The Curious Engineer

Lowering the Bar

2014–2026

1,368 posts

← 2010–2013

2026 38

October 2026

  1. Assorted Stupidity #176
  2. Flamingo Stealer Convicted of Animal Cruelty
  3. Again I Warn Thee: Fleeth Not by Water
  4. Court Holds AI-Generated “Victim Statement” Not Reliable

September 2026

  1. Judge Won’t Stand for Being Jerked Around
  2. Turns Out ChatGPT Can Fabricate More Than Just Case Law
  3. Assorted Stupidity #175
  4. Author of “The Man Who Robbed a Bank With a Banana” Robs Bank With Banana

August 2026

  1. Parking Company Apologizes to Formerly Dead Woman for $80 Ticket
  2. RFK Jr. Claims He’s Not Allowed to Vote Because He Has “No Legal Residence”
  3. How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You? Anything You Type, Burgundy Will Read

July 2026

  1. Former Employee Sues Comcast Over Alleged Pie-in-the-Face Policy
  2. Florida Bans Unnaturally Posed Stuffed Baby Crocodilians
  3. Church of Scientology Wants Someone Else Punished for Making Stuff Up
  4. Official State Crap Update: California’s Official Shrub

June 2026

  1. Nicholas Rossi Finally Extradited From Earth
  2. A Note on the E-Mail Newsletter
  3. Assorted Stupidity #174
  4. It Was Only a Matter of Time: *Both* Sides’ Lawyers Sanctioned for Using AI
  5. Two More Lawyers Pay for Relying on Artificial “Intelligence”

May 2026

  1. Good Reason to Kill #79: Disputed Seating at Kindergarten Graduation
  2. ChatGPT Confesses to a Crime It Didn’t Commit
  3. Under Haitian Law, Is It Illegal to Make a Zombie?
  4. Six-Month Sentence in Bee-Assault Case

April 2026

  1. “The Mistake Will Not Recur [Until Two Sentences From Now]”
  2. Assorted Stupidity #173
  3. Sentences Handed Down in Bear-Suit-Insurance-Fraud Case
  4. Cat Blamed for Crime
  5. Still Illegal to Drive (a Horse) Under the Influence in Kentucky

March 2026

  1. Official State Crap: Kansas
  2. FEMA Official: Teleporting to Waffle House Was an “Incredible Adventure”
  3. Judge Prepares Slide Deck of Lawyer’s Mistakes

February 2026

  1. Assorted Stupidity #172
  2. U.S. Pat. No. 8,667,956: Controllable [Human] Launcher
  3. In Memory of “Death v. Graves”

January 2026

  1. Judge Finds for 11-Year-Old in Toy-Dinosaur-Assault Case
  2. New York State May Allow “Dancing by Default”
  3. Get Lost, 2025

2025 51

December 2025

  1. Plaintiff Accuses St. Vincent of Negligent Stage-Diving
  2. Assorted Stupidity #171

November 2025

  1. First Alleged Space Crime … Didn’t Happen
  2. Jury Deliberates in Sandwich-Assault Case [Update: Not Guilty]

October 2025

  1. Okay, It Seems to Have Been Pretty Successful
  2. Was That Scuba Burglary a Successful Aquatic Escape?
  3. Nirvana Beats Former Baby’s Lawsuit (Again)
  4. Lawyers Say Chief Justice “Calm” Despite Flying Shoe
  5. Court: Complaint That Spends 79 Pages Praising the Client Shall Be Rewritten

September 2025

  1. Following Up
  2. Assorted Stupidity #170
  3. Can You Get a DUI in a Barbie Jeep? Again, Yes
  4. Yet More Aquatic Escape Attempts

August 2025

  1. DUI Lawyer Promises to Swoop in Riding Mighty Eagle
  2. Alleged Irish Orphan Convicted of Being American Rapist
  3. In the Ancient Libraries of Ashurbanipal
  4. Constitution Deleted
  5. Sea-Cucumber Abuser to Be “Moved Far From the Sea for a Long Period of Time”

July 2025

  1. Defendant Recruited Seven Actors to “Testify” in Fraud Trial
  2. Assorted Stupidity #169
  3. Justice Harlan on Dirty Movies: “By Jove! Extraordinary!”

June 2025

  1. Authorities Question Unlicensed Beaver Releases
  2. Man Forced to Concede His Lawyer Is “Not a Real Person”
  3. Drunken Mule-Rider Accused of Assault With Deadly Raccoon
  4. Please Do Your Best Not to Appear in the “AI Hallucination Database”
  5. Idaho Passes Emergency Truck-Nuts Legislation

May 2025

  1. U.S. Supreme Court, 1795: FYI, You Guys Should Be Filing Briefs
  2. Assorted Stupidity #168
  3. Plaintiffs Allegedly Struck by Prosthetic Leg Flung From Carnival Ride
  4. Judge Tells Lawyers to Apologize for Screaming at Philadelphia
  5. “Real Live Flesh and Blood Man” Still Subject to Australian Law

April 2025

  1. “Dragon Lawyer” Files Complaint With Cartoon Dragon
  2. “Would You Be Surprised to Learn This Case Does Not Exist?”
  3. I Will at Least Concede That Nobody Needs More Than One Emotional-Support Tiger
  4. U.S. Supreme Court Won’t Decide Who Owns Banana Taped to Wall
  5. Assorted Stupidity #167
  6. Lawmaker Wants to Regulate Self-Checkout Lanes

March 2025

  1. Official State Crap: Iowa
  2. President Threatened With Witchcraft
  3. Arsonist Reportedly on Fire
  4. Smoke Bombs, Flares Liven Up Parliament Session

February 2025

  1. Party Frowns on Members Punching Constituents
  2. Court: DA’s Witchcraft Accusations Were a Bit Over the Line
  3. Husband’s Disability Claim Undermined by Evidence of Repeated Sasquatch Hunts
  4. Puppet Master Turned Illegal Beagle Breeder Says He Ran Over Cops Because of “Emotions”
  5. “Is This Some Sort of Joke?”

January 2025

  1. Iowa Lawmaker Introduces Bill to Protect Iowans from Shark Bites in Iowa
  2. Judge Orders Lawyers to Have Lunch Together and Discuss “How They Can Act Professionally”
  3. Assorted Stupidity #166
  4. Dictator Reportedly Bans “Treasonous” Hot Dogs
  5. Goodbye, 2024

2024 61

December 2024

  1. Now Go Away or He Will Taunt You a Second Time
  2. Sovereign Citizens Convicted of Trying to Kidnap Coroner They Accused of Necromancy
  3. Many Still Insist on Trying to Flee Authorities via Water

November 2024

  1. Still No Lawsuit Against the Fake Colombian Basketball Team
  2. Insurer Thinks Bear Shown in Video Trashing Car Looks a Lot Like a Guy in a Bear Suit
  3. Assorted Stupidity #165
  4. WE DID IT!
  5. November Surprise! State Finally Releases RFK Jr.’s Falconry Records
  6. House Advertised as “Not Haunted”

October 2024

  1. RFK Jr. Gets Nowhere With Residency Appeal
  2. The Prisoner Formerly Known as Nicholas Rossi Finally Admits He Lied About His Identity
  3. Is It Legal to Import Sheep Testicles So You Can Breed Giant Alternative Livestock to Kill?
  4. Hawaii Makes the Shaka Its Official State Gesture
  5. Woman Freed After Lab Confirms “Suspicious Residue” Was SpaghettiO Sauce
  6. Cease-and-Desist Letter Fails to Prevent Competing “World Naked Bike Ride”
  7. Alleged Tax Dodger Says It’s a “Legitimate Snail-Farming Operation”

September 2024

  1. So Sean “Diddy” Combs Isn’t Having a Great Year
  2. RFK Jr. Falconry Followup
  3. Drivers Won’t Yield to Pedestrian in Chicken Suit
  4. Assorted Stupidity #164
  5. RFK Jr.’s Falconry Records Still Secret—For Now
  6. Bubble-Blower Charged With “Littering Prohibited Fluids”

August 2024

  1. Court Orders Martin Shkreli to Hand Over His Wu-Tang Clan Album (Again)
  2. RFK Jr. Expected to End Campaign After Questions Raised About Falconry License
  3. Judge Rejects RFK Jr.’s Claim to Be New York Resident, Despite Valid State Falconry License
  4. Man Pleads Guilty to Handling Salmon Under Suspicious Circumstances
  5. Juror Swears Oath on Cup of River Water

July 2024

  1. Assorted Stupidity #163
  2. Mother Teresa Pleads Guilty to Ponzi Scheme
  3. Attorney Held Not Quite Annoying Enough for Restraining Order
  4. Three-Page Limit Exceeded by 70
  5. “A Losing Argument Is Not the Same as a Frivolous One,” Except When It Is

June 2024

  1. Assorted Stupidity #162
  2. Suspended-License Case: More Complicated, Not Less Dumb
  3. Seventh Circuit: Please Don’t Use the “Twilight Zone” Font in Briefs Ever Again

May 2024

  1. Guy With Suspended License Takes Court Call on Zoom While Driving
  2. Priest Who Bit Woman During Mass Says She Had It Coming
  3. “LOL, no,” Explained
  4. Guess Who’s Decided to Represent Himself?
  5. Noodler Guilty of Murdering Alleged Bigfoot-Summoner
  6. This AI Garbage Bot Claimed It Was Thinking of Me the Other Day
  7. Assorted Stupidity #161

April 2024

  1. “LOL, no.”
  2. Alleged de Armas Fans Get Nothing in Misleading-Trailer Lawsuit
  3. O.J. Simpson Embarks on Long, Slow Bronco Ride Into Eternity
  4. Are Chemtrails Spreading Across the Country? No, But Goofy Chemtrail Legislation Is
  5. Dwarf Planet, Giant Slug

March 2024

  1. Tennessee Senate Votes to Ineffectively Ban Something That Doesn’t Exist
  2. Tribunal Dismisses Hotpot-Based Marital-Status-Discrimination Claim
  3. Is Originalism Bullshit?
  4. Water-Escape-Attempt Roundup

February 2024

  1. Roadkill to Become Fair Game in Virginia
  2. Assorted Stupidity #160
  3. Florida Rep: This Bill Doesn’t Target All Bears, Just “the Ones That Are on Crack”
  4. High Noon in the Missouri Senate?

