Was Posted on the Recipient’s Gravestone Because He Is Deceased”
  24. More on that Atrocious Lawyer Ad [Updated]
  25. Good Reason to Kill #39: Took All the Crab Legs

November 2013

  1. Police Warn of Alarming Clown Epidemic
  2. O.J. Simpson Set Free
  3. Springfield’s Buttocks Surface; Plaintiff’s Lawyer Comments
  4. No, I Don’t See Anything Wrong With This Lawyer Ad. Why Do You Ask? [Updated]
  5. Town Forgets to Have Election Again
  6. “Ford Nation” Already Canceled
  7. Senate Votes to Limit the Filibuster
  8. Mistrial Declared in Rick Springfield’s Buttocks-Assault Case [Updated]
  9. May a Magistrate Judge Ethically “Dance With the Stars”?
  10. The U.S. Supreme Court Coloring Book (2013 Edition)
  11. The Rogers Doctrine
  12. Retraction of the Millennium
  13. “Probably an Accident,” Say Police About Death of Spy Found Inside Locked Bag
  14. Missouri Supreme Court Hears Hot-Dog-Flinging Case
  15. An Important Solar Update
  16. No Quantum of Solace
  17. Plaintiff in Deming Case Was Held for 15 Hours [Updated]
  18. Do NOT Clench Your Buttocks in Deming, New Mexico
  19. Captain Justice Responds to Government’s Motion to Ban the Word “Government”

October 2013

  1. If They Violate Your Privacy in the Woods, Do You Make a Sound?
  2. Associates Not Pleased With Memo on “Presentation Tips for Women”
  3. Of Course the Dress Code Does Not Apply to the Savior
  4. Officer Who Pepper-Sprayed UC Davis Students Is Awarded $38,000
  5. South Dakota v. Fifteen Impounded Cats
  6. Police Called to Investigate Breakroom Jell-O Theft
  7. Official State Crap: Colorado
  8. Assorted Stupidity #56
  9. Judge: “Tell Congress to Go to Hell”
  10. State Troopers Say Maryland’s AG Is a Terrible Backseat Driver
  11. TSA Embarrassed by Nine-Year-Old
  12. “No, You’re Still Deceased,” Judge Tells Dead Man
  13. The Fun of Telling a Court You’re Not Going to Obey Its Order
  14. School Bans Fun
  15. UPDATE: Pirate Joe’s Prevails … For Now
  16. Why the Devil Quit Bothering Pigs, According to Justice Scalia
  17. Ape Map
  18. Good News for Law Firms: UFOs Are About to Save Us All
  19. No, Twerking Is Not Illegal

September 2013

  1. O.J. Simpson Actually Not Guilty of Something
  2. Motorized Bar Stool Was “Not Road-Legal,” Say Police
  3. UPDATE: Hiccup Girl Convicted of Murder
  4. Canada’s Long National Nightmare Is Over: Last Maple-Syrup Pirate Arrested
  5. Good Reason to Kill #38: Peaceful Easy Feeling
  6. How to Avoid Jury Duty (Audio Version)
  7. U.S. Pat. No. 35,600: The Plow Cannon
  8. Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Off to Jail—So Everything Must Go!
  9. To Boldly Snoop Where No Snoop Has Snooped Before
  10. Women Can’t Vote in Sistersville
  11. 2013 Ig Nobel Prizes Announced
  12. Another Hiring Triumph for TSA
  13. House Stabbed
  14. If You Can’t Read This, You Can Still Get a Gun Permit in Iowa
  15. Google Might Need to Re-Scan Plato’s Laws [Updated]
  16. Lousy War-on-Terror Arguments Used to Justify Preemptive Strike Against Neighbors
  17. Anthony Weiner, Now Polling Seven Percent, Yells at a Voter [Updated]
  18. Blue Man Suit
  19. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #11: Witchcraft, or Something

August 2013

  1. Joe Francis Sentenced to Nine Months in Jail
  2. Droopy Jeans Ruin Yet Another Getaway
  3. U.S. Pat. No. D675886: Snack Chip Eating Utensil
  4. The Blonsky Device
  5. Defendant Claims His Underwear Is 50 Years Old
  6. Good Reason to Kill #36: Dubstep; and #37: King of Pop
  7. “The Super Bowl of Fortuneteller Fraud Cases”
  8. Attorney General Questions Value of a Degree From “Trump University”
  9. Man Loses Bob Dylan Hair in Divorce Settlement
  10. Allegedly Handsy Mayor of San Diego May Resign Friday
  11. Why Is Trader Joe’s Suing Its Best Customer?
  12. Good Reason to Kill #35: Missing Can of Shrimp
  13. Police Pretty Sure Man Tied Himself Inside Sack and Shot Himself Before Jumping Into River
  14. And No Warrants Shall Issue, Unless the King Says So
  15. Okay, Sir, I’m Going to Make Two Hand Gestures at You Now
  16. What? I Said “Trust NASA .” What Did You Think I Said?
  17. Washington May Join 19 Other “Right to Dry” States
  18. “Trust Us,” They Said, With a Straight Face
  19. And This Is My Pet Unicorn, Mr. Carrot Pretty Lashes
  20. Former Couple’s Legal Fight Now in Year Seventeen
  21. Bill Would Protect Students’ Right to Carry Pastry Guns (Updated)
  22. Disability Claimant Busted After Appearing on “The Price Is Right”
  23. Mayor Complains That City Didn’t Train Him Not to Harass Women
  24. Security Expert: Broad U.S. Terror Alert Is “Crazy Pants”
  25. “Such an Abuse [of the Page Limitations] Is Not in Any Sort to be Tolerated”
  26. Law School to Remove Fraudster’s Name From Atrium
  27. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #10: F-Bomb After Being Selected
  28. Zimbabwe: Would Whoever Has Our List of Registered Voters Please Contact Us?

July 2013

  1. I Can’t Play NHL 2008 Online Forever, Plaintiff Complains
  2. London Fire Brigade Suggests One Might Wish to Avoid Sticking Oneself in Things
  3. Good Reason to Kill #34: Bishop to Queen’s Knight 6, Checkmate
  4. Note: Guy With Murder Scene Tattooed on His Chest Was Convicted in 2011
  5. Guess Whose Email the NSA Can’t Read
  6. Has the TSA Searched Your Car? Yet?
  7. North Carolina Considers Abortion/Motorcycle Safety Bill
  8. DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK EITHER
  9. DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK (If You Are a DHS Employee)
  10. USDA Requires Magician to Create “Disaster Plan” for His Rabbit
  11. Suspect Leaves Facebook Comments Under His “Wanted” Photo
  12. U.S. Pat. No. 1,926,420: Monkey Dog Saddle
  13. D.C. City Council Takes Time Out to Honor Spiderman
  14. Asiana Airlines Says It Will Sue KTVU for Airing Prank Names
  15. Be Sure to Look Nice When Planning Your Husband’s Murder
  16. Report: Bin Laden Also a ‘Huskers Fan
  17. Report: Bin Laden Wore a Cowboy Hat to “Avoid Detection From Above”
  18. Of the Teaching of the Law, and How to Do It
  19. Odd Law Book News
  20. PATENTED: The Yeehaw Faucet
  21. Update on Justin Bieber’s Monkey

June 2013

  1. Assorted Stupidity #54 [Updated]
  2. Five-Year Fight Over Open Container of O’Doul’s Will Continue
  3. The Dude Who Went to Pizza Court
  4. Good Reason to Kill #33: Didn’t Invite You to 2-Year-Old’s Birthday Party
  5. Top Ten Notable Facts About the Gay-Marriage Decisions
  6. Oregon Designates Official State Microbe
  7. Last Day to Submit a Public Comment on TSA Screening [Updated]
  8. Three Things Dick Nixon Enjoyed
  9. Assorted Stupidity #53
  10. Here Come the Other “Happy Birthday” Lawsuits
  11. TSA Agent Tells 15-Year-Old Girl She’s Not Dressed Appropriately
  12. Great Response to a “Prank” Cease-and-Desist Letter
  13. The Photo-Booth Idea Was Bad Enough to Begin With
  14. Michael Jackson’s Ghost Testifies His Death Was an Accident
  15. Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Here’s a Copyright Lawsuit, Happy Birthday to You
  16. Court to DOJ: About That Meta-Data You Said You Didn’t Have … [Update II]
  17. TSA Has Objected to Lightsabers Before
  18. Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson Gets 30 Days in Jail After Slapping His Attorney’s Butt [FIXED?]
  19. TSA Questions Chewbacca’s Lightsaber
  20. From the Police Blotter: Steve Martin Can’t Play the Banjo
  21. Official State Crap Update: Connecticut Punts the Wright Brothers
  22. New York Considering Bowling-Shoe Warnings
  23. More Fun With Jeremy Bentham
  24. Justice Scalia and the Genetic Panopticon
  25. Official State Crap: Connecticut

May 2013

  1. Man Tries to Blow Up Misspelled Sign, Criticizes Misspelled Bomb Instructions
  2. Man’s Inhumanity to Manatees
  3. Lego Gun Incident Ends Better Than Pastry Gun Incident
  4. Orly Taitz Tried to Sue the Electoral College
  5. Good Reason to Kill #32: Disagreed About Who Should Win “American Idol”
  6. Some Updates, Which I Guess Have Turned Out to Be Mostly About Randy Quaid
  7. Does “6” Infringe on “9”? What If It’s Upside Down?
  8. Mom Has Son Arrested for Stealing Her Pop-Tarts
  9. This Product Contains 100% Something!
  10. Accused Mustard Vandal and Dog-Puncher Grabs a Couple of Brews During Pursuit
  11. Official State Crap: California
  12. On Second Thought, Don’t Pick Up Any Hatchet-Waving Hitchhikers at All
  13. Has Justin Bieber Abandoned His Monkey? [Updated]
  14. Does Eric Holder Know?
  15. Assorted Stupidity #52
  16. Naked TSA Protester’s Appeal to Be Heard Tuesday
  17. Creeps (Back) in the News
  18. Mom, I Love You, But Please Don’t Write Foreign Leaders Without Telling Me
  19. No, You Can’t Force Your Employees to Be Scientologists
  20. John McAfee: “I’m a Master at Sullying My Own Name”
  21. Former Judge Ordered to Send Out Pictures of Herself Wearing Handcuffs
  22. Judge Orders Prenda Law Group Beamed Out Into Space
  23. Guess What the Air Force’s Chief of Sexual Assault Prevention Was Just Arrested For (UPDATED)
  24. TIP: If You’re Standing in Front of a Car, You Are In a Poor Negotiating Position
  25. U.S. Pat. No. 6,368,227: Method of Swinging on a Swing [Updated]
  26. Does Size Matter? (Or, In Memory of Miss Wiggles)
  27. Hairy-Visor Infringement Update!

April 2013

  1. Comes Now the Plaintiff, Seeking a Declaratory Judgment of Hairy-Visor Non-Infringement
  2. WARNING: Peanut Shells May Contain Peanuts
  3. Judge Holds Himself in Contempt for Cellphone Violation
  4. Classifying a Killer Whale for Tax Purposes
  5. Attorney: “The Training I Received at Hustler Was Extremely Helpful” in Law School
  6. Tax Day
  7. Plaintiff Who Keeps Suing Search Engines Still Not Clear on Streisand Effect
  8. Sharp Conflict in Reports on Courthouse Duck Incident
  9. Criminal-Defense Tip: Do Not Answer the Door Holding Contraband
  10. White House Grants Senate a Glimpse of Legal Memo Re: Killing Americans
  11. Oregon, Hawaii May Name Official State Microbes
  12. Well, at Least He Wasn’t Texting
  13. The Day Justice Douglas Threw a Book Out the Window
  14. Blade Walks in Daylight Again
  15. Official State Crap: Arkansas
  16. North Carolina Would Like to Opt Out of the Supremacy Clause
  17. Good Reason to Kill #31: Refused Second Pretzel Dip
  18. Trump Dismisses “Spawn of Orangutan” Lawsuit
  19. Court: “Driving Carefully,” “Probably an Indian” Not Probable Cause for Stop

March 2013

  1. TSA: Terrorist Source of Amusement
  2. What’s the Point of Being a Polo Tycoon If You Can’t Adopt Your Girlfriend?
  3. Official State Crap: Arizona
  4. Lowering the Bar in Chicago
  5. Triangular Treats Banned Due to Risk of Sharp Corners
  6. Assorted Stupidity #50
  7. Larry Craig: Legal Fees for Solicitation Defense Related to “Official Senate Duties”
  8. “Mr. Burns” Presides Over Trial of “Bart Simpson”
  9. Official State Crap: Alaska
  10. Saudis May End Beheadings; Said to Be Short on Swordsmen
  11. Skull Reaper Getting Hassled by Rest of City Council
  12. Official State Crap: Alabama
  13. Do the Refs Have a Signal for the “Shorts-Holding” Penalty?
  14. ALTHOUGH THE TSA’S PANTS-BOMB DETECTION RATE LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED
  15. OOH, LOOK WHAT THE HIGHLY COMPETENT TSA GENIUSES FOUND!
  16. You Know, It Just Sends the Wrong Message When You Tase the Statue of Liberty
  17. Still Not Working: Fake Kidnapping to Avoid Wrath of Girlfriend
  18. DWI Lawyer Marketing Fail or Marketing Genius?
  19. “That May Sound Sexist,” Says Guy Who Won’t Hire Women
  20. When Questions From the Jury Are a Bad Sign
  21. You Are Slightly Safer From Drones Today
  22. NOTE: Do Not Kill Yeti Except in Self-Defense
  23. Good Reason to Kill #30: Wouldn’t Honor Your Dollar-Off Coupon
  24. Can the President Kill a U.S. Citizen in the U.S. Without Trial? Attorney General Says Yes
  25. WWII Legal Ad Compared Clients to Nazis
  26. UPDATE II: School Offers Counseling for Students Troubled by Pastry-Gun Incident
  27. UPDATE: Authorities Say Pastry Weapon Used in School Non-Shooting Was a Danish
  28. School Gun Incident Ends Peacefully Because It Was a Gun That a 7-Year-Old Made Out of Pastry Are You Kidding Me

February 2013

  1. TIP: Hard to Argue Ineffective Assistance of Counsel If You Represented Yourself
  2. Pencils Down! Bar License Denied for Writing After Time Was Called
  3. Penalty for BlackBerry Use in Conclave Really Could Be Excommunication
  4. What Changes Will the Pope Make to the Conclave Rules?
  5. No Damages for Embarrassment of Owning Three-Legged Dog
  6. Witness in Tree Corroborates Story
  7. Brief on Constitutional Issue Fails to Cite Constitution
  8. Patent No. 8,246,454: Say “McDonald’s” to Make It Stop
  9. Witness: “I Bite Him. Bad Man. He Tasty.”
  10. Mississippi Finishes Up the Paperwork on 13th Amendment
  11. City Workers Paint Handicap Space Around Car, Then Tow It
  12. Australian Experts Report First Known Quintuple Negative
  13. Client: Attorney Gave Me Bad Advice, Tried to Kill Me
  14. A Couple Reasons for Concern About Arizona’s School-Protection Posses
  15. Chubby Checker Suing Over “The Chubby Checker”
  16. Can the Pope Legally Resign?
  17. Why Donald Trump Is Wrong (This Time)
  18. Mullets Sentenced for Beard Crimes
  19. How to Start a Brief
  20. “Aggressive Pizza-Stealing Dog” Makes Bail
  21. TIP: Middle Finger to Judge Probably Contempt of Court
  22. The Drone Memo: More Comedy About the Death of Freedom
  23. Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Dude Saves Lady From Fake Jesus
  24. Court Rules Icelandic “Girl” Can Use Her Own Name
  25. Lawyer Analyzes Hobbit’s Contract
  26. Geraldo “Truly Contemplating” Senate Run

January 2013

  1. It’s the Old Wealthy-Fisherman-Trying-on-a-Rolex Scam Again
  2. Assorted Stupidity #48
  3. Russian Judge Snoozes on the Bench (and on Video)
  4. PRESIDENT OBAMA ARRESTED IN CONNECTICUT
  5. UPDATE: Justice Thomas’s Full Joke Revealed
  6. Fighters Intercept Airliner After Report of Sleepy Terrorist
  7. Bad Disguise #7: Bucket on Head
  8. Bad News for Dog-Flinging Mascots
  9. “Everybody Here Is ‘Oh My Gosh, You Got a Box of Heads'”
  10. JUSTICE THOMAS SPEAKS DURING ORAL ARGUMENT [Updated With Actual Words]
  11. U.S. Pat. No. 430,388: The Crooked Baseball Bat
  12. Lawyer Offers Dream Job: You Pay to Watch Him Work
  13. What Do You Call An Album Released Solely to Extend Copyright Protection?
  14. Scooby Doo, Where Are You? More Importantly, Where Are Your Pants?
  15. Gang of Smurfs Facing Assault Charges
  16. UPDATE: No, You Can’t Carpool With a Corporation
  17. Can You Carpool With a Corporation?
  18. Hipster Infestation Not “Emergency,” Say Police
  19. One-Armed Man Arrested for Clapping
  20. Officially Fun
  21. Tigger Acquitted

2012 316

December 2012

  1. Dramatic Bomb Scare Probably Ends Uneventfully
  2. DUI: Christmas Float
  3. Checking Him Twice
  4. Official Homeland Security Advice: Run & Hide
  5. Trademark Denied Due to Scandalous Implication of Rooster Lollipop
  6. Three Arrested in Connection With Maple-Syrup Heist
  7. Running in High Heels Was Probably Enough to Defeat This Workers’ Comp Claim
  8. Ukraine’s Parliament Brawling Again
  9. Indiana Jones and the Bogus Lawsuit
  10. Threatening Snowglobe Administration Lifts Some Restrictions
  11. How to Finally Get Some Work Done: Kidnap a Handyman
  12. If I Am Captured, This Blog Will Continue
  13. “A Rhesus Monkey Could Have Beaten Orly Taitz”
  14. Assorted Stupidity #46
  15. Man Charged With Aggravated Weirdness
  16. “Naked Rambler” Insists on Rambling Naked

November 2012

  1. ABA Journal Blawg 100
  2. Utility Pole in Middle of Road Is “Unacceptable,” Spokesman Admits
  3. Defendant Seeks New Trial Based on Ineffective Assistance of Somebody Else’s Counsel
  4. UPDATE: Manatee Rider Arrested
  5. Police Say Man Who Pulled Gun on Black Friday Line-Cutter Was Within His Rights
  6. Another Thing You Can’t (Legally) Drive Drunk: Wheelchair
  7. San Francisco Passes Weiner Proposal
  8. If You’re Greek, Someone Probably Just Stole Your Identity
  9. Governor Says He Didn’t Know About Safety Chief’s Driving Record (Which Wasn’t Good)
  10. These Are Their Data: How Every Law & Order Episode Ended
  11. Twiggs County Landgrabber Loses, Must Pay $100K in Fees
  12. If I Were Your Lawyer I’d Tell You Not to Brag About Your Crimes on the Air
  13. Good Reason to Kill #29: Didn’t Vote
  14. Counter-Petition Asks to Deport People Who Signed Other Petitions
  15. Texas Votes to Secede
  16. “I Am Not Allowed Moisturizer,” Complains Mass Murderer
  17. “Penis Graffiti”: More Than Just a Great Name for a Band
  18. Jet Skier Who “Breached” JFK Security Pleads Guilty to Trespassing
  19. Please Don’t Text While Skiing
  20. Two Charged With Halloween Robbery; Fairy Still at Large
  21. Woman Arrested for Voting
  22. State Supreme Court Rules on Fence Case
  23. TIP: Beating Client With a Baseball Bat Almost Certainly Violates Ethics Rules

October 2012

  1. Assorted Halloweenish Items
  2. Costa Concordia’s Captain Sues for Wrongful Termination
  3. “A Real Snor’easter”: The Best Supreme Court Review There Is
  4. UPDATE: More on Your Freedom to Tebow
  5. UPDATE: Birthers’ Record Is Worse Than I Thought
  6. Man Charged Again With Faking Disability to Get Diaper Changed
  7. Divided Court Rules 4-3 That Lap Dances Are Not “Artistic”
  8. Tebow Trademarks “Tebowing”?
  9. UPDATE: Hemingway’s Six-Toed Cats Remain
  10. NOTE TO SELF: Rob Only Banks Where They Don’t Know You by Name
  11. Seismologists Convicted of Not Predicting Earthquake
  12. There She Blows! ‘Tis the Contract for Moby Dick!
  13. Bad Disguise #6: Amateurishly Bandaged Accident Victim
  14. No-Fly List Screwup Strands Navy Officer’s Husband on Pacific Island
  15. No Calaboose Here
  16. Good Reason to Kill #28: Alanis Morrisette
  17. Orly Taitz Now 0-158?
  18. City Pays Protection Money to Stop Serial Litigant
  19. It Was the Curb’s Fault [Updated]
  20. Berkeley Boys Busted for Bird Beheading [Updated]
  21. Casey Anthony Sued for $3 Billion by … Someone
  22. Man Claims Mullet Discrimination
  23. Presumably Felonious Lawyer Makes Terrible Statistical Argument
  24. Assorted Stupidity #45
  25. Law Firm Will Vote One Candidate Off the Island Each Day
  26. Government to Argue That Detention for Carrying Arabic Flashcards Was Justified
  27. Texas Settles With Previously Dead Voters
  28. Two (More) Reasons Not to Bring Drugs to Court
  29. Please Do Not Ride the Manatees
  30. BREAKING: MAPLE SYRUP FOUND
  31. RECALL NOTICE: “Mojo Nights,” “Mojo Nights for Her” [Updated]
  32. The Casebook You’ve Always Wanted—Only Cases Involving Zombies
  33. Orly Taitz Is Trying to Sue Me, I Think
  34. Fire Chief: No One Will Be Prosecuted for Drawing the Mustache on My Picture
  35. State’s Chemist Admits “Testing” Drug Samples by Looking at Them [Updated]