January 2024

  1. Reminder: Lawyers Should Try Not to Sleep Through “Important Aspects of Trial”
  2. Nicholas Rossi’s World Tour Continues: Now Appearing in Utah
  3. Feds Frown Upon Humorous Electronic Traffic Signs
  4. Plaintiff Aghast That Her Peanut Butter Pumpkins HAD NO EYES
  5. Former Fugitive Extradited, Briefly De-Trousered
  6. “I Hereby Swear to Hate Henry Symeonis, Whoever That Is.”

2023 45

December 2023

  1. Ninth Circuit Revives Nevermind Cover Baby’s Frivolous Lawsuit
  2. Assorted Stupidity #159
  3. Former Prisoner Arrested in “I Just Got Out of Prison” T-Shirt May Be Going Back

November 2023

  1. Federal Court Ends Dramatic Fight Over Meaning of “Double-Spaced”
  2. Italian Mom Gets Court Order to Evict Her Lazy Adult Sons
  3. An Old But Terrific Headline
  4. Alleged “Somerset Gimp” Ordered Not to Wriggle in Public

October 2023

  1. Assorted Stupidity #158
  2. Bar Wants Fake Lawyer Prosecuted Even Though He (Reportedly) Won All His Cases
  3. Sith Lord Who Stalked Queen Gets Nine Years for Treason; AI Girlfriend Not Charged
  4. Massachusetts May Make It Illegal to Give Your Robot a Gun
  5. I Was in Spain

September 2023

  1. Coast Guard Arrests Guy Just Trying to Walk to London in a Floating Hamster Wheel
  2. Assorted Stupidity #157

August 2023

  1. Please Make a Note of the Planning Required for a Successful Water Escape
  2. “ChiefsAholic” Indicted for Robbing Banks to Fund ChiefAholism
  3. Nicholas Rossi Will Be Extradited—or Will He?
  4. Yet More Unsuccessful Water Escapes
  5. Court Tosses Lawsuit Claiming Mac & Cheese Took Too Long to Make

July 2023

  1. Feds: Unlicensed Alien Guide Offered Gall Bladders and Women During Illegal Bear Hunt
  2. Assorted Stupidity #156
  3. Canadian Legal Alert: Canoeing Under the Influence Is Now Illegal

June 2023

  1. Four David Sosas File Brief in Support of Fifth
  2. I Guess We’ll Never Know Why These Severed Heads Are on Your Desk, Boss Says to Whistleblower
  3. Alabama Names Official State Cookie
  4. “I Really Regret the Matter,” Says Driver Fined $129K for Speeding

May 2023

  1. Good Reason to Kill #78: Ate the Last Hot Pocket
  2. Bouncy-Castle King Gets 11 Years for Bouncy-Castle Arson
  3. Can You Claim a Reasonable Expectation of Privacy as a Guest If You Killed Your Hosts?

April 2023

  1. Assorted Stupidity #155
  2. Piano Man Convicted of Driving Piano While Under the Influence
  3. Ninth Circuit Says Expressive Honking Not Protected by First Amendment
  4. Attorneys Required to Atone for Late Notice by Holding Up Signs in Courthouse Lobby

March 2023

  1. HUGE LEGAL NEWS! Paltrow Wins $1 in Ski-Crash Trial
  2. Food Blogger Fined for Eating Great White Shark
  3. Plaintiff Alleges “Boneless Wings” Are Really Mislabeled Nuggets
  4. Assorted Stupidity #154

February 2023

  1. Dogs Object to Bill Making It Illegal to Stick Their Heads Out of Car Windows
  2. Bill Would Establish Official State Aroma
  3. Montana Bill Would Ban Teaching Science
  4. Defendant Sentenced to Law School
  5. Judge: F-Word No Longer Has Sufficient “Shock Value” to Be a Problem at Work

January 2023

  1. Canadian Democracy Survives Cinnamon-Bun Scandal
  2. UPDATE: Auto Insurer May Not Have to Pay for Back-Seat Transmission
  3. Congratulations on Not Catching Jack the Ripper

2022 55

December 2022

  1. Surveillance-Camera Thief Captures Complete Record of His Crime
  2. Assorted Stupidity #153
  3. French Court Recognizes Basic Human Right Not to Be “Fun”

November 2022

  1. Lawsuit Claims Mac & Cheese May Take Seconds Longer to Make Than Promised
  2. Suspect Claiming Mistaken Identity Says Someone Tattooed Him Without His Knowledge
  3. Geoffrey Chaucer Cleared of Rape Allegation
  4. Balloonist’s Lawyer Says Ex-Parrots Died Simultaneously of Natural Causes

October 2022

  1. Death at Shotgun Willie’s Delays Trial About Death at Shotgun Willie’s
  2. Are Honeybees “Dangerous Weapons”?
  3. “Motion to Halt the Madness” Granted in Part
  4. The Best Brief Ever Written Is an Amicus Brief on Behalf of The Onion

September 2022

  1. Disgraced Lawyer’s Crocodile Shoes Sold for $1062
  2. California Supreme Court: We Don’t Think Bees Are Fish
  3. California County Bans Wild Cow Milking
  4. Study: Bad Writing Makes Legal Documents Hard to Read
  5. Nirvana Beats Former Baby’s Lawsuit
  6. Assorted Stupidity #152

August 2022

  1. Another Former President Moves to Intervene in Mar-a-Lago Case
  2. Man Wins 22-Year Fight Over 25-Cent Dispute
  3. Did Congress Forgive All Your Debts by Passing a Law Nobody Knows About Because of 9/11?
  4. “Injured While Searching for Dead Bodies at Lake Mead?”
  5. Alex Jones’ Lawyers May Have Mistakenly Sent Evidence of Perjury to Opposing Counsel

July 2022

  1. Last Salem Witch Finally Cleared
  2. Assorted Stupidity #151
  3. Good Reason to Kill #77: Summoned Bigfoot to Kill You First
  4. Court Holds That Practicing Law From a Jail Cell May Violate Some Ethics Rules
  5. PLEASE NOTE: Exhibits Must Be Defused Before Offering Them Into Evidence

June 2022

  1. Does It Violate the Ethics Rules to Cheat on an Ethics Test?
  2. Lawyer’s Compilation of Brazil’s Tax Laws Weighs More Than Seven Tons
  3. Partisan Split in Montana Over Which District Gets to Be “District One”
  4. Auto Insurer May Have to Pay for Transmission That Allegedly Occurred in Back Seat
  5. Court Says Bees Are Fish

May 2022

  1. Author of “How to Murder Your Husband” Convicted of Murdering Husband
  2. Parents Sue Their Son, Demanding Grandchild or $650,000 in Compensation
  3. Legislator Regrets Appearing for Session via Zoom From Toilet Stall
  4. Assorted Stupidity #150

April 2022

  1. Iowa Cases No Longer Being Prosecuted by “Easter S. Bunny”
  2. Twenty-One-Octillion-Dollar Demand Still Not a Record
  3. Flatulent Barrister Loses Flatulence-Discrimination Case
  4. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #13: Say You Gotta See Your Sugar Daddy Every Day
  5. Motion to Go F*#& Yourselves

March 2022

  1. Russian Lawmaker Says He Wants Alaska Back
  2. THIS AGAIN (Hereinafter, “This”)
  3. Bill Would Authorize Letter of Marque and Reprisal to Whoever Will Steal Putin’s Yacht
  4. Jury to Decide Whether Officers Have Qualified Immunity for Tasing a Guy in the Crotch
  5. Man Charged With Driving Into House Three Times Explains That His “Foot Slipped”

February 2022

  1. Canadian Vaccine Protesters Are Confused About the Law, Too
  2. REMINDER: Choose an Alias That Doesn’t Already Appear on a Warrant
  3. Court: “Kill Four People, That’s Grounds for Termination”
  4. Assorted Stupidity #149

January 2022

  1. Judge Censured for Cane-Flinging Incident
  2. Italian High Court Holds Loud Toilet Violated Plaintiffs’ Human Rights
  3. Official State Crap: Indiana
  4. Plaintiff Alleges He Didn’t Know Jets and Giants Play in New Jersey
  5. Scotland Reportedly Planning to Pardon All Witches

2021 74

December 2021

  1. “I’m From Alabama,” Says Judge Explaining Why He Buried $100,000 in His Backyard
  2. Assorted Stupidity #148
  3. Board Seems Reluctant to Allow Tiger Sanctuary in a Tent One Block From the Vegas Strip
  4. My Client “Had No Non-Lethal Options,” Says Lawyer for Cop Who Shot Wheelchair-Bound Man in the Back

November 2021

  1. Train Driver Sues to Recover 49-Cent Penalty
  2. Definition of Human Butt Debated During Cuomo Deposition
  3. “No One Can Stop Me,” Says Lawyer About to Be Stopped
  4. Plaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She Expected