September 2012

  1. GOOD IDEA: Test Police Response Time by Walking Around With an RPG
  2. Insane Clown Posse Sues FBI
  3. No RUI Charge for Florida Drunkard
  4. Justin Bieber Wins First Round Against “Joustin’ Beaver”
  5. Ecce las Velas (Behold the Candles)
  6. Government Report on Reports About Reports Recommends Another Report
  7. Ecce Abogado (Behold the Lawyer)
  8. Good Reason to Kill #27: Gangnam Style
  9. Further Analysis Regarding RUI (Riding Under the Influence)
  10. Mullet Guilty in Beard Case
  11. “We’re Not Dead,” Say Texas Voters Informed They Were Dead
  12. Don’t Ride Drunk in Kentucky
  13. CHICAGO: Candidate Indicted for Bribery Is Leading by 40 Points
  14. Other Judge Dissents Partly Because Defense Lawyer “Drank a Quart of Vodka Every Night”
  15. Judge Concurs to Say Majority Opinion Is Too Damn Long
  16. “I Regret That I Have But One Nose to Give,” Says Lawyer Who Was Punched in It
  17. Yaskout Yaskout Col. Sanders
  18. Who Stole the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve? And How?
  19. DOJ: Opponent’s Use of 12-Point Font “Prejudices the United States”
  20. Joe Francis Only Human “Startled” by $40 Million Verdict Against Him
  21. “One Oddity of the Current Legal Situation”
  22. Second Man Beaten With Own Leg by Leg-Wielding Girlfriend
  23. A List of Legitimate Tax Deductions to Which Playboy Bunnies Are Entitled
  24. Advice to Aspiring Carjackers: Learn to Drive a Stick
  25. There Is No Klingon Word for Deference
  26. UPDATE: US Air Bomb Hoax Proves Even Stupider Than Imagined
  27. Wells Fargo Fires Man for Stealing a Dime 49 Years Ago
  28. US Air Bomb Hoax Involves Lots of Stupidity All Around
  29. ABA Journal Taking Blog Nominations Again
  30. All Briefs Should Now Be in Comic-Book Form
  31. Polar Bears Busted
  32. The Two-Million-Dollar Moon
  33. Drive-By Tebowing Reported in Pennsylvania
  34. Study for the MPRE by Watching this Music Video, Baby

August 2012

  1. Recusal Motion Cites Girl-Scout-Cookie Purchase
  2. Warning: Open Window + Gravity = Bad
  3. Sherman Hemsley Still on Ice Due to Will Contest
  4. “Esquire” Could Mean Lots of Things, Says Guy Not Licensed to Practice Law
  5. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #9: Leave Your Vote With the Foreman and Go to Cancún [Updated]
  6. Reminder: Aspiring Lawyers Should Not Engage in Terrorism
  7. Second “Duct Tape Bandit” Seems to Have Learned From the First
  8. Assorted Stupidity #43
  9. Twiggs County Land-Grab Update
  10. “If This Weren’t So Tragic, It’d Be Comical,” Says Clown
  11. “Darwin Made It Up,” Says Unevolved Representative
  12. “Your Honor, First of All, I’m Not Smoking Crack”
  13. Insane Clown Posse, Sounding Pretty Sane
  14. Hi, I Own Your Land Although I Have No Evidence of That
  15. Wexler: Scalia Got the Most Laughs Again This Year
  16. Legal Action Announced at Gathering of the Juggalos
  17. $100 Million Security System Breached by Drunken Jet Skier
  18. Patent No. 5,443,036: Method of Exercising a Cat
  19. Airline Punished for Hiring Women to Dance to Banana Song
  20. Madison Police Blotter: Banjo Attack
  21. Disabled Spectator Arrested for Not Visibly Enjoying Olympic Event [Updated]
  22. Don’t Bring a Knife to a Beer Fight
  23. An Outstanding Deposition Performance by Wesley Snipes
  24. Assorted Stupidity #42
  25. Some Problems Inherent In Trying to Sell a Counterfeiting Machine
  26. Alaska Man Charged With Floating Under the Influence
  27. TIP: Get Legal Advice Before Turning Yourself In
  28. Man Who Lost Hand to Gator Is Charged With Unlawful Feeding

July 2012

  1. “Politics is Weird. And Creepy.”
  2. Police: Complaining About Mug Shot Quality Is Improper Use of 911
  3. Intelligence Community Agrees to Let Senator Mention It Broke the Law
  4. Professor: Maybe Secret Legal Memos Are Secret Because They Suck
  5. The Guardian(s): Lawyers Shadowed Olympic Torch “Every Step of the Way”
  6. Good Reason to Kill #26: Plaid Jacket
  7. Hooray for Jack Daniels (and Its Lawyers)
  8. Goat Man Mystery Solved!
  9. You People Quit Bothering Goat Man
  10. French Demand Compensation for Plantagenet Murder
  11. Legislator Upset That Muslims Want to Use School-Voucher Program Too
  12. Kansas City Police End Standoff With Naked Archer
  13. Decent Exposure: Guy Who Stripped Naked to Protest TSA Is Found Not Guilty
  14. Good Reason to Kill #25: Bought the Wrong Kind of Beer
  15. Order Overruling Objection to Motion Filed About Four Minutes Late
  16. Low-Flying Pilot Ventilates Brazilian Supreme Court
  17. Plaintiff: Justin Bieber Blasted Me With His Gondola-Based Sonic Ray Machine
  18. Assorted Stupidity #41
  19. Studio Sues to Stop “Raging Bull 2”
  20. The Money FunnyJunk.com Isn’t Getting
  21. Ted Nugent’s Drummer Gets DUI in Stolen Golf Cart
  22. Fire in the Hole! Again!
  23. Plaintiff Alleges He Caught Herman Cain With Kim Kardashian
  24. How South Korean Legislators Spend Their Time When Not Brawling
  25. Carreon v. The Oatmeal: Plaintiff Continues to Dig [Updated]
  26. No, I Was Just Trying to Fix the Door, Says Burglar Stuck Under It
  27. Good Reason to Kill #24: Pancake Battery

June 2012

  1. Judge Won’t Continue Trial So Attorney Can Enter Hemingway Look-Alike Contest
  2. Belly Dancers Fail to Sway Fifth Vote on Health Care
  3. Forty Years Later, John Dean Still Can’t Escape Watergate
  4. TSA Manages to Reach a New Low
  5. Carreon Complaint Amended, Still Odd
  6. Guy Impersonating Police Officer Pulls Over Guy Who Isn’t
  7. NSA: Can’t Tell You Who We Spy On; That Would Violate Their Privacy
  8. Carreon v. The Oatmeal : Legal Ethics, or Lack Thereof?
  9. People Who Really Need to Stop Talking: Joe Amendola
  10. People Who Need to Stop Talking: Gloria Allred
  11. We Have That Bathroom Problem Again
  12. Carreon v. The Oatmeal [Updated]
  13. The Guy Continues to Mess With The Oatmeal
  14. Some Still Unclear on Definition of “Emergency”
  15. People Who Should Stop Talking: Joe Amendola
  16. Don’t Mess With The Oatmeal
  17. This Particular Circus Act Was Not a Crowd-Pleaser
  18. OMG, “SNF” Is BS, LHS Tells NARUC and DOE
  19. Courtney Royal, Vampsh Black Sheep League of Doom Gardamun Family Circle Master Vampire High Priest
  20. Fleeing Customer Takes Bank Robbers’ Getaway Car
  21. Ambulance Chase Declared Big Success
  22. ORLY TAITZ CALLED ME AN ATTACK DOG IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS
  23. Nutballs on the California Ballot (or, the Furtwängler Principle)
  24. “Let My People Go!”
  25. Serving “Genital-Tainted Sandwich” Was Within Scope of Employment, Argues Employee
  26. Assorted Stupidity #39
  27. Joe Francis Is Following Me [Updated]

May 2012

  1. BREAKING: John Edwards Found Creepy Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
  2. Don’t Forget to Sign Up for the “Do Not Kill” List
  3. Another Incident of Taco-Related Violence
  4. Good Reason to Kill #23: Canceled His Taco Order
  5. Tips on Wearing the Clothes You Just Stole from Next Door
  6. Lawyer’s Defective-Breakfast Suit Dismissed
  7. Edwards Jury Asks for “the Haircut Letter”
  8. Does Congress Need to Be Held Back a Grade?
  9. Hawaii’s Now Asking Birthers to Prove Who They Are
  10. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
  11. You Know, Some Appeals Really Aren’t “Worth a Shot”
  12. TSA Gropes Another Senior Citizen (Specifically, Henry Kissinger)
  13. Ron Paul: the Video Game
  14. Alleged Wallaby Harborer Gets Probation
  15. Things You Might Like to Buy In Which I Have No Financial Stake Whatsoever
  16. Assorted Stupidity #38
  17. Never Grip a Tent in a Windstorm
  18. Phoenix Jones Apparently Has a Nemesis
  19. Please Don’t Hurt Nessie, Either
  20. Note: In Texas, Bigfoot Is Fair Game
  21. It’s Not the Droids We’re Looking For, Actually
  22. Would the Last Civil Right in America Please Remember to Close the Door on Its Way Out?
  23. If a Tree Falls in the Forest ….
  24. Unpowered Superheroes in the News [Updated]

April 2012

  1. Fourth Lawyer Not Yet Stabbed With Pencil in Trial of Man Who Stabbed Three Lawyers With a Pencil
  2. Potential Terrorist Baby Still at Large
  3. BREAKING: “Unscreened Baby” May Be on the Loose at Newark Airport
  4. Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney: the Musical
  5. Also, Ted Nugent Shot a Bear
  6. TSA: Too Sad for an Acronym
  7. TSA: Tiny-Suspect Assaulters
  8. TSA: Terrorizing Seniors in America
  9. The District Attorney and the Alien
  10. Last Call in the House of Commons?
  11. You + Crime + Police Car + Facebook = Arrest
  12. TSA: Wants to See You Naked, Complains When You Get That Way
  13. Plaintiff: This Soap Did Not Attract Women as Promised
  14. How Physicists Beat Traffic Tickets
  15. Yet Another Gladiator Fight at the Colosseum
  16. Rome Still Having Trouble With Gladiators
  17. Just Say No to Government Trouser Invasion [Updated]
  18. Security Cam Records Burglar’s “Signature Dance Moves”
  19. Just Two Weeks Until Lawyers’ Time-Travel Seminar [Updated]
  20. Should This Warning Be on Every Product? [Updated]
  21. Sometimes It Takes Money to Make Money (From Insurance Fraud)
  22. Pot Delivery Guy Reports Ninja Attack
  23. Running
  24. Invisible Man Fails to Appear
  25. Good Reason to Kill #22: Disrespected Loretta Lynn

March 2012

  1. Two More Plaintiffs Are Mad at Siri Now
  2. Lawsuit Claims Siri Doesn’t Know What She’s Talking About
  3. Robin Hood v. the Banking Industry
  4. Assorted Stupidity #36
  5. Buddy Trahan Needs a Ride
  6. The Odd Law Project Continues
  7. Lawsuit Blames Apple’s Glass Doors for Plaintiff’s Broken Nose
  8. Bad Shirt for a Burglary
  9. UPDATED: Court Declares Brewing Beer an “Essential Service”
  10. One Hearing, Nine Important Tips
  11. Emergence of an Artist (from a Lawyer)
  12. Man Ticketed After Cat Won’t Jog
  13. “Everything That Guy Just Said Is Bullshit”: A Review of My Cousin Vinny
  14. March Madness Kicks Off With Ear-Biting Incident
  15. An Interview With That One Guy in My Cousin Vinny
  16. UPDATED: Chick-Fil-A Claims Public Likely to Confuse Vegetable With Chicken
  17. Hello! You’ve Been Targeted for Assassination!
  18. Amish on the Loose
  19. It’s My Cousin Vinny Week at Abnormal Use
  20. Missouri to Add Bust of Rush Limbaugh to the “Hall of Famous Missourians”
  21. Note: Add “Judge’s Nameplate” to List of Things Not to Steal
  22. Non-Standard Explanation Offered for Bugging Wife’s Bedroom
  23. FBI Counter-Terror Agent: TSA’s Incompetence “Frightens Me”
  24. UPDATED: Soccer Player Blames the Baptists for Ruining His Career
  25. AG Sort of Explains When and Why the President Could Drop a Bomb on You
  26. Drunken Zamboni Driver Mocked by Children
  27. Cause of Death: Clowning Around
  28. Assorted Stupidity #35

February 2012

  1. Pilots: Please Enunciate When Saying “There’s a Mom on Board”
  2. UPDATE: Wyoming No Longer Considering Buying an Aircraft Carrier
  3. Wyoming to Consider Buying an Aircraft Carrier
  4. Warranty Coverage for Space-Invasion Damage Now Unclear
  5. Feds Guilty of Backwards-Correct-Syntaxing-Modification-Fraud, Plaintiff Alleges
  6. Norwegian Legal Update
  7. Defense Lawyer Objects to Testimony of Genie Expert
  8. Assorted Stupidity #34 [Updated]
  9. White House Party Crashers Now Suing Each Other
  10. Nor Can the Court Order Specific Performance
  11. The Odd Clauses : All About the Constitution’s “Crazy Uncles”
  12. Former Law Students Claim Their Bad Grades Were “Arbitrary and Capricious”
  13. A Brief Lesson on the Law of Design Defect
  14. Strange Doings in Colorado
  15. Justice Sotomayor Resolves Muppet Dispute
  16. Good Reason to Kill #21: Wanted to Play Through
  17. Cross That One Off the List
  18. Jokes in the Profession
  19. Bad Disguise #5: Shorts on Head
  20. Further Analysis of the Bottle-Rocket Case
  21. Lawsuit: Defendant Breached a Duty Not to Shoot Bottle Rockets Out of His Anus
  22. The TSA Can’t Tell an Insulin Pump From a Gun
  23. Assorted Stupidity #33
  24. Second Zamboni DWI Reported
  25. The Freedom of (Ridiculous) Information Act at Work

January 2012

  1. Letters of Note: To My Old Master
  2. Florida Man Calls for Backup in TV Gunfight
  3. Quail Murderer Encourages Feeding Human Fetuses to Livestock
  4. Inmate Sues Himself for Violating His Civil Rights
  5. Attorney Sues Himself
  6. Bill Would Ban Using Human Fetuses in Food, Just in Case Anybody’s Thinking of Doing That
  7. Penguin Defecates in Kentucky Legislature
  8. Balloon Stolen
  9. Further Pain on Appeal for Gun-Safety Instructor Who Shot Himself
  10. If Pajamas Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Wear Pajamas
  11. News Team Not Allowed to Film in Courtroom; Turns to Puppetry Instead
  12. Please Report Me If I Am Missing. Thank You.
  13. Have You Been Offered a Tortoise in Unusual Circumstances?
  14. “Junior TSA Officer” Badge Is Creepy, Fraudulent
  15. How to Comply With a Cease-and-Desist Letter But Still Win
  16. Man Arrested After Stuffed-Monkey Assault
  17. Georgia Bill Would Require Drug-Testing for State Legislators
  18. Most Popular Posts of 2011
  19. Blog Voted “Most Fun,” Claims Lawyer
  20. Good Reason to Kill #20: Didn’t Know Beyonce and Jay-Z Are Married
  21. NOTE: Cops Unimpressed by Claim of High Google PageRank
  22. Guys, No Dealing Drugs at the Office—I’m Trying to Run a Ponzi Scheme Here
  23. Feinstein Bill a Great Step Forward for the Illusion of Civil Rights
  24. Honorable Mentions 2011

2011 370

December 2011

  1. Governor Praises Legislature for Mountain-Lion-Stuffing Bill
  2. Muslim Police Break Up Christian Broomstick Fight in Bethlehem
  3. Auto Insurer Won’t Cover Injury Caused by Dead Driver
  4. Amazon.com Now Thinks I Want to Buy a Snow-Cone Machine
  5. Man Calls 911 to Report Hookers’ Breach of Contract
  6. Happy Legal Holidays
  7. Manitowoc Should Be Ashamed of This Planking Prosecution
  8. For Christmas, Your Government Will Explain Why It’s Legal to Kill You
  9. The Great Totem Pole Caper
  10. Things You Can’t Do in a Royal Park
  11. If We Don’t Deploy Portable Ice-Shaving Machines, The Terrorists Win
  12. Judges Still Not Amused by Identical-Twin Hijinks [Updated]
  13. Dear Jerry Sandusky’s Lawyers: Please Stop Talking
  14. MP Apologizes for “Any Offense Caused” by Nazi-Themed Bachelor Party
  15. Lawyer Facing Contempt for Insulting Judge Decides to Double Down
  16. Honey Badger Do Care About Eligibility
  17. Anybody Else Willing to Represent Jerry Sandusky?
  18. NOTE: “Catholic Beast” Is Not a Legal Term of Art
  19. Oh, Those Homeland Security Snow-Cone Machines Were Also Over-Priced
  20. Man Accused of Weasel-Related Assault is Acquitted
  21. Today in Pro Se Litigation
  22. The Homeland Security Snow-Cone Machine
  23. Whoa, Did Something Die in Here? Oh, It Was Freedom
  24. Can You Sue Somebody for Forcing You to Go to Law School?
  25. Assorted Stupidity #32
  26. Drug-Addled ABA Journal Editors Name LTB to Blawg 100 List
  27. Anti-Piracy Anthem Allegedly Pirated
  28. School Partially Lifts Ban on Playing With Balls
  29. One-Year Suspension for Lawyer Who Sought “Secretary With Benefits”

November 2011

  1. No Winner in Tomahawk-Speargun Battle
  2. Pope Sued
  3. Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped
  4. Note: Before Attaching Ankle Monitor, Make Sure Leg Is Real
  5. A Few Things I’m Thankful For
  6. Tear-Gas Filibuster Fails in South Korea
  7. Playground Covered in Pillows for Safety Reasons
  8. Swiss Supreme Court Upholds Ban on Nude Hiking
  9. ALERT: Pakistan Declares the Phrase “Monkey Crotch” Illegal in Text Messages
  10. Kellogg Settles “Toucan Sam” Dispute With Archaeologists
  11. City Makes Public Statement Regarding the Sugar Plum Fairy
  12. Sugar Plum Fairy Fired for Cursing During Drug Test
  13. Illinois Legislature Overrides Veto, Legalizes Roadkill Collection
  14. New Web Series “The Bottom Rung”: Life of a Document Reviewer
  15. Filmmaker Fined for Movie Poster Showing “Reckless Driving”
  16. Assorted Stupidity #31
  17. Finally, the Movie Version of that Japanese Lawyer Video Game
  18. Undercover-Barber Operation Fails Due to Bad Barbering
  19. Three More Reasons Not to Call 911
  20. Accused Celebrity Smuggler Cleared After 25 “Closely Monitored” Bowel Movements
  21. How You Know When Your Supreme Court Argument Is Going Poorly
  22. Police Shoot Photographer With Rubber Bullet, Just For Fun
  23. Mimes Deployed
  24. Lawsuit Demands $50K to “Recreate” Wedding, Retake Pictures
  25. Man Who Stabbed His First Two Lawyers With a Pencil Stabs Another Lawyer With a Pencil
  26. Assorted Stupidity #30
  27. Let’s All Sue Kim Kardashian

October 2011

  1. How Not to Respond to an Allegation
  2. Unhappy Halloween, Firm That Mocked Homeless People
  3. Shape-Shifting Donkey Prostitute Strikes Again
  4. Egyptians March in Support of Oppressed People of Oakland
  5. Good Reason to Kill #19: Cheated at Monopoly [Updated]
  6. Washington Horn-Honker Wins First Amendment Challenge
  7. In Canada It Is Illegal to Alarm the Queen
  8. Australians: Insult Minister O’Brien Now While It’s Still Legal
  9. Court: Warrantless Search Can’t Be Justified by Smell Alone
  10. Adult Baby Cleared of Social Security Fraud
  11. The Armadillo Codes
  12. Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Succeeds!
  13. Judge: Feds Don’t Have to Pay for Wrecked Ferrari
  14. Karaoke-Triggered Assault Sends Man Through Plate-Glass Window
  15. A Pistol in the Pants Can Lead to Trouble
  16. Cupcake Batterer Charged with Domestic Violence
  17. Gaga Defeats Goo Goo
  18. Escape Unpleasant Assignments With This Office Ejection Seat
  19. Kansas Budget Battle Says “OK!” to Domestic Violence
  20. Family Lost in Corn Maze Calls 911
  21. They Made Apollo 11 Go Through Customs
  22. The Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Is Still Not Working
  23. How Do You Plead? Yadda Yadda Yadda.
  24. Case Dismissed, Says Judge Who Didn’t Want to Catch the Flu
  25. Hooters Suing Twin Peaks, Which Previously Sued Grand Tetons
  26. Assorted Stupidity #29 [Updated]
  27. How to Get Back at Your Ex: First, Kill a Bear
  28. Police Skeptical of Suspect’s Claim to Be Invisible