October 2021

  1. Consumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)
  2. Plaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It’s in Nepal)
  3. Chavez v. ‘Cause Y’all Took My Phones I Don’t Know Their Names (S.D.N.Y. 2021)
  4. Hopefully There Will Be No Winners in Lawsuit Against Psychic
  5. UPDATED: Suspect in Assault Case Spends Two Days in Tree
  6. Canadian Lawyers Want Person Not in Canada to Go There So They Can Kick Her Out
  7. U.S. Army Special Ops Unit Assaulted by Ninja

September 2021

  1. Missing Man Found in Search Party Looking for Himself
  2. Lawyer Held in Contempt for Repeatedly Saying “Gadzooks” After Judge’s Ruling
  3. Realtor Claims Home Not Sold Due to Compromising Paraphernalia of Sundry Sorts
  4. Assorted Stupidity #147
  5. “Nevermind” Cover Baby Sues Nirvana for Showing Him Naked

August 2021

  1. Suspect Who Fled Into Lake Pursued by Officer on Paddleboard
  2. Sanctions Order Against Kraken Lawyers Weighs More Than a Pound
  3. I Claim This Castle Under Article 61 of the Magna Carta, Says Idiot
  4. German Fined 250,000 Euros for Unlicensed Panzer
  5. Dead People Still Having Trouble Proving They’re Alive

July 2021

  1. Assorted Stupidity #146
  2. Lawyer Apologizes for Putting Judge Under Surveillance
  3. Kraken-Releasing Lawyers Face Tough Questions in Federal Court
  4. Third Planet v. Crowne Plaza: Infinity War or Endgame?
  5. Official State Crap: Idaho

June 2021

  1. Settlement in Flintstone-House Case Means 15-Foot Metal Dinosaurs Will Stay
  2. Supreme Court Holds Cheerleaders Can Swear on Snapchat
  3. “Hint of Lime” Case: It’s Not Crunch Berries, But It’s Close
  4. Assorted Stupidity #145
  5. Court Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer’s “Stand Your Ground” Defense

May 2021

  1. Alabama Nervously Decides to Lift Yoga Ban; Sponsor Notes There Are No “Yoga Police”
  2. Man Says He Can’t Come to the Office Because He Gets More Done at Home as Lord Vishnu
  3. Man Claims to Be Four Kinds of Federal Agent During Single Traffic Stop
  4. “Ludicrous” Defenses Rejected in Twisted Sister Copyright Case
  5. Plaintiff’s “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp Cleaning
  6. Barge Captains Caught After What You Might Call “Chases”

April 2021

  1. Assorted Stupidity #144
  2. Woman Charged With Felony for Failing to Return Sabrina the Teenage Witch
  3. Struck by Turtle, Initial Encounter
  4. Couple Married Four Times in a Month to Get Four Paid Honeymoons
  5. A Farewell to Madoff
  6. Is It Legal to Shoot Fish With a Gun?
  7. Man Charged With Driving Stolen Car Appears for Zoom Hearing From Inside Another Stolen Car
  8. Alabama Still Hasn’t Lifted Its Yoga Ban
  9. Alleged Arsonists Say They Set Fires to Get Rid of Snakes

March 2021

  1. Lawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Has Finally Been Honored
  2. Assorted Stupidity #143
  3. Houston Water Escape: Another Exception That Proves the Rule?
  4. In Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
  5. Moms Arrested for Hacking Cheerleading and Homecoming-Queen Competitions
  6. “Is That a Rocket Launcher?”—Criminal Lawyer Reacts
  7. Zoom Hearing Ends When Defendant Turns Out to Be in Alleged Victim’s Apartment
  8. Assorted Stupidity #142
  9. Court: Doctor, Please Don’t Operate on Patients During This Zoom Trial

February 2021

  1. Dispute Resolved With Power Saw Will Be Re-Resolved in Court
  2. Fake-Your-Own-Kidnapping Ploy Fails Again
  3. Lawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Is Still a Hot Mess
  4. Suit on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump” Dismissed
  5. Massachusetts Considering Official Dinosaur
  6. Cat Appears for Hearing After Zoom-Filter Mishap
  7. Assorted Stupidity #141
  8. Disbarment for Lawyer Caught With Zipper Down

January 2021

  1. Look Who’s Back, Now Filing Lawsuits on Behalf of “Donard J. Trump”
  2. Lawyer Suspended for Advice on How to “Make It Look Like Self-Defense”
  3. Oklahoma Legislator Proposes Big Foot Hunting Season
  4. Naked Fugitive Found in Croc-Infested Swamp
  5. Assorted Stupidity #140 (Sedition Edition)
  6. Dear Idiots: Please Keep Posting Pictures of You Committing Crimes
  7. United States v. Five Hundred and Twelve Otters

2020 86

December 2020

  1. It Is No Longer a Crime to Impersonate Smokey Bear
  2. Lawyer Files Document “Under Plenty of Perjury”
  3. Man Ordered to Stop Doing Autopsies Because He’s Not, Like, a Doctor or Anything
  4. Assorted Stupidity #139
  5. Beware of Fez-Wearers Making Bogus Demands
  6. Pork-Product Proposal Perturbs Parliamentarians; Prompts Pummeling, Pig-Part Pelting

November 2020

  1. Trump Legal Team’s Record So Far: Bad
  2. “Motion to Declare Trump Victorious” Filed in Pennsylvania
  3. Things That Fail: Ponzi Schemes, Water Escapes
  4. Leader’s Right to Take Office Questioned
  5. Alabama’s Ginormous Constitution Will Be “Recompiled,” Made Less Racist
  6. Assorted Stupidity #138

October 2020

  1. Man Who Wanted “Full-Contact Experience” With Leopard Sues After Getting One
  2. Prosecutors* Try to Drop Charges Against Themselves
  3. “Legal Genius” Pleads Guilty to Fraud
  4. Another Lesson About Redaction
  5. Rapper Who Rapped About Committing Fraud Arrested for Fraud
  6. Jailers Who Subjected Inmates to “Baby Shark” Face Cruelty Charges
  7. Criminal Becomes First Person to Break Law Passed Because of His Crimes
  8. In Honor of Eddie Van Halen
  9. Court Rules Bread Does Not Meet Definition of Bread

September 2020

  1. A Four-Thousand-Word Sentence
  2. Assorted Stupidity #137
  3. City Plans to Call Off Its 13-Year War on Saggy Pants
  4. Judge Deploys Rumpelstiltskin Metaphor for Sixth Time
  5. Your Honor, I Direct You to Article 61 of the Magna Carta

August 2020

  1. Fine, Get in the Sea, Crooks
  2. Yet Again, Gravitational Risks Held to Be “Obvious”
  3. Felon Who Died in Tragic Fall Found Alive in Closet
  4. An Evening With Blago
  5. DOJ Says It Could Take Bribes in Court and the Judge Could Do Nothing
  6. Assorted Stupidity #136
  7. Does the Excessive Fines Clause Apply to Parking-Meter Violations?

July 2020

  1. Court Says Lawyer’s “Colorful Insults” Did Not Help His Clients’ Case
  2. Who’s Trying to Trademark Every Potential Washington Football Team Name?
  3. Neighbor Who Griped About Property Line Ends Up With Half a Garage
  4. Pro-Virus Floridians Challenge Mask Mandate
  5. Assorted Stupidity #135
  6. Official State Crap: Hawaii
  7. Are We Still Doing Attempted Water Escapes?

June 2020

  1. The Middle Finger and the Law
  2. Court Dismisses Representative’s Claim Against Twitter in Satirical-Cow Case
  3. Attorney Charged With Criminal Mischief for Egging Judge’s Car
  4. Can You Sue a Dead Person?
  5. Assorted Stupidity #134
  6. The $65-Million-Pants Case: Year 16
  7. Saudi Divorce Rate Spikes During Lockdown; Wives Reportedly Learning of “Secret Marriages”
  8. Court: Len Dykstra’s Reputation Is So Bad He Can’t Be Libeled

May 2020

  1. “The Facts Are Unusual,” Says Judge About Acquittal in Mistaken-Home-Invasion-Broom-Sex-Fantasy Case
  2. Nope, Twitter Isn’t Violating the First Amendment
  3. Court Says You Can’t Bang a Gong Near a Hospital
  4. Tip: “BOOM SHAKALAKA” May Not Be Best Response to Contempt Petition
  5. Bad Disguise #9: Watermelon Head
  6. Buyer of Soon-to-Be-Ex-Parrot Wins Implied-Warranty Claim
  7. Assorted Stupidity #133
  8. Court Declines to Sanction Lawyer for Alleged “Butt Shaking” During Mediation
  9. Washington Courts Still Split on Definition of “Motor Vehicle”

April 2020

  1. Court Invalidates Result of Rock-Paper-Scissors Match
  2. Wearing Masks: Legally Required, but Also Illegal
  3. Assorted Stupidity #132
  4. Judge Asks Attorneys to Wear Shirts, Get Out of Bed for Videoconferences
  5. “The Agents Involved Speak an Almost Impenetrable Jargon”
  6. Edgar Allan Poe: Bankruptcy Judge
  7. Assorted Stupidity #131

March 2020

  1. End of Speech Shouted
  2. How Many Axe-Throwing Coaches Does It Take to Have a Class Action?
  3. Court: Your Unicorn Case Is Not an “Emergency”
  4. “Shelter in Place”: Does It Mean Zombies Are Attacking? An Analysis
  5. A Message from Lowering the Bar Regarding the Coronavirus
  6. It’s Judge Edison, Not Judge Ellison
  7. Alabama May Lift Yoga Ban; Law Would Remain Stupid
  8. Panel Recommends Disbarment for Blagojevich

February 2020

  1. Assorted Stupidity #130
  2. Lawyer Held in Contempt Is Sentenced to Write Sentences
  3. A Note From Kevin (Hereinafter, “Me”) to All Attorneys (Hereinafter, “You”)
  4. TIP: Choose an Alias That Doesn’t Already Appear on a Warrant
  5. Does the Constitution Say You Can Shoot Socialists?
  6. Bag Marked “Bag Full of Drugs” Allegedly Full of Drugs
  7. Gritty Exonerated

January 2020

  1. Lawyer Who Billed Over 6,600 Hours Per Year “Found in Nicaragua”
  2. Gritty Investigated
  3. Updates!
  4. Kansas Man Seeks Trial by Combat
  5. Man Claims He Lost 500-Pound Emerald In Fire, But Some Have Questions
  6. TripAdvisor Sued for Negligent Camel Supervision
  7. Racist Pagan Goat-Murdering Lawyer Is in Trouble Again

2019 97

December 2019

  1. Another Year of Lowering the Bar
  2. Assorted Holiday Stupidity
  3. “Tell You What, Slick. This Profession Doesn’t Need You.”
  4. Tear Gas Fired to Disperse Lawyers
  5. Employee Says She Robbed Store to Teach Other Employees a Lesson
  6. “Perhaps Some of the Language ‘Crossed the Line’ of Civility”
  7. Congressman Pleads Guilty to Using Campaign Funds for Rabbit Travel

November 2019

  1. Lawyer Whose Pants Caught Fire Still Feeling the Heat
  2. Assorted Stupidity #128
  3. Expert on Money Laundering Arrested for … Well, You Can Probably Guess
  4. Prisoner Who’s Not Dead Anymore Says He’s Served His Life Sentence
  5. Seventh Circuit: “We Draw the Line at Gibberish”
  6. Target of Police Raid Had Been in Prison for Five Years, Plaintiff Alleges
  7. Man Convicted of Lynching Himself

October 2019

  1. California’s Roadkill Bill Becomes Law
  2. Assorted Criminal Stupidity
  3. Fourth-Level Subcontractor Ruins Murder Plot
  4. “Everything About This Case Turns Out to Be Stupid,” Says Judge
  5. Assorted Stupidity #127
  6. Court Is Now In Session, The Honorable Captain Kangaroo Presiding
  7. Lawyer Who Said Disbarment Would Be “an Honor” Will Probably Be Honored Shortly
  8. Plaintiff: “Dressing Me Up as a Leprechaun Is Wrong”

September 2019

  1. “Excuseman” Gets Three Years for Stealing From Clients
  2. Californians Can No Longer Be Forced to Join a Posse
  3. UPDATE: Shrout’s on the Run
  4. Questions to Ask Before Trying to Get a Ton of Drugs Into Australia by Sea
  5. Adios Mugabe
  6. Court Affirms Conviction for Making “Hand Gesture in the Form of a Gun”

August 2019

  1. Dialogue in a Car on Route 107 in Nassau County, New York
  2. First Alleged Space Crime Is Surprisingly Dull
  3. Please Use Caution When Consulting This Map on Kangaroo-Ownership Laws
  4. Plaintiff: I Was Attacked by Wayne Newton’s Monkey
  5. No Reasonable Expectation of Privacy While Burgling
  6. Assorted Stupidity #126
  7. Good Reason to Kill #76a: Mystery Clown (or, Clown Mystery)
  8. Good Reason to Kill #76: Fancy Dress (Clown)

July 2019

  1. Alleged Spanish Hit-Man Contract and Resumé Translated
  2. “Natural Causes” Determination Called Into Question by Stab Wounds, Blood Everywhere
  3. Court Rules Income Tax Is Not Against the Will of God
  4. Judge Who Meowed and, on One Occasion, Roared, Gets Three-Year Suspension
  5. Again I Must Remind You That Dealing With a Hit Man Is Fraught With Peril
  6. There’s at Least One Frustrated Game of Thrones Fan on the Ninth Circuit
  7. Assorted Stupidity #125

June 2019

  1. “I Think of Time as a Continuum,” and Other Bad Deposition Answers
  2. Lawyer Says He’s the Only One in Sudan Allowed to Use the Internet
  3. DUI Laws: Do They Apply If You’re Driving a Tank?
  4. Auction Winner Learns Why Property Was Such a Great Deal: It’s Only 12 Inches Wide
  5. Court Finds Man Not Liable for Strapping Pork Chops to His Feet
  6. Suspect Located
  7. Official State Crap Update: D.C.’s Gettin’ an Official Bat
  8. Builders of Giant Ark Sue Over Rain Damage

May 2019

  1. Guess Who Just Sued the Maker of “Ion Maiden”
  2. Texas Legislature Accidentally Repeals Plumbing Code
  3. Is It Unethical to Throw a Raccoon Overboard?
  4. ALERT: TSA Is Keeping Your Loose Change
  5. Montana Decides Against Official Rock Song; Objects to Being Sold to Canada
  6. Assorted Stupidity #124
  7. Guess Who Just Sued the Maker of “Guns ’N’ Rosé”
  8. Expert Attributes Sudden Surge in DSUWI Cases to Coincidence
  9. New Zealand Lawmaker Accused of Making “Barnyard Noise”

April 2019

  1. Judge Dismisses Incomprehensible, Pointless Pile of Papers
  2. How to Avoid Jury Duty, #12: Be the Judge in That Case
  3. Assorted Stupidity #123
  4. Third Man Beaten With Own Leg by Leg-Wielding Girlfriend
  5. Plaintiff Alleges Boss Insisted He Get an Exorcism
  6. UPDATE: Judge Who Accidentally Resigned Is Out of a Job
  7. Judge’s Supporters Say the Texas Constitution Sucks
  8. Zimbabwe’s Buyin’ Judge Wigs
  9. Judge Accidentally Resigns
  10. Assorted Stupidity #122

March 2019

  1. Attempt to Flee Australia on a Jet Ski Fails (90 Miles Later)
  2. Will Utah Legalize Fornication?
  3. Thomas Talks Thrice
  4. Fall Out Boy Sued for Misusing Llama Puppets
  5. Updates!
  6. Voters Expel Mayor and Re-Elect Him on the Same Ballot
  7. ALERT: Please Do Not Drink “Catnip Cocktail”
  8. “Succubustic”: Is It a Word You Should Use to Describe a Judge?
  9. Warner Bros. Says Rat Must Remain in “The Departed”

February 2019

  1. Assorted Stupidity #121
  2. Proposed Law Would Prevent Climate Change in Montana
  3. Meh
  4. A Form You Hopefully Won’t Need: Notice of Apology to Judge
  5. Assorted Stupidity #120
  6. Stolen Swedish Crown Jewels Turn Up During Suspect’s Trial
  7. Sheriff Says Use of Camera to Zoom in on Defense Attorney’s Notes Was “Inadvertent”
  8. Sadly, I Must Report That There Was in Fact No “Canoe Chase”
  9. Bill Would Make Sasquatch Washington’s Official State Cryptid

January 2019

  1. Beware: Botox Bandits Burgle Beautiful Brows
  2. Update: The Paddlefish Defendants Are Now for Sale
  3. Good Reason to Kill #75: Thought Wife Damaged Action Figures
  4. My Fellow Americans, the State of the Union Is Stupid
  5. “My Turn to Drive,” the Passenger Said. But It Wasn’t
  6. Man Locked in Burger King Bathroom for an Hour Wants Free Whoppers for Life
  7. Saudi Women Now Entitled to Text Message Notifying Them of Divorce
  8. Trump Campaign Not Liable for Hiring Roscoe the Pistol
  9. Testimony of Elmo Monster, Sesame Street Muppet

2018 116

December 2018

  1. Thief Dangles From Fence
  2. Happy Holidays! (Now Get Out of My Courtroom)
  3. Sing, O Muse, of the Paul D. Ryan Bipartisan Arrow-Shaft Taxation Relief Act of 2003
  4. Assorted Stupidity #119
  5. “Quirky” Lawyer Acquitted of Stalking; Concedes He Did “Meow Randomly on Occasion”
  6. Looks Like There’s No Ten-Code for “Officer on Hood of Moving Car”
  7. Court: No, It Wasn’t “Reasonable” to Lock Grandma Up With Male Inmates
  8. Wrong “Peter Brown” Brought in for Murder Sentencing Again

November 2018

  1. Scottish Grandpa Claims He Checked “Terrorist” Box on Visa Form by Mistake
  2. “Inchworm Bandits” Are Either Idiots or Comedy Geniuses
  3. Assorted Stupidity #118
  4. Lawmaker Injured by Flying Constitution
  5. United States v. 1855.6 Pounds of American Paddlefish Meat
  6. Australian’s 19-Year Squat Is Successful
  7. Assorted Election Stupidity
  8. Good Reason to Kill #74: Guy Pissed You Off in Antarctica

October 2018

  1. Canada to Legalize Witchcraft
  2. “Worst Robbers in Belgium” Agree to Come Back at Closing Time
  3. Now Go Away or I Shall Taunt You a Second Time
  4. Updates!
  5. Clown Says He Will Seek a Third Term
  6. Man Accused of Nude Swim With Sharks Also Wanted for Assault at Medieval Times
  7. Plaintiff Blames Fall on Free Drinks He May or May Not Have Consumed
  8. Good Reason to Kill #73: Took Your Seat During Karaoke
  9. Law Says Scotland Can No Longer Put the Shetland Islands in a Box
  10. Assorted Stupidity #117
  11. Seriously, Can We Get the Word Out Re: Water Escapes?
  12. Two More Attempted Water Escapes Fail