September 2011

  1. Saudi King Cancels Whipping of Female Driver
  2. California Authorities Still Puzzled by Mystery Enema
  3. Good Reason to Kill #2 (Again): Yahtzee Dispute
  4. New Jersey Governor Vetoes “Snooki Subsidy”
  5. Shoe Applied to Witness
  6. “This Is Not a Joke Patent,” Declares Patent for Method of Making a Snowman
  7. Trending at the White House Petition Site: Legalize Pot, Abolish the TSA, Admit Alien Contact
  8. Assorted Stupidity #28
  9. Further Reactions to the Turtle Code Controversy
  10. TIP: Courts Frown on Lawyer “Gibberish”
  11. Greased-Pig Contests Illegal in Minnesota
  12. Man Demands Hot Sauce at Gunpoint
  13. Now This: TSA Searches Woman’s Afro
  14. F-16s Scrambled Due to Inappropriate Bathroom Use
  15. Man Changes Name to “Led Zeppelin II”
  16. Italy Actually Going Through With Manslaughter Trial of Seismologists
  17. Ruth, Nino, and the Elephant
  18. Patent No. 7,117,611: The Chair That Dries Your Business
  19. Assorted Stupidity #27
  20. More on the Risk of Death by Turtle
  21. Injury Code W59.22XA: Struck by Turtle
  22. Woman Won’t Have to Pay for Her Own Cavity Search
  23. Jail Time for Overdue Library Books
  24. Pantless Objection to Topless Protest
  25. Judge Invites Bickering Attorneys to “Kindergarten Party”
  26. Convicted Killer Headed Back to Law School
  27. Assorted Stupidity #26

August 2011

  1. San Francisco Manages to Spend $700K for a Wheelchair Ramp
  2. Plaintiff Who Claims to Have End-Stage Emphysema Is Caught Hiking
  3. Dismissal of “Bad Mothering” Lawsuit Affirmed
  4. Attorney’s Ad Reminds Potential Clients He Is Alive
  5. Joe Francis Arrested Yet Again
  6. BREAKING: Libyan Rebels Have Seized Qaddafi’s Hat
  7. Cereal Maker Claims Non-Profit’s Bird Looks Too Much Like Toucan Sam
  8. Robber Armed With Tree Branch Is Unsuccessful
  9. Mistrial Results From Juror’s Desire to Punch Defense Attorney
  10. Heroic Lifeguard Saves Beachgoers From Having to See Him in a Speedo
  11. In Which a “Superior Legal Mind” Is Confused With Arrogance
  12. The Bronx Effect?
  13. Another Motorized-Beer-Cooler DUI
  14. Man Gives Ex-Wife a Boulder for Her Birthday
  15. CBS Settles Naked-Dinner-Guest Allegations Against Dr. Phil
  16. Court: No, One Person Can’t Be a “Partnership”
  17. Movie Bombs Early When Police Blow Up Script
  18. Evidence You Have Too Much Money
  19. Bad News for Those in Quest of Roadkill
  20. Clinton’s Stature Called Into Question by New York Times
  21. Assorted Stupidity #25
  22. If You Go to Sleep in One of These, Maybe It’d Be Better Not to Wake Up?
  23. Arizona Man Sentenced to 90 Days in Jail for Car Murder
  24. German Police: Body Scanners Are Useless
  25. Law Banning Associations May Violate Right to Freedom of Association
  26. Today’s Puzzler
  27. How Long Can Your Lawyer Nap Before It’s “Ineffective Assistance of Counsel”?
  28. Three Follow-Ups
  29. Give Back Davy Crockett’s Marriage License, Court Demands
  30. News of Settlement Makes Court “Happier Than a Tick on a Fat Dog”

July 2011

  1. One Way to Make Litigation Attractive
  2. Think the Bar Exam Was Tough? Were You in Labor When You Took It?
  3. Warren Jeffs Fires Defense Team, Now Represented by God
  4. Fireworks Company Must Pay Man Burned During Traditional Sparking-Donkey Dance
  5. Assorted Stupidity #24
  6. Saruman McCain Disses “Tea Party Hobbits” Opposing Debt Deal
  7. Bad Law Book Titles No. 3
  8. BIDDING ON THE CASEY ANTHONY HEAD HAS CLOSED
  9. CASEY ANTHONY LATEX RUBBER MASK FOR SALE [Updated]
  10. Correction: Police Can Ask Beavers for Identification
  11. Bad Law Book Titles #2
  12. Mystery Man Identified
  13. Study Shows Broken Bottles Can Be Used to Stab People
  14. Do You Know This Man? He Probably Hopes Not [Updated]
  15. Judge: First Amendment Doesn’t Guarantee Freedom to Bark
  16. Bad Law Book Titles #1
  17. Plaintiff Compares Former Boss to Sauron, Self to Baggins
  18. Warning: Visitors May Be Eaten
  19. Assorted Stupidity #23
  20. Sheriff’s Department Doesn’t Think “Yakety Sax” Video of Escape Attempt Is Funny
  21. Illinois Forest Jugglers Rejoice
  22. Alcohol May Have Played a Role In Alligator Theft, Police Say
  23. DOJ Says It Will Not Seek Extradition of Randy Quaid
  24. Candidate: We Must Ban This Religion to Protect Freedom of Religion
  25. Court Rules Punch to the Groin Was No “Accident”
  26. New Documentary to Tell Story of Dog-Cloning Mormon-Raper
  27. TSA Officer Learns How It Feels to Be Groped
  28. TSA Finds Something
  29. Fifth Circuit Smacks Down Disgruntled-Cheerleader-Mom Lawsuit
  30. No Jail Time for “Red Bull Killer”
  31. Label Puzzler: Original Recipe AND New Flavor?
  32. In Defense of Monkey Copyright [Updated]
  33. Battle Over Monkey Photos Begins
  34. Here’s Just How Dysfunctional Our Government Really Is
  35. Assorted Stupidity #22
  36. Your Head + Lincoln’s Body = Instant Credibility
  37. If You Left a Stun Gun on a JetBlue Flight Friday, the TSA Would Like to Speak With You
  38. “Caylee’s Law” Petition Amended to Avoid Con-Law Problem; Now Just a Bad Idea
  39. Plan to Reel in Extortion Money Fails
  40. TIP: Lock Up That Basket of Pocketknives If the Ex-Wife Might Drop By
  41. Number of Americans Demanding Unconstitutional “Caylee’s Law” Increasing All the Time [Updated]
  42. Legal Questions Raised by Success of Monkey Photographer
  43. If Your Doctor Prescribes Watermelon in a Hot Tub, Ask to See a License
  44. Report: Dog Said to Be Reincarnated Lawyer Will Not Be Stoned to Death
  45. Lawsuit Demands End to Use of Term “Inmate”
  46. Mark Twain’s Bra Patent
  47. This Service Needs to Be Tweaked
  48. Blagojevich’s Mouth Turned Against Him in Retrial, Jurors Say
  49. Assorted Stupidity #21

June 2011

  1. Saudi Creeps Arrest Female Drivers
  2. You Unsuccessfully Messed With the Zohan
  3. Captain Innocent Found Guilty
  4. You Know, Supreme Executive Power Doesn’t Derive From Some Farcical Aquatic Ceremony
  5. Magnetic Underpants Questioned
  6. Good Reason to Kill #18: Ate the Last Donut
  7. Expert Lap-Dance Testimony Fails to Persuade Court
  8. House Bravely Takes No Action at All on Libya
  9. Witch Who Said Our Laws Do Not Apply to Her Turns Out to Be Wrong
  10. George Orwell Is Coming to Get You Both
  11. Dallas Mavericks Move to Dismiss Case Alleging Mismanagement
  12. Troubling Questions Raised by Airline’s Inconsistent Approach to Pants
  13. Judge Buys Sleepwalking Defense to Assault Charges
  14. Overly Complicated Cheating Scam Fails Badly
  15. Assorted Stupidity #20
  16. Judge Dismisses Google-Walking-Directions Case
  17. Who Watches the Watchmen? [Updated]
  18. Opera Singer Acquitted of Tofu-Related Assault Charges
  19. Richard Dreyfuss Does a Dramatic Reading of the iTunes License Agreement
  20. Seeking Bipartisanship, Parliament Tries Animal Sacrifice
  21. Wrongful-Death Lawsuit Filed After Man Killed by Rooster
  22. Flight Diverted Due to Passenger Nudity
  23. Most of Newt Gingrich’s Campaign Staff Resigns
  24. Washington Man Accused of Weasel-Related Assault [Updated]
  25. Good Reason to Kill #17: Beer-Pong Dispute
  26. TSA Settles With Woman Whose Top Was Pulled Down
  27. Please Welcome Colonel Sanders
  28. Defendant’s Cross-Dressing Strategy Doesn’t Fool Reporters
  29. IHOP v. IHOP , Round 2
  30. Homeowners Foreclose on Bank
  31. Brits Hack al Qaeda, Replace Bomb Instructions With Cupcake Recipes
  32. Denny’s Lunar Connection?
  33. Feds Seize Alleged Moon Rock in California
  34. Warning: Do Not Jam Entire Hand Into ATM Slot
  35. Saudi Women Planning to Drive on June 17