September 2018

  1. Court: No Tigers in Malibu
  2. Man Blames Tiny Clowns for Firearms Offense
  3. Rejected Applicant Sues Law Schools for Violating Magna Carta
  4. UPDATE: Judge Rules Province Has No Duty to Recognize Bigfoot
  5. Author of “How to Murder Your Husband” Accused of Murdering Husband
  6. “Crickets.”
  7. Lawmaker Agrees to Stop Administering Noogies to Public
  8. Indian Supreme Court Holds Wink Didn’t Violate Blasphemy Law

August 2018

  1. Good Reason to Kill #72: Appeared to Be Cheating at Golf
  2. Motion to Continue Because of Moose Attack
  3. Campaign Funds Used for Rabbit Travel
  4. Province’s Lawyers Claim Bigfoot Case “Lacks an Air of Reality”
  5. Assorted Stupidity #116
  6. Good Reason to Kill #71: Argued About Who’d Play Aretha Franklin in the Aretha Franklin Movie
  7. Canadian Rectal Smuggler Catches a Break on Appeal
  8. “Dumbest Insider Trading Crime I’ve Ever Seen” Was Pretty Dumb
  9. Bison-Taunter Arrested
  10. Speedboat Escape Is Exception That Proves the Rule

July 2018

  1. New Jersey May Declare an Official State Microbe
  2. Defendants File Non-Opposition to Plaintiff’s Motion for Leave to File Surreply to Motion for Leave to File Surreply
  3. Virginians! You Now Have an Extra 22 Hours to Kill Raccoons on Sunday
  4. Woman Accidentally Steals Car She Thought Was Her Rental
  5. Assorted Stupidity #115
  6. Majority Rejects “Mullet Doctrine” in Fourth Amendment Case
  7. Company Says Customer Breached Her Contract by Dying
  8. Second Circuit: Lewd “Grinch” Parody Doesn’t Infringe
  9. Barely Corrupt City Manager Doesn’t Resign
  10. Hilariously Corrupt EPA Director Resigns

June 2018

  1. In re: Sssotlohiefmjn v. Michigan State Police
  2. Brake v. Speed
  3. You Know Trial Went Poorly If the Judge Orders You Back to Law School
  4. DEA Asks for Help Laundering Money
  5. Australian Cyborg’s Conviction Overturned on Appeal
  6. Another Attempted Water Escape Fails
  7. Assorted Stupidity #114
  8. Plaintiffs Allege They Were “Forced” to Buy Quarter Pounders

May 2018

  1. Supreme Court: Get a Warrant Before You Invade Somebody’s Curtilage
  2. One Is a Beaver, the Other Is an Alligator
  3. Thirty-Year-Old Man Evicted From Parents’ Home
  4. Play-Doh Smell Trademarked
  5. Huang v. Hollywood
  6. “Justice for Simon”: Giant-Rabbit Case Survives Motion to Dismiss
  7. Shrubbery Nice, Not Too Expensive, But Also Not Probable Cause
  8. Good Reason to Kill #70: May Have Stolen Your Socks
  9. Prepare to Eat It, Giuliani-Style
  10. Assorted Stupidity #113

April 2018

  1. Do They Teach Proofreading at Yale?
  2. Ninth Circuit: Monkeys Have Standing to Sue in Federal Court
  3. Official State Crap: Georgia
  4. About That Religious Test
  5. Shortening the Massachusetts Oath of Office Probably Saved Lives
  6. Turns Out the “Boy Who Came Back From Heaven” Was in Ohio the Whole Time
  7. Assorted Stupidity #112
  8. Lawyer Who “Did Not Realize He Had Been Suspended” Seven Years Ago Will … Stay Suspended
  9. Mystery Justice Identified. Probably.
  10. City Ordered Not to Sue Resident for Complaining About Stench

March 2018

  1. Lawyer Dispute Escalates From Picture of Cat Playing Violin to Gunfire
  2. Guy With Axe Embedded in Roof of Car Gets Probation
  3. City Council Appeals Its Own Decision
  4. Spaghetti Arsonist in a Bull Onesie? I’m Guessing It’s Florida
  5. Hallucinating Romanian Story: “I Am a Deceased Man but Still Live”
  6. Fleeing Suspect Apprehended by His Car
  7. Assorted Stupidity #111
  8. Suspect’s Toilet Strike Ends After 47 Days—Successfully
  9. Plaintiff: California Must Admit the Truth About Bigfoot
  10. Court Orders Martin Shkreli to Forfeit Smirk
  11. First Amendment Exceptions That Might Allow Banning the Utah Legislature’s Rap Video
  12. BE IT ENACTED: There Is Fungus Among Us

February 2018

  1. Tomato Sauce Allegedly Links Suspect to Meatball Heist
  2. New Assault Charges for Rogue Canadian Golfer Who Tried to Escape on Ice Floe
  3. South Carolina Bill Would Require All Citizens to Wear Mom Jeans
  4. Sospechosos Con 4,000 Kilos de Naranjas No Saben de Dónde Vinieron
  5. Second Toddler Enjoys Lawyer-Themed Birthday Party
  6. Kansas Bill Would Require Governor to Be an Adult Human
  7. That Includes You, Sticky
  8. Court No Longer Recognizes Justice
  9. Suspect’s “Toilet Strike” Enters Third Week
  10. Some Updates

January 2018

  1. Suspect Who Asks About His “Other Murder Case” Is Charged With That One, Too
  2. Yep, That’s My Ferrari
  3. Grumpy Cat Wins $700,000 in Copyright Suit
  4. More Details (and Questions) About Mini-Nebraska
  5. Assorted Stupidity #110
  6. Nebraska Legislator Proposes Creation of Mini-Nebraska
  7. Oh, Good, Another “Official State Bible” Law
  8. Amicus Brief Cites Ferris Bueller to Great Effect
  9. Mr. Trump’s Demands
  10. Top Posts of 2017

2017 139

December 2017

  1. Assorted Stupidity #109
  2. Control of Virginia House May Be Determined by Selection From Bowler Hat
  3. Heroic Legislator Defends Right to Public Swearing
  4. “In It for Vengeance”: The Barry Glazer Story
  5. No, You Don’t Have to Swear an Oath to Hold Public Office
  6. Supreme Court Won’t Hear Louisiana Spouse-Swapping Case
  7. SF Supervisors Briefly Delay Robot Uprising
  8. Michigan Set to Legalize Year-Round Frog-Spearing

November 2017

  1. Court to Police: Nope, Sometimes “Fleeing” Is Just Jogging
  2. Assorted Stupidity #108
  3. Priority: Crocodiles
  4. Roy Moore’s Lawyer Accused of Uncomfortable Relationship With English Language
  5. California Adopts an Official Dinosaur
  6. Assorted Stupidity #107
  7. Landlord Who Banned “Coloured” Tenants Claims It Was About the Curry Smell
  8. Stop That Dancing! Unlicensed Cabarets Are Still Illegal in New York
  9. Of Course There Was a Comma in “I Want a Lawyer Dog”
  10. Terrifying Halloween Assortment!

October 2017

  1. Japanese Student Sues Over Dress Code Requiring Black Hair
  2. The Montreal Screaming Ticket (or, Everybody Dance Now)
  3. Law Meant to Discourage Stupidity Doesn’t Work
  4. Judge Criticized for Reading 138-Page Opinion From the Bench
  5. “Pretty Sure Stank Is Patented,” Lawyer Claims—But It’s Complicated
  6. Assorted Stupidity #106
  7. Anti-Mask Law Saddens Austrian Shark Mascot
  8. Grand Jury Indicts Officers in Student-Groping Case
  9. Judge Rejects Man’s Claim to Be “Some Sort of Agricultural Product”
  10. Lawyer Music Video Asks You Not to Call It “Velcro”

September 2017

  1. Canada May Legalize Drunken Canoeing
  2. Saudi Government Says It Will Let Women Drive
  3. Indicted DA Tries to Prevent Adverse Testimony by Marrying Witness
  4. O.J. Simpson Robbery Memorabilia Now Available
  5. Lawsuit Claims “Farley”-Brand “Fat Bikes” Infringe on Chris Farley
  6. Monkey-Selfie Case Settles
  7. King of Australia Says He’s Testing Its Court System
  8. Assorted Stupidity #105
  9. Bad Places to Hide: Atlantic Ocean

August 2017

  1. Lawyer “Devastated” by Theft of Office Frog
  2. Short-Subway-Sandwich Settlement Stupid, Says Seventh Circuit
  3. Assorted Stupidity #104
  4. Judge Denies Motion for Continuance Based on Eclipse
  5. Snake-Mailing Rules Revisited
  6. Juggalos Will March on Washington in September
  7. Good Reason to Kill #69: Magic the Gathering
  8. Alleged Lamppost Thief Has Trouble With Getaway
  9. “You Can’t Sue People for Being Mean to You, Bob”
  10. Prosecutor: “Premature” to Blame Jurors for Stealing Drugs

July 2017

  1. Assorted Stupidity #103
  2. It Is Not Illegal to Drive With an Axe Embedded in the Roof of Your Car
  3. Insufficient-Burping Defense Fails to Defeat DUI Charge
  4. O.J. Simpson: “I’ve Spent a Conflict-Free Life”
  5. They’re Brawling Again in Taiwan’s Parliament
  6. I NEEDED THIS PAGE
  7. Assorted Stupidity #102
  8. Court: Smashing Cameras Doesn’t Give You a “Reasonable Expectation of Privacy”
  9. Good Reason to Kill #68a: Disrespected by Yoda Fan
  10. Good Reason to Kill #68: Star Trek v. Star Wars
  11. High Court Vomits Truth in Frozen-Guru Case
  12. The Declaration of Independence

June 2017

  1. A Few Signs That Martin Shkreli Might Be In Some Trouble
  2. In New Hampshire, Pregnant Women No Longer Allowed to Kill With Impunity
  3. Can the Holy Spirit Participate in Jury Deliberations?
  4. Officer Claimed He Shot Philando Castile Because of Secondhand Smoke
  5. The Daddy Saddle
  6. Here’s to You, Future Plaintiff in Lawsuit Against Axe-Throwing Business
  7. Official State Crap: Illinois Again
  8. Trader Joe’s Pays Canadian Pirate to Retire
  9. Judge Denies Alleged Clown’s Motion to Juggle
  10. Georgia Cops Allegedly Grope 900 High-School Students, Are Probably in Some Trouble
  11. Ninth Circuit Breaks New Ground in Sexy-Cop Jurisprudence

May 2017

  1. Escape Charge Dismissed Because State Didn’t Prove Prison’s Location
  2. Assorted Stupidity #101
  3. Courthouse Deputy: “I Need to See Your Monkey”
  4. Oklahoma Accidentally Makes All Civil Litigation “Loser Pays”
  5. “Naked American Hero” Loses Challenge to TSA Fine
  6. Court: Lawyer Who Gave Himself Award Can’t Sue People Who Reported He Did That
  7. Man Who Will Never Date Again Sues Date for Cost of Movie Ticket [Updated]
  8. MUGABE SPOKESMAN: “The President Was Simply Resting His Eyes”
  9. Dueling Still Not Advisable in Oregon
  10. “This Case Is About More Than One Rabbit,” Says Lawyer for Owners of Giant Rabbit
  11. Lawyers Sit Motionless in Worst Music Video Ever
  12. Assorted Stupidity #100
  13. Here Comes Wisconsin With an Official Dairy Product
  14. Sovereign Citizen Convinces Jury He Is Innocent of No Charges

April 2017

  1. “Oh, Come On,” Says Chief Justice
  2. Good Reason to Kill #67: Enraged by Xylophone
  3. Bar Beats 500-Meter-Distance Rule With 500-Meter Maze
  4. Official State Crap: Illinois
  5. Official State Crap Alert: Bill Would Abolish Most Official State Crap
  6. Ninth Circuit Rejects Qualified Immunity in Moon-Rock Sting Case
  7. Police Warn Residents That Buglers May Be Operating in the Area
  8. Man Upset With $190 Ticket for Having His Snake Off Leash
  9. Report: Many DEA Cash Seizures Have “No Discernible Connection” to Law Enforcement
  10. Do Not Walk Your Dog WHILE DRIVING
  11. Frozen Guru Update IV

March 2017

  1. “Crafty Science” and the Law
  2. Why the “Six Ways Buzzfeed” Brief Is Less Than Amazing
  3. Is the President Immune From Civil Lawsuits?
  4. Bill Would Protect Climate-Change Deniers From Discrimination
  5. Two More Rivers Declared Persons
  6. River Declared a Person
  7. Guy Who Got a C on Constitutional-Amendment Paper GETS CONSTITUTION AMENDED
  8. The Oxford Comma: You Should Use It
  9. Judge Richard Posner: Cat Person
  10. Your Behaviour Is That of a Lunatic, Your Honor
  11. Lawyer’s Pants on Fire During Closing Argument
  12. Cow-Threatener’s Conviction Affirmed
  13. Idaho May Legalize Dachshund Racing
  14. More on the Quest of King Allan
  15. TAKE HEED AND REJOICE: King Allan of Gondor Hath Returned

February 2017

  1. Official State Crap: Florida
  2. Good News: The “Motion to Spread Death” Was Denied
  3. Latest Airport-Security Exploit: Walking Through in a Group
  4. Suspect Steals Mortuary Van, Finds Body Inside, Returns Both
  5. Bill Urges Texans to Use Correct Flag Emoji
  6. Luxuriate in the Octopoid Embrace of These Legal Postulations
  7. Police: Burglars Not Hard to Track in Snow
  8. Congratulations, Lady Who Shut Down Dance by Citing Obscure Law
  9. Woman Gets a Ticket for Parking Two Seconds Early
  10. Lawyer Who Wrote Torture Memos Has “Grave Concerns” About Trump
  11. Johnny Depp Allegedly Spent $3M to Blast Hunter S. Thompson Out of a Cannon
  12. Utah Supreme Court Affirms a Woman’s Right to Sue Herself
  13. Wait. Which One of You Was Injured Again?
  14. Administration Fails to Secure Its Own Conference Room

January 2017

  1. Assorted Stupidity #99.5
  2. “Spelling Bee Bandit” Arrested for String of Roberies
  3. Belgian Parliament Decides to Keep Serving Itself Free [?] Beer
  4. I’ll Show You a Run-On Sentence
  5. A Visual Study Guide for the New York Bar Exam
  6. Bill Would Provide Immunity for Accidentally Running Over Protesters
  7. “Downton Abbey” Congressman’s Indictment Is a Hoot
  8. About Those Folders
  9. ALERT: There Are No Lawyers in the Kansas Senate
  10. Good Reason to Kill #66: Took a Bite of Your Grilled-Cheese Sandwich
  11. “Drive” Litigation Still Running, Somehow
  12. Hot-Yoga Guy and His Cars Are Missing
  13. Some Announcements
  14. Defendants: “We Never Had a Pet Squirrel”
  15. Top Ten Posts of 2016

2016 140

December 2016

  1. Assorted Stupidity #99
  2. Banks Sued Over “Craptacular” Loan Practices
  3. Zamboni in the Drive-Thru: “Most Canadian Thing Ever”?
  4. Pagan Allowed to Wear Horns in License Photo
  5. Electoral College Update
  6. When Do We Graduate from the Electoral College?
  7. Good Reason to Kill #2: Yahtzee
  8. Good Reason to Kill #65: Played Computer Games “Too Often”
  9. Doody Convicts Rectal Smuggler
  10. Canadians Puzzled by Warning That Snow Globes May Cause Cancer
  11. Assorted Stupidity #98
  12. Solicitor Sues Oxford for Negligent Teaching
  13. Police Called Because Guy Won’t Stop Whistling “Closing Time”
  14. Seriously, Though: Nobody Has the Right to Appeal
  15. Court: Nobody Has the Right to Appeal

November 2016

  1. Update: Neil Armstrong’s Hair Is Still for Sale
  2. Assorted Updates
  3. Assorted Stupidity #97
  4. Criminal’s Modus Operandi Probably Just Means He Can’t Spell “Modus Operandi”
  5. Court Says Police Need to Make Time for “This Constitutional Bullshit”
  6. Justice Done in Canada With Convictions in Maple-Syrup Heist
  7. French Town That Banned UFOs Is Still Banning Them
  8. Lawyer Indicted for Impersonating a Judge Is Elected to Be Real Judge
  9. The Worst Presidential Race in American History
  10. National Guard Deployed to Seize One Marijuana Plant
  11. Tree Not Arrested

October 2016

  1. Tree Arrested
  2. Assorted Stupidity #96
  3. Archbishop Criticized for Mass Firing of Bellringers [Updated]
  4. British MP Demands Correct Pronoun for Royal Yacht
  5. BREAKING: Normans Amend English Legal System
  6. Good Reason to Kill #64: Threw Away Your Lego Collection
  7. How and Why to Delete Your Yahoo Account
  8. Congress Blames President for Law He Vetoed

September 2016

  1. Apple Seeks Patent for iBag
  2. 2016 Ig Nobel Prizes Awarded
  3. Rectal Smuggler Won’t Know Doody’s Position Until November
  4. Assorted Stupidity #95
  5. Man Who Shot Mother-in-Law Says He Was Aiming at an Armadillo
  6. Document-Phobia Defense Works in Sweden
  7. Frozen Guru Update III
  8. Battle of the Joes Is Back On
  9. Defendant Votes on His Own Indictment

August 2016

  1. Way Less Than You Need to Know About the Civil- and Common-Law Systems
  2. Cops Trash Home in 10-Hour Standoff With Dog
  3. Assorted Stupidity #94
  4. Good Reason to Kill #63: Golfing Too Slowly
  5. U.S. Patent No. 269,766: Do You Feel Lucky, Varmint?
  6. Defendant Says His Lawyer Lied; Asks Him for Help Remembering What the Lies Were
  7. Cat Insulted
  8. Assorted Stupidity #93
  9. Shark-Attack Lawsuit Raises Interesting Questions, Like What Were You Doing in the Ocean to Begin With
  10. IndyCampers Lose Despite Personal Appearance by Jesus
  11. Missouri’s Governor Appointed to Represent Criminal Defendant
  12. Garland Claims Longest-Wait Record from Brandeis
  13. Pants in the News