May 2011

  1. Suspect’s Juggalo Status Unclear, Say Juggalo Experts
  2. Assorted Stupidity #19 [Updated]
  3. The Taco Bell Approach to Class-Action Defense
  4. Illegal Rafters Sentenced to Stand in Wading Pool
  5. Update on the “Buxom Woman” Dispute
  6. Man Reports Faucet Switched by Mysterious Faucet-Switcher
  7. Quentin Tarantino Settles Angry-Birds Case
  8. Motion to Exclude Large-Breasted Woman From Trial
  9. Plaintiff Seeks Freedom From Granfalloonery, Harassatoriness
  10. The End Is Nigh Again
  11. Roadkill-Scavenging Soon to Be Legal in Illinois
  12. “You Don’t Understand Torture,” Candidate Tells Torture Victim
  13. Law Blogger to Defamation Plaintiff: “Go Sh*t in a Hat” [Updated]
  14. Man Who Stabbed His Lawyer With a Pencil Stabs His New Lawyer With a Pencil
  15. Is America Ready for a President With a Mustache?
  16. Trump Says He Won’t Run; Nation’s Comedians Mourn
  17. Man Gets Workers’ Comp for Injury Sustained When Punching Customer
  18. Trump Files $100 Million Counterclaim in “Trump University” Lawsuit
  19. The HAZCOM Song
  20. TSA Says Baby-Frisking Justified
  21. If You See a Woman Wearing a Hat, Please Notify the Authorities
  22. Kansas City Ape Owners Must Pay for Rampage, Judge Rules
  23. Assorted Stupidity #18 [Updated]
  24. What the Billionaire-on-the-Street Thinks About Trump for President
  25. The Case of the Dangerous Dachshund
  26. In This Country We Would Simply Instruct the Witness Not to Answer
  27. UC Davis Law School State of Mind
  28. TIP: Prisoners Should Be Cuffed to Things That Do Not Move
  29. BREAKING: Bin Laden Caught After Tripping on Saggy Pants
  30. A Bin Laden Retrospective

April 2011

  1. Cow Steals Milk
  2. Texas Bill Would Legalize Noodling
  3. New Jersey Township Passes Chicken-Sex Rule
  4. Man Who Sued Parents for His Allowance Instead Gets 30 Days to Move Out [UPDATED]
  5. Assorted Stupidity #17
  6. The People Who Sued Themselves
  7. The Man Who Sued Himself
  8. Clown-Suited Blackmailer on a Tiny Bike Gets Prison
  9. Assorted Stupidity #16
  10. International Body Declares No-Wig Zone in the Netherlands
  11. Clap On, Clap Off, Case Dismissed
  12. New Orleans Docket: Wasp-Related Negligence
  13. We’ve Slashed Prices to Make Room for New Inventory! Say Somali Pirates
  14. Stealing a Judge’s Gavel. Really?
  15. A New Contender for Worst Legal Brief
  16. We Wouldn’t Be Much Worse Off, Either [UPDATED]
  17. At Long Last?
  18. TIP: Giving Birth Likely to Be Considered Good Reason for a Continuance
  19. Attempted Firebombers Thwarted by Window, Lamppost
  20. Florida Teen Claims Baggy Pants Saved Him From a ‘Gator
  21. Legislative Update!
  22. From the Docket: Mr. Potato Head
  23. Though in Contempt (and Contemptible), Joe Francis Still Wins
  24. Behold the Peeps Diorama Entries
  25. Man Charged With Wiretapping for Using Phone During Traffic Stop
  26. Tricky Dick: The Musical [Updated]
  27. Assorted Stupidity #15
  28. President Receives Transparency Award in Closed Meeting

March 2011

  1. UPDATE: Joe Francis No Longer Permitted to Represent Himself
  2. Thank You, Lord, for Letting Joe Francis Represent Himself at Trial
  3. A Brief Research Memo Concerning a Simulated Chicken Head
  4. Facebook: Bad News for Bigamists
  5. Teeth Are Not “Dangerous Weapons,” Says Oregon Court
  6. Woman Sues Adidas After Fall She Blames on Sticky Shoes
  7. Please, Lord, Let Joe Francis Represent Himself at Trial
  8. Follow-Up on the Great “Photocopy” Dispute
  9. “Burrito-Triggered Spree” Ends Peacefully After Three-Hour Standoff
  10. Charlie Sheen Not Winning! So Far
  11. Another Fake Air Marshal Nabbed by Real Ones
  12. Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew Is Running for Mayor of Miami
  13. Offices and What Not to Do in Them
  14. Moron Arrested
  15. Deposition Battle Over Definition of “Photocopy”
  16. Cleveland Browns Lawyer Letter Is Apparently Real
  17. TSA: Fourth Amendment = Terrorism
  18. Good Reason to Kill #16: Ate Popcorn Too Loudly During “Black Swan”
  19. Good Reason to Kill #15: Two Unauthorized Hot Dogs
  20. Good Reason to Kill #14: Wouldn’t Change the Channel to “American Idol”
  21. Florida Bill Would Make It Illegal to Take a Picture of a Farm
  22. Jury in Hot-Dog-Flinging Case Finds in Favor of Team
  23. New Jersey Considers Repeal of Ancient Laws Regarding Women
  24. Florida Man Sues Alleged Foot-Stealer
  25. Tip: No Stabbing Until Haircut’s Finished
  26. A Tort Causation Puzzler for You
  27. Reminder: What Happens in Vegas May Not Stay in Vegas
  28. A Comic-Book History of Comic-Book Lawsuits
  29. Free Advice: Service-Animal Claim Is Stronger If Animal Not Dressed as Pirate
  30. GWU Law Students’ Ode to the “Gunner”
  31. Insurer Sues FBI for Crashing Ferrari
  32. Illinois Golfer Not Liable for Head Shot
  33. Note: Just Because You Only Grabbed the Wheel Doesn’t Mean You Weren’t “Driving”
  34. Woman Argues Google Maps Was Her Personal Advisor

February 2011

  1. Fire in the Hole! More About Ear Candling
  2. Assorted Stupidity #14
  3. Judge Rules Pizza Slice Is a “Solid Object”
  4. “Aisle Hogs” Fight for Position at State of the Union
  5. In Defense of the Swingline 747
  6. “King of the World” Tased
  7. Prosecutors Taking a Second Look at the Red Bull Defense
  8. TIP: To Avoid Seat-Belt Ticket, Seat Belt Must Be Attached to Car
  9. “Twilight” Fan Admits She Lied About Vampire Attack
  10. Have You Been Injured by “Spider-Man: the Musical”? Call Now
  11. Happy Valentine’s Day?
  12. Billion-Year Contracts and Musical Chairs
  13. It’s Not Your Fault You Microwaved the Cat
  14. Court: Baseball Fan Did Not Assume Risk Associated With Hot Dog Toss
  15. Red Bull Is Part of Insanity Defense in Florida Case
  16. Good Reason to Kill #13: Disputed Your Cow-Milking Experience
  17. Man Loses Cockfight
  18. Video: Grandma Defeats Six Crooks With Handbag
  19. Alan Simpson on the Deficit: “Give Them the Green Weenie”
  20. UPDATE: City to Legitimize Mystery Stop Signs, Report Says
  21. Sarah Palin TM Having Trouble With Registration
  22. Iraqi Treasury Gets Partial Refund on Magic Wands
  23. Man Points Finger at Brain in Parking-Rage Incident
  24. Ninth Circuit Rules in Favor of the “Association of Irritated Residents”
  25. Immigration Officer Puts Wife on the No-Fly List
  26. Maine Bill Would Allow One-Armed Men to Use Switchblades

January 2011

  1. Airport Security Officials Successfully Disarm Toy Soldier
  2. Clown Suit
  3. Law School Websites: Girls Under Trees?
  4. Assorted Stupidity #12
  5. Filing Instructions Too Hard, Says Supreme Court Justice
  6. Court: No Cause of Action for Gun-Safety Instructor Who Shot Himself
  7. Have a Safe Workout
  8. “Radical Times Call for Radical Measures,” Says Lawyer Who Dropped His Pants
  9. Women’s Suffrage: a “Costly and Dangerous Experiment”?
  10. Additional Charges Filed in Chicken-Parts-in-Heating-Vent Case
  11. If You Don’t Pay This Tax, We’ll Kill This Dog
  12. Appellate Win for Women Who Say Dr. Phil Locked Them Up With a Naked Guy
  13. TSA Worker Gets Two Years for Planting Logic Bomb
  14. Man Claims Emotional Distress Due to Bird Insults
  15. Next Wave of Litigation: Ear Candling?
  16. New TSA Scanner Procedure Is Dumb in a New Way
  17. Tax Fight Escalates as Romanian Witches Turn to Cat Excrement
  18. Tips on Choosing a False Identity
  19. Good Reason to Kill #12: Tried to Hide His Facebook Profile
  20. Crocodile Dundee Planning to Sue Australia
  21. Since the Parties “Are Immune to Reason … I Have Tried Ridicule as a Last Resort” [UPDATED]
  22. Figure at Center of Spanish Corruption Trial Denies Having Muchisimo Dinero
  23. Someone Else Not to Friend on Facebook: Your Victim
  24. Don’t Be Mad, Y’all — Lawyer Mike Is Back!
  25. Scalia: Equal Protection for Ladies? Nobody Voted for That
  26. Malaysia: No Mocking the Sultan on Facebook
  27. Renewed Witch-Regulation Bill Passes in Romania

2010 355

December 2010

  1. Most-Viewed Stories of 2010
  2. Assorted Stupidity #11
  3. Video Appears to Undermine Football Fan’s Injury Claims
  4. Benny-Hill-Worthy Police Chase in Washington
  5. UPDATE: Santa Cleared in Providence Robbery
  6. Bad Santas Attack Swedish Royal Palace
  7. TSA Thwarts Frozen-Chicken Plot
  8. NY High Court: Shank Happens
  9. How the Great Kansas City Meerkat Caper Unraveled
  10. Scanners Successfully Locate Things for TSA to Steal, Not Much Else
  11. UPDATE: Kentucky Lawyers Still Not Allowed to Fight Duels
  12. Assorted Stupidity #10
  13. Facebook Page
  14. Law and the Multiverse
  15. “New-Car Fumes” May Have Contributed to Hit-and-Run, Expert Says
  16. A Festivus for the Rest of Us, or at Least for This Guy
  17. City Baffled by Hundreds of Mysterious Stop Signs
  18. Study: Lawyers Under Stress Are Critical, Cautious and Distant
  19. PRACTICE TIP: “Making Strange Faces” at Jurors Is Frowned Upon by Judges
  20. Morrison Pardoned
  21. School District Ends Ban on Dangerous Writing Implements
  22. 4th Amendment Underclothes
  23. Colorado Nacho Bandito Tripped Up by Saggy Pants
  24. Court Reinstates Employee’s Claims of Alleged Waterboarding, Mustache-Drawing
  25. Assorted Stupidity #9
  26. Dancing With the Indicted, Part Two
  27. Eleven Years Too Long to Have Case “Under Advisement,” Says Panel
  28. Another Defect in Virginia’s Reckless-Driving Statutes
  29. Two Million Reached
  30. It’s Safe Again to Take Your Date Horseback Riding in New York
  31. Reckless-Driving Acquittal Again Shows Proofreading Is Not Just for Dorks

November 2010

  1. This Thing Named to ABA Journal’s Top 100 List
  2. NYT: Supreme Court Using More Words, and Making Less Sense, Than Ever
  3. Sunshine No Longer Free, Says Sun’s New Owner
  4. Sue Your Illusion
  5. Dance Troupe Mistaken for Terrorists
  6. Quit Bothering Superman, Judge Tells LAPD
  7. More Things “TSA” Might Stand For
  8. New York, Florida, Whatever
  9. “I’m the Next President,” Says Guy Who Will Never Be President
  10. Plaintiff Claims Potential Landlord Tracked Her in Motorcade
  11. Florida Governor Will Seek Pardon for Jim Morrison
  12. TSA: Trouser Search Administration
  13. Man Forced to Eat His Own Beard After Losing Lawn Mower Fight
  14. Another High Court Takes Up Negligent-Golfing Issue
  15. WARNING: Do Not Drink From Toilet, Say Helpful Signs at City Hall
  16. “Safe Surrender” Program Draws Hundreds Not Wanted for Anything
  17. Buy Some of Bernie Madoff’s Stupid Crap This Weekend
  18. TSA: No Spear Guns in Carry-On Baggage, Please
  19. Assorted Stupidity #8
  20. Google Maps Blamed for Invasion
  21. NORAD: “Missile” No Threat to Nation, as Far as You Know
  22. Judge Enjoins Oklahoma Ban on Islamic Law
  23. Rioting, San Francisco Style
  24. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #8: Be Pals With a Serial Killer
  25. Lamebook Sues Facebook
  26. Meals Now Less Happy in San Francisco
  27. Odd Election Results
  28. Lawyer Finds $1 Million in Cash in His Closet
  29. Quaids: Lohan, Spears, Gibson Also in Danger From Star Whackers
  30. Denver Citizens to Vote on Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission

October 2010

  1. McDonald’s Ordered to Pay Fat Manager
  2. Assorted Stupidity #7
  3. PRACTICE TIP: Referring to Judges on Your Panel as “Ass Clowns” Does Not Maximize Chance of Success
  4. Good Reason to Kill #11: Sang “My Way” Poorly
  5. Not Guilty by Reason of Tourette’s?
  6. Randy Quaid & Wife Seek Asylum in Canada; Say They Fear Hollywood “Star Whackers”
  7. Dancing Polar Bears Sue for False Arrest
  8. Nevada Supreme Court Denies O.J. Simpson’s Appeal
  9. Please Advise at Your Earliest Convenience Whether You Would Like to Super-Size Your Allegations
  10. Police-Cam Video of Kansas City Chimp Released
  11. Gorilla Update
  12. Assorted Stupidity #6
  13. Canadian Mounties Proceeding With “Active Investigation” of Bieber’s Role in Laser-Tag Incident
  14. Mayor’s Inability to Leap Over Giant Human Tomato Costs City $38,000
  15. “Rich Whitey” Laments Electronic-Voting-Machine Typo
  16. 2010 Ig Nobel Prize Winners Announced
  17. Town’s Lawn-Mowing Requirement Held Not Equivalent to Slavery
  18. Warning: Open Windows Can Be Hazardous
  19. Two Ways to Get the President’s Attention
  20. “Naked Cowboy” Announces Presidential Bid
  21. One Possibly Unforeseen Risk of Escaping While Handcuffed
  22. Questions Not to Ask Police, #47
  23. No Repeat for Obama on Nobel Prize
  24. Legal Drama Finally Pleads Guilty to Sucking
  25. Hotel Sued After Employee Caught Wearing Guest’s Underwear
  26. Tiny Dress, Big Award
  27. Another Reason Not to Wear Sagging Pants: They Won’t Stop Bullets
  28. Pirate Loose in Law Firm
  29. Illiterate Clown Elected to Congress
  30. Seventh Circuit: Plaintiff Unhappy With Search Results Can’t Sue Yahoo!
  31. Headline of the Day: “Man Says Weed in Buttocks Is His, Cocaine’s Not”
  32. Update: Caffeine/Sleep-Deprivation Defense Fails

September 2010

  1. Good Reason to Kill # 10: Posted “Ugly Baby” Comment on Facebook
  2. Officials Uncertain Whether National Soccer Team Was Fake or Just Untalented
  3. Judge Hands Out Condoms Hidden in Acorns
  4. Elmo Testifies Before Congress
  5. Stephen Colbert Testifies Before Congress
  6. Whole Foods Selling Fish It Sort of Doesn’t Want You to Buy
  7. Tip: Covering Self in Paint Will Not Deter Taser Use
  8. Poster for Anti-Infringement Campaign Was Copied, Designer Admits
  9. On Lawmanship
  10. From the Docket: Satan’s Employees, Dangerous Doors
  11. Witch Regulation Moving Forward In Russia
  12. Comical Case Names Update
  13. How Many Times Do I Have to Say It? Skulls Go in Checked Baggage
  14. Lautner Settles RV Lawsuit For Money After Declining Push-Up Contest
  15. Not Guilty by Reason of Caffeine
  16. Starbuds
  17. “I’m Not Davy Crockett,” Says Judge Accused by Limbaugh of Bear Murders
  18. Nightmares About Your Job May Suggest You Need a New One, Says ABA
  19. “The White One Wants My Flesh”
  20. Lawyer Sued After Delivering Belly Bump, Sucker Punch
  21. International House of Prayercakes
  22. Hoisting Suspect’s Sagging Pants Not a “Search,” Court Rules
  23. Banjo Wielded
  24. Georgia Town Enters Fight Against Sagging Pants
  25. Genghis Khan Causing Trouble Again
  26. Witch-Regulation Bill Fails to Pass in Romania
  27. Yet Another Reason Not to Wrestle Your Snake in the Parking Lot
  28. Ninth Circuit Says First Amendment Protects the Right to Tattoo
  29. UPDATE: Threatened “Lemonade Uprising” Underwhelms
  30. Assorted Stupidity #5
  31. High-Risk Anti-Theft Strategy Pays Off
  32. Photoshop Used to Simulate Political Endorsement, Temporarily
  33. Notice: Use of Propaganda as Toilet Paper Is Strictly Forbidden
  34. One Wounded in Man-Bat Fracas
  35. Lawsuit Alleges Failure to Warn That Nipple Jumpstart Might Be Dangerous

August 2010

  1. Werewolf Declines Offer to Settle Lawsuit With Push-Up Contest
  2. Assorted Stupidity #4
  3. Burglar/Entrepreneur Breaks In, Holds Garage Sale
  4. $38 Quadrillion Demand is World’s Second Largest
  5. Leahy Wins Vermont Primary Despite Challenger’s “Old Spice Guy” Ad
  6. Nevada Legislator Proposes Bill on How to Pronounce “Nevada”
  7. Banana Seized
  8. City Council in Illinois May Ban Eye-Rolling
  9. Convicted Terrorist’s Demand for High-Fiber Diet is Rejected
  10. Geek Squad Sends Cease-and-Desist Letter to God Squad
  11. Blagojevich Convicted on One of 24 Counts
  12. Two Important Tips for Taking Your Driver’s Test
  13. Laughing in Courtroom Leads to Felony Charge
  14. Asterisks Don’t Make Expletives Okay, According to F**king Bureaucrats
  15. Paris Hilton Sued for Wearing Wrong Hair Extensions
  16. Patent No. 4,656,917: Eddie Van Halen’s Guitar Support
  17. TIP: Avoid Interview Statements Contrary to What You Said at Your Sentencing Hearing
  18. UPDATE: Suspect Who Tried to Eat Interrogation Notes Gets Eight Years
  19. Patent No. 3,216,423: Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force
  20. County Apologizes for Shutting Down Unlicensed Lemonade Stand
  21. Senator Is the Only Contributor to His Legal Defense Fund
  22. Elvis Presley Running for Governor of Arkansas
  23. Feds: Body-Scanner Images Cannot Be Saved, Except for These 35,000
  24. Need a Tie-Breaker Provision? Consider Rock, Paper, Scissors
  25. Tip: Best to Post Bail With Real Money

July 2010

  1. Reasons Not to Represent Yourself, #73
  2. Case Law Hall of Fame
  3. Spanx Bandit Apprehended
  4. First Amendment Protects Your Right to Roll Your Eyes at Elected Officials
  5. From the Docket: A Trip-and-Fall-and-Slip-and-Fall-and-Fall Case
  6. Plaintiffs Claim Reading on iPad Is Not “Just Like Reading a Book”
  7. Assorted Stupidity #3
  8. Warning: Sharp Thing May Cut Hand
  9. Mugging Outside Ninja School Goes Poorly
  10. BP Rig’s Alarm System Was “In Inhibited Mode” Before Explosion, Tech Says
  11. Anti-Hooting Law Passes in South Carolina
  12. New Forbes Column on Crunch Berries, Froot Loops Cases
  13. Department of Homeland Security Deploys Ogre-Protection Force
  14. Blagojevich: Dying to Testify, Or Maybe Not [UPDATED: Not]
  15. Proposed Law Would Make It Illegal to Hoot After 11 P.M.
  16. Update on the Fraudulent Photoshopper
  17. TIP: Photoshopping Self Into Charity Photos Not Likely to Result In Lighter Sentence
  18. Kansas Man’s 0.57 BAC Impressive, But Not a Record
  19. U.S. Pilot Detained in Rio After Dropping Pants at Checkpoint
  20. Good Reason to Kill #9: That There Is My Fryin’ Pan
  21. Search of Lehman Brothers E-Mails Suggests Words, Phrases to Avoid
  22. Harassment Case Against Steven Seagal Dismissed
  23. TSA Advertising Job Openings on Top of Pizza Boxes
  24. “Fleeting Expletives” Policy Struck Down Again
  25. Prosecution Winding Down in Blagojevich Trial
  26. From the Docket: Alleged Failure to Supervise Knife Use
  27. What We Can Learn From Lindsay Lohan’s Courtroom Notes
  28. Fools Convicted
  29. United States v. One Moon Rock
  30. Why Poland Has Three Presidents Today
  31. End of an Era? Another Crunch Berries Case Dismissed
  32. Men at Work Must Hand Over Five Percent of “Down Under” Royalties
  33. About Blawg Review
  34. Blawg Review #271
  35. “Most-Sued Mascot in the Majors” Is Back in Court
  36. Good Reason to Kill #8: The Vuvuzela