July 2016

  1. What Is Treason?
  2. Lowering the Bar Almost Makes Law360’s List of Top 5 Law Blogs
  3. Rick & Morty Read the Denver Allen Transcript
  4. Court Rules Donald Isn’t a Fascist
  5. CBP to Settle With Woman Forced to Pay Cost of Cavity Search
  6. Plaintiff Misses Response Deadline by About 21 Years
  7. Judge Challenges Defendant to Knit Her Way Out of Jail
  8. Take the LTB Supreme Court Trivia Quiz
  9. Tales of Humpty Doo
  10. Good Reason to Kill #62: Smirked When You Asked About That Viking Battle Axe
  11. Assorted Stupidity #92

June 2016

  1. Random Update: Convictions in Sham-Indian Case
  2. Defendant Holds Himself in Contempt (And It’s the Only Thing He Did Right)
  3. Assorted Stupidity #91
  4. IndyCampers Not Allowed to Call Queen Elizabeth to Testify
  5. Good Reason to Kill #61: Insisted the Earth Is Flat
  6. Is It Illegal to Use a Legal Name?
  7. How Do I Get a Reincarnation Permit?
  8. The $65-Million Pants Case: Chapter 28
  9. Praying Mantis Species Named After Justice Ginsburg
  10. Apparently He Left “War Criminal” Off His Resumé
  11. How to Write an Introduction (or How Not to)

May 2016

  1. Happy Memorial Day From the TSA
  2. Pond Ruins Yet Another Getaway
  3. Assorted Stupidity #90
  4. Google Awarded Patent for Sticky Cars
  5. A Case of “Struck by Turtle” (Almost)
  6. Board Strikes Down Rule Requiring Employees to Be “Positive”
  7. NZ Prime Minister Gets Thrown Out of Parliament
  8. “Do Not Destroy or Otherwise Dispose of the Paddle”
  9. Court: Musical Preference Doesn’t Prove Gang Membership
  10. Crime-Lab Chemist Was High While Testifying in Drug Cases
  11. And Then Job Spake, and Said, Let a Restraining Order Issue Against the Lord
  12. Again, Not a Great Place to Stand During an Argument
  13. Brief Argues Klingon Language Can’t Be Copyrighted

April 2016

  1. Targeted Advertising
  2. ALERT: Saturday Is the Last Day to Cash in Your $100-Trillion Bills
  3. Good Reason to Kill #60: Looked Exactly Like Shia LaBoeuf
  4. Again, Courts Frown on Feigning Sleep During Opponent’s Case
  5. Assorted Stupidity #89
  6. Dachshund Racing Declared Illegal in Idaho
  7. Shareholder Faces Erklärungsnot for Extra Saitenwürschtle
  8. “I Got You Cold, Mate,” Judge Tells Man Who Insulted Him on Facebook
  9. Governors Veto Official-Bible Bills
  10. The Tri-State Monkey Smuggle, and Other Stories
  11. Bill Would Let Cops “Field Test” Your Phone After an Accident
  12. Assorted Stupidity #88
  13. The TSA’s Million-Dollar App (and My Zero-Dollar Equivalent)
  14. Tennessee Legislature Votes to Make Bible the Official State Book
  15. Is It Illegal to Make Your Spouse Ride on the Roof of the Car?
  16. HR 1220: Urging Members to Stop Saying “Physical” Instead of “Fiscal”

March 2016

  1. Bad Places to Hide: Island in Alligator-Infested Lake
  2. Lawmaker: Bill Held Constitutional by “The Little Supreme Court in My Head”
  3. Sovereign Citizens Also Bothering Scotland
  4. Man Arrested 14 Years After Failing to Return Terrible Video
  5. Assorted Stupidity #87
  6. Defendant’s Attempt to Arrest Judge Does Not Go Well
  7. Spa Bandit Update
  8. TIP: Lawyer Who Sleeps for “Substantial Portion” of Trial Is Ineffective
  9. Assorted Stupidity #86
  10. Man Charged With Stealing 784,000 Quarters
  11. Has Your Boss Ever Pooped In Your Lunchbox?
  12. What’s Up With the “Trump University” Lawsuits?

February 2016

  1. “Audible Gasps” in Court as Justice Thomas Asks a Question
  2. Court: Not Prejudicial to Feign Sleep During Defense Argument
  3. Lord Hanuman Gets Another Court Summons
  4. Assorted Stupidity #85
  5. Arsonist Sets Own Shoes on Fire
  6. Oregon Occupier Files “Counter-Complaint” Against Feds and/or Devil
  7. Good Reason to Kill #59: Objected to Bagpipes
  8. Justice Antonin Scalia: An LTB Retrospective
  9. Is an Alligator a “Deadly Weapon”?
  10. “Happy Birthday” Settlement Reached; Song Would Enter Public Domain
  11. NOTE: Don’t Wear Pajamas to Court
  12. Assorted Stupidity #84
  13. Topless Gardener Scrapes Bottom of Barrel

January 2016

  1. Jury Laughs at Hot-Yoga Guy
  2. Kansas Senator Says Temptresses Must Cover Themselves
  3. Assorted Stupidity #83
  4. Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar II
  5. Village Votes to Keep Poorly Drawn and/or Racist Symbol
  6. Powerball Problems
  7. Monkey Loses Copyright Battle
  8. Stormtrooper Arrested

2015 210

December 2015

  1. DWI Charge Dismissed Because Driver Was a Gut-Brewer
  2. Good Reason to Kill #58: Star Wars Spoiler
  3. Last-Minute Gift Suggestions
  4. Canada Now Challenging U.S. for Lead in Zamboni DUI Arrests
  5. Assorted Stupidity #82
  6. Museum Sued for Art Depicting Jesus as White
  7. Follow the Chicken, Dramatized
  8. You Know, Karl, There Have Also Been Criminals Named “Karl”
  9. Indiana Briefly Considered Fining Bad Anthem Singers
  10. In Michigan, You May Now Dance to the National Anthem
  11. Gollum Experts to Testify, Says Court
  12. Assorted Stupidity #81
  13. Utah Woman Charged With Causing Egg Catastrophe

November 2015

  1. Man’s Spider Hunt Mistaken for Domestic Violence
  2. Really Bad Murder Plot Uncovered Partly by Spelling Mistake
  3. Lawsuit Alleges Sherman Tank Damaged by “the Elements”
  4. Australian Police Searching for Motorized-Picnic-Table Riders
  5. A Swift Dismissal
  6. Hey, It Ain’t “Deadly Force” to Drop a Tree on a Guy
  7. Raiders Player Faces Dog-Taunting Charges
  8. Ideas Too Good to Patent
  9. Nothing to See Here: People Who Sell Lottery Tickets Are Just Really Lucky
  10. TSA Update: Still Failin’
  11. PLEASE TAKE NOTICE of the Short-Subway-Sandwich Settlement

October 2015

  1. What You Need to Know About Haunted-House Law
  2. Good Reason to Kill #57: Barred You From Monopoly Tournament for Unsportsmanlike Conduct
  3. Efficient Client Service?
  4. Assorted Stupidity #80
  5. Dancing Suddenly Okay Again in Cottonwood Heights
  6. It’s the Texas Law Hawk Again
  7. Driving While Caffeinated?
  8. No Dancing in Cottonwood Heights
  9. Accused Italian Cheese Witch May Get New Trial
  10. Finally, a Use for Periscope
  11. Meerkat Expert Liable for Injuring Monkey Handler in Llama-Keeper Dispute
  12. Jury Finds for 12-Year-Old In Closely Watched Hugging Case
  13. Randy Quaid Caught Trying to Sneak Back Into U.S.
  14. Council Takes “Wrath of God” Resolution Off the Agenda
  15. Goat-Slayer Running for Senate
  16. D.C. Prepares to Name an Official Amphipod

September 2015

  1. Good News: Cops Now Slightly More Likely to Lube You First
  2. Guy Steals Four Million Pounds of Oranges
  3. Have You Ever Paid Royalties for Singing “Happy Birthday”?
  4. Insane Clown Posse Wins Appeal
  5. Texas Police Won’t Charge Muslim Boy With Clock Possession
  6. “God Would Not Go Around With Pants Down,” Says Councilman
  7. BREAKING: O.J. Simpson Freed
  8. Ninth Circuit: Big Mountain Jesus Can Stay Put
  9. Assorted Stupidity #79
  10. Yes, You Could Get a DWI on a Barbie Jeep
  11. TIP: Destroy Sensitive Documents With Shredder, Not Chicken Farm
  12. Teens Charged With Exploiting Themselves
  13. Lawsuit Blames Negligent Six-Year-Old

August 2015

  1. Gerrymanderers Miss One Person
  2. Upon Further Review, I Don’t Know What to Think
  3. “Arabic Terror Message” Actually Said “Welcome Home” in Hebrew
  4. Alleged Hypno-Lawyer Disbarred
  5. Kansas Senator: Terrorists Could Infiltrate Fort Leavenworth by … Submarine?
  6. The Torch Has Been Passed
  7. Airport Security Seizes Three-Year-Old’s Fart Gun
  8. Costumed Bear Harasser Wanted by Authorities, Evolution
  9. "Home of Throwed Rolls" Sued for Throwin’ Rolls
  10. Wet Willy and Mr. Nub
  11. All-Purpose Order Denying Motion to Seal
  12. Cops: We “Expected Privacy” Because We Tried to Smash All the Cameras
  13. “Game of Thrones” Fan Demands Trial by Combat
  14. Norwegian Inmate Slowly Paddles to Freedom
  15. TIP: He’s Probably Not Going to Show Your Snake to His Girlfriend
  16. Assorted Stupidity #78

July 2015

  1. Toddler Enjoys Lawyer-Themed Birthday Party
  2. TSA: Terror Sorority Alert
  3. Morrissey Claims TSA Officer Groped Him
  4. New TSA Administrator Explains, Part II
  5. New TSA Administrator to Explain How Agency Will Fail Differently From Now On
  6. Town Says It Will Prosecute Official (Part II)
  7. Town Says It Will Prosecute Official Who Did Something Useful
  8. Judge Orders Defendant to Draw Him
  9. Danny Trejo Does a Lawyer Ad
  10. Assorted Stupidity #77
  11. If New Horizons Hit My Car, Could the Insurance Company Raise My Rates?
  12. Man Says He Danced on Police Car’s Roof to Summon Aid Against Vampires
  13. Klingon Used in Official Correspondence
  14. Eric Holder Begins New Career in Comedy
  15. Judge: Hulkster Limited at Trial to “One Plain Bandana”
  16. Donald Trump Sued Scotland
  17. Man Ordered to Pay for Shooting Down Trespassing Drone
  18. Some Judges Show Up for Jury Duty. Some Don’t. And Some Lawyer Up.