June 2010

  1. Good Reason to Kill #7: Disagreed With Your Macaroni Recipe
  2. Plaintiffs: There Was No Sign Telling Us the Escalator Wasn’t Moving
  3. Comedian-Led Political Party Wins Big in Reykjavik
  4. Landlord Victorious in Peeps Trial
  5. Fat Rapist Claims Confession Was Coerced by Junk-Food Offer
  6. No Suing Your Getaway Driver for Crashing, Court Rules
  7. Do Englishmen Still Have to Show Up for Longbow Practice?
  8. “I No Longer Do,” Japanese Couples Say in Divorce Ceremonies
  9. Naked Cowboy in Trademark Battle With Naked Cowgirl
  10. Unicorn-Meat Slogan Draws Cease-and-Desist Letter From Pork Board
  11. Adultery Still a Crime in New York
  12. Rep. Barton Reconstructs His Previously Misconstrued Non-Apology
  13. From the Docket: Attack of the Bulb
  14. Must-Have Item for Sleep-Deprived Lawyers: the Pillow Tie
  15. Washington’s Handlers Sneak Stolen Book Back Into Library
  16. Not Fooling Anyone
  17. “Carlos the Jackal” Still Worried About His Image
  18. Assorted Stupidity #2
  19. No Tweeting in Court, Judge Tells Blagojevich
  20. No Waiting for Dubious Arguments at the Blagojevich Trial
  21. “F— My Victims,” Says Bernie Madoff, Enjoying Prison
  22. The Courthouse: Still Not a Good Place to Assault Someone
  23. “Please Keep Following Me,” Tweets Departing Prime Minister
  24. Balloon Boy’s Parents Finally Reunited With Balloon
  25. Paying Restitution More Important Than Plastic Surgery, Says Judge
  26. “Your Sorority Will No Longer Be Welcome in Our Facility”

May 2010

  1. Google Maps Made Me Walk Onto the Highway, Woman Claims
  2. UPDATE on “Group Licentiousness” Conviction
  3. A Farewell to Pants
  4. Very Sound Sleeper Files Failure-to-Wake Claim Against United Airlines
  5. Appeal of Crunch Berries Case Dismissed
  6. TIP: “Group Licentiousness” Still Illegal in China
  7. Former Pathological Liar May Be Deposed in Contract Case
  8. Hulkster Sues Post Cereal Over “Degrading” Cocoa Pebbles Ad
  9. Finally! A Litigation Game for the iPhone
  10. Nevada Bans Chicken Suits From Polling Places
  11. Watch Those “Jury Duty” Tweets, People
  12. Parts of Anti-Plagiarism Bill Lifted from Wikipedia
  13. We Regret the Error
  14. TSA: Thousands Standing Around
  15. Gene Simmons: “Grinding” Allegations “Implausible” Due to Armored Codpiece
  16. The Governator Cracks Wise in Commencement Speech
  17. Food Fight Breaks Out in Ukrainian Parliament
  18. Man Offers Medical Explanation For What May Have Seemed Like Peeping
  19. Study Links Long Hours to Death
  20. “Gary Null’s Ultimate Power Meal” Almost Killed Me, Says Gary Null
  21. Spider-Man Arrested for Battery
  22. Snoopy, Accomplice in Custody After Failed Prison-Break Attempt
  23. Judge Who Lost Pants Forced to Rely on Briefs
  24. San Francisco Docket
  25. “Plaintiff Has No Recollection of What Transpired in the Private Room”
  26. Hopefully Safer Pint Glasses Entering Test Phase in Britain
  27. Paying $60K to Attend Trump University Was a “Big Mistake,” Plaintiff Now Realizes
  28. Louisiana May Criminalize Embarrassing Emails
  29. O.J.’s “Acquittal Suit” to Go On Display in Washington
  30. Superheroes Foil Comic-Book-Store Robbery
  31. Wedding Photo Tips for Bigamists
  32. An Even Longer Sentence Has Been Found
  33. Redesign in Progress

April 2010

  1. “Gay Dog” Defense Fails in Discrimination Case
  2. Yet Another Lawsuit About the Lack of Fruit in “Froot Loops”
  3. Non-Child Sues for Slide-Related Injury
  4. Princess Freed From Evil Associate’s Curse
  5. “Warning: Do Not Move 10,000-Pound Safe Without Help.”
  6. Longest Known Sentence in a Legal Document?
  7. Circuses Legal Again in Turkmenistan
  8. Bizarre-Lawsuit Coverage
  9. TIP: Lawyer-Client Interactions Should Not Involve Baseball Bat
  10. Birther-In-Chief Orly Taitz Loses Again
  11. Lawsuit Alleges Failure to Supervise Gophers
  12. State Legislatures Working on Anti-Microchip-Implant Legislation
  13. The Burglar With a Sense of Humor
  14. President Accused of Theft, Failing to Pay Massive Library Fines
  15. $65,000 Verdict in “Mr. Snappy” Comb-Assault Case
  16. Bar-Code-Scanner Assault Case Is Dismissed
  17. Judge Defends Decision to Issue Warrant for Overdue DVD
  18. Plaintiff Alleges She Was Steven Seagal’s Sex Slave
  19. North Face Settles With South Butt
  20. Remarkable April Fools’ Saga Draws to a Close
  21. Judge Finds Hockey Player Guilty of Being a Colossal Asshole
  22. Two Leave Legal Profession
  23. Arrest Warrant Based on Overdue DVD Is Last Straw for Colorado Judge
  24. Airport Worker Caught Taking Picture of Scanner Screen Showing Female Worker “Naked”
  25. Court: Cell-Phone User Should Not Have Been Held in Contempt
  26. BARGAIN ALERT: Law Degrees Cheap in Kazakhstan
  27. JOB ALERT: Kazakhstan Law School Looking for a Dean
  28. Internet Proves Pigs Can Fly, Judge Says
  29. Man Still Cannot Use “Here’s Johnny” for Portable Toilet Business, Says Trademark Board
  30. New York Times is April Fooled by Law Blogger
  31. Why There’s Nothing Special Here for April Fools’ Day
  32. Stop the Sag, Says State Senator

March 2010

  1. Peeps Eviction Trial Postponed
  2. Strip Searches Lead to Discovery of Comical String Cite, Among Other Things
  3. Warning: Do Not Smoke Bracelet While Wearing
  4. Juror in Stolen-Credit-Card Case Steals Fellow Juror’s Credit Card
  5. John O’Hara Still Deserves a Pardon
  6. Can You Copyright a Feathered Suit? Mardi Gras Indians Want to Know
  7. Swedish Prisoner Warned Against Further Flatulence Attacks
  8. Busy Bank Robbers Call Ahead, Place Order to Go
  9. Business-Casual Attire Is Perfect Disguise for Business-Casual Burglar
  10. Ninth Circuit Grapples With Whether Bare Hands Are “Weapons”
  11. Baffling Mistakes Criminals Make All the Time
  12. Government Agency Apologizes for Evicting British Jedi
  13. Clown Shoes Were Defective, Woman Claims
  14. Greg Brady’s Girlfriend Claims He Had His Lawyer Break Up With Her
  15. NY Bill Would Ban the Use of Salt in Restaurant Cooking
  16. Who Dat? Inc. Sues for Misappropriation, Everything Else It Can Think Of
  17. Back Waxing Becomes Issue in Florida Senate Race
  18. Attorneys, Bartenders, Dog Groomers on Dangerous-Driver List
  19. No-Dueling Promise May Be Dropped From Kentucky Oath
  20. Two Sentences, 646 Words, One Lame Opinion
  21. Legal Tool of the Week
  22. Attorney Convicted of Voting Seeks Pardon
  23. Clown Trouble
  24. Fourth Circuit Reinstates Exploding-Sandwich Lawsuit
  25. Laziest Man in the World Is Not American
  26. BREAKING NEWS: Smithsonian Doesn’t Want O.J.’s “Acquittal Suit”
  27. City Council Sues Itself, Seeks Costs for Frivolous Lawsuit

February 2010

  1. Sandwiches Not Sufficiently Meaty, Lawsuit Claims
  2. New Royals Mascot Reportedly Training to Avoid Further Hot-Dog Incidents
  3. Dog-Flinging Mascot Blamed for Eye Injury
  4. TSA Detains Possible Terrorist Armed With Flashcards
  5. Scott Rothstein: Why Come Back From Morocco?
  6. Scott Rothstein: Why Go to Morocco?
  7. Sheriff’s Henchmen Finally Apprehend Robin Hood
  8. Wanna Buy a Watch? Asks Man With Golden Toilet
  9. Postman Claims Mail-Slot-Induced Finger Injury Threatened Professional Darts Career
  10. Camera Catches Moment That Robber Realized Robbery Not Going as Planned
  11. The February Bar Exam Approaches!
  12. Elderly Germans Kidnap Their Financial Adviser and For Some Reason Are Charged With a Crime
  13. Feng Shui Master v. Little Sweetie
  14. “Baby Einstein” Will Not Make Your Baby Einstein, Lawsuit Claims
  15. Please Fill Out This Form If Planning to Overthrow the Government. Thank You.
  16. Common Sense Should Have Prevailed, Say Cops Who Arrested 12-Year-Old Doodler
  17. Men at Work Didn’t Do All Their Own Work, Judge Rules
  18. Demon Sheep Still Focus of California GOP Primary
  19. Rat Planter Pleads No Contest to Extortion Charges
  20. Campaign Ads That May Never Be Topped, Although I Hope People Continue to Try
  21. Three Items Added to Bank-Robbery Checklist
  22. Censure for Judge Who Ordered Attorney Be Paid In Gift Cards, Like Class Members
  23. NFL Concedes In Who Dat Battle
  24. Who Dat Nation and National Football League Step Back From the Brink
  25. If You’ve Been Blown Up, Call This Firm Now

January 2010

  1. Pants Judge Roy Pearson Is Back in Court
  2. Sinking Pedal Boat Ends Ridiculous Escape Attempt
  3. Trial Continued Due to Outbreak of Saintsmania
  4. Jell-O Shots Are “Alcoholic Beverages,” Judge Rules
  5. Complaint in Ruined-Prada-Suit Case
  6. Lawsuit Seeks Damages for Ruined Prada Suit, Matching Accessories
  7. Ape in Court
  8. John Edwards Manages to Get Less Popular
  9. Seriously Funny Lawyer Ads?
  10. Ohio County Pays for Bat Attack
  11. Polling Firm Says John Edwards Is Its Most Unpopular Person Ever
  12. Man Cited for “Rocking Out” to John Denver Tunes
  13. Judge Randomly Drug-Screened Courtroom Spectators, Complaint Alleges
  14. Note: Affair With Client’s Spouse Tends to Create Conflict of Interest
  15. Dangerous Cub Scout on No-Fly List
  16. Israeli Minister Makes Turkish Ambassador Sit on Little Sofa
  17. Deputy Tracks Fugitive Through World of Warcraft
  18. 2009 Lowering the Bar Awards
  19. 2009 Roundup, Part Four: The Bill That Changed “No” to “Yes”
  20. 2009 Roundup, Part Three: Harvard Scrounges Up Enough Cash to Buy Coffee
  21. 2009 Roundup, Part Two: “We Are All Tarnished by Your Stupidity”
  22. 2009 Roundup, Part One: Nation’s “First Openly Pagan Elected Official,” Others
  23. New Year’s in Prison a Happy One, Says Man Avoiding Family

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