June 2015

  1. The Continuing Argle-Bargle
  2. The Argle-Bargle Over This Jiggery-Pokery Is Pure Applesauce
  3. Spider-Man Clings to Wall of Supreme Court
  4. Jury Clears Mascot in Hot-Dog-Flinging Case
  5. Good Reason to Kill #56: Disagreed About the Value of a College Education
  6. U.S. Government: Lasers are Evil
  7. Frozen Guru Update II
  8. Legislator Admits Voting While Under Influence of Facebook
  9. Naked Rambler Loses Another Appeal
  10. California Town Calls for Ban on Space Weapons
  11. Dressing Like a Prisoner Could Get You Out of Jury Duty, One Way or Another
  12. Things Not to Say to Employees #1-5
  13. TSA Can Improve Aviation Worker Vetting
  14. MOM! I’m Representing Myself, Okay?! God!
  15. I Should Stress That TSA Detected Well Over Four Percent of The Fake Threats
  16. UPDATES!
  17. TSA Successfully Passes Three Security Tests
  18. Criminal-Defense Attorney May Be Criminal Defense Attorney

May 2015

  1. Led Zeppelin Admits “Exceptional Talent,” Denies All Other Allegations
  2. Cleveland Police Agree to Stop Hitting People on the Head With Guns
  3. Is It Still Robbery If You Just Ask Nicely?
  4. Other Things to Read!
  5. Police Report Says 12-Year-Old’s Crime Was “Abated by Death” (After They Shot Him)
  6. Judge Ignores Defense Lawyer Who Is an Owl
  7. The Octopus: Honorary Vertebrate?
  8. Okay, Who’s Gonna Go Argue That the Nun Threatened National Security?
  9. Bumbling Australian ATM Thief of the Week
  10. Assorted Stupidity #76
  11. Judge Rules Man Fathered Only One Twin
  12. God’s Class Action Dismissed
  13. God Files Class Action Against Gay People
  14. Dead Guy Sentenced to Six Months (Suspended)
  15. DEA Agent: If You Legalize Pot, Rabbits Will Get High
  16. Assorted Stupidity #75

April 2015

  1. Plaintiff: Disney Promised to Help Me Build an X-Wing. Court: No It Didn’t
  2. Official State Crap: District of Columbia
  3. It “May Appear to Some to Be a ‘Rant’ of Sorts”
  4. “To F— This Court and Everything That It Stands For”
  5. NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit
  6. “Crybaby Killer” Who Tortured Victims With Parrot Gets 40 Years
  7. Good Reason to Kill #55: Dissed Your Smartphone
  8. Defendant Pleads Guilty to Kicking an Owl While Paragliding
  9. Court Holds Wedding Ring Is Not a “Weapon”
  10. Groping Conspiracy Thwarted, TSA Claims [Updated]
  11. A Few Tax Arguments Not to Make
  12. Of Course We Have No Ticket Quotas, But ….
  13. Chillin’ With a Owl: Followup
  14. Assorted Stupidity #74
  15. Slaves Forced to Help With Guinness-World-Record Attempt
  16. Men Filmed Chillin’ With a Owl Were Violatin’ Migratory Bird Treaty Act
  17. Progress on the Police-Filming Front
  18. Good Reason to Kill #54: Was Eating All the Salsa

March 2015

  1. Judge Criticizes “Behemoth Pleadings”
  2. Prosecutor Declines to Prosecute Himself
  3. Sufficiently Notorious Convicted Felon Identified?
  4. Texas Bill Would Make It Illegal for You to Film a Cop Beating You
  5. The Most Interesting Carpool-Lane Ruse in the World
  6. Minor Wordfoolery, Way Updated
  7. Court: Obligation to Make Sense May Not Be Delegated to Client
  8. Minor Wordfoolery in Today’s Supreme Court Opinion
  9. Whereas, South Florida Should Become the 51st State
  10. Notorious Felon and Terrorist Has No Trouble Flying, Thank You Very Much [Updated]
  11. FBI Investigating Ridiculous Soon-to-Be-Former Congressman
  12. Dursts Confused
  13. Judge Attacked by His Dad’s Pet Zebra [Updated]
  14. Bad Disguise #8: Spray Paint
  15. Judge Caught Driving Defendant’s Car Says He Was “Just Looking After It”
  16. Accused Fraudster Strapped His Ankle Bracelet to a Robot
  17. “The Cause of Action is Denied as Unintelligible”
  18. Feds Say They Have Accused Fraudster’s Ankle Bracelet in Custody
  19. It’s Just a Flesh Wound
  20. Assorted Stupidity #73
  21. Judge Wanted: Must Be Able to Read, Tell Time
  22. “Haulin’ Oats”? No Can Do
  23. Please Read This Before Bombing New Mexico
  24. How Did That Taster’s Choice Case Turn Out?
  25. California Supreme Court Report
  26. Program Note

February 2015

  1. A Fish Is a Tangible Object, You Say? The Majority Didn’t Describe It That Way
  2. Twitter Takedown of Scottish Scam [Updated]
  3. Caption Contest Results
  4. Followup to the Camera-Comment Controversy
  5. Male Legislator Asks If Swallowed Camera Could Be Used for Gynecology
  6. FYI, the Secretary of the Treasury is Not “Moe Money”
  7. Assorted Stupidity #72
  8. Caption Contest! [Update]
  9. Utah Court Says Woman Can Sue Herself
  10. Two More Drunk-Driving Excuses to Cross Off the List [Updated]
  11. Heiress Sentenced to One Year on Nut-Rage Charges
  12. Writer Says Charles Manson’s Girlfriend Only Wants His Body
  13. Another Zamboni DUI
  14. Aggravated Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy
  15. An Unfortunate Alias
  16. Tenth Circuit Forced to Diagram Congressional Sentence
  17. Order on One Millionth Discovery Dispute
  18. Judge: Give Back Lee Harvey’s Coffin
  19. Is Your Local Courthouse Infested With Bats?
  20. MUGABE SPOKESMAN: Even Jesus Would Have Tripped
  21. Bobby Chen Promises Supreme Court He Will Show Up This Time
  22. Sauron’s Ring Makes Brains Disappear
  23. “A Manson Wedding Did Not Take Place”
  24. Defendants Settle With Student Arrested for Possessing Arabic Flashcards
  25. Just Because You Did It…

January 2015

  1. S.F. Cops Arrest Public Defender for Publicly Defending
  2. TSA Saves Public From Air Pirates!
  3. Assorted Stupidity #71
  4. Can I Use the Carpool Lane If I Have a Prisoner?
  5. Police: Suspect Is White Male, Average Height & Build, Has Mouth, Two Eyes
  6. Again, Accused Taggers Should Reconsider Tagging the Courthouse
  7. Jury Finds for Rick Springfield in Buttocks-Assault Case
  8. Expert: Invitation to Child’s Party Not Enforceable
  9. Tom & Jerry Go to Court
  10. Counsel, That’s Not Your Normal Speaking Voice, Is It?
  11. Nobody Move! This Is a Film Project
  12. Nude Citizens Make Nude Citizens’ Arrest of Nude Citizen
  13. Objection: Annoying
  14. Supreme Court Litigant Fails to Show Up
  15. Ride Something Dangerous Down a Hill Today
  16. Ah, La Stupidité, Elle Brûle!
  17. Kirby Delauter, Sherbert Deluder
  18. Best Friends Allege They Were Fired After Swapping Wives
  19. Man Known for Deadly Roach Incident Charged With Lizard Battery
  20. Frozen Guru Update

2014 256

December 2014

  1. NOTE: Trying to Blow Up an ATM Could Backfire
  2. President Adopts Potential Werewolf
  3. Assorted Stupidity #70
  4. Can a Convicted Felon Serve in Congress?
  5. Siberian Tax Collectors Reportedly Holding Cats Hostage
  6. Santa Robs Bank During SantaCon, Blends Into SantaCrowd
  7. Police Department Ends Its “Voluntary Search” Program
  8. Mom Calls C-SPAN Show to Tell Her Sons to Get Along
  9. Pet Piercing Will Soon Be Illegal in New York
  10. What Does a Security-Camera Thief Look Like?
  11. Court Suggests Plaintiff Could Have Grounded His Brain
  12. Who Owns Lee Harvey Oswald’s Coffin?
  13. Assorted Stupidity #69
  14. Could Someone Ask Bobby Chen to Call the U.S. Supreme Court?
  15. Harvard Grad Threatens Legal Action Over $4 Charge
  16. “Grappling With a Drunk Zebra Is Not the Easiest Thing in the World”
  17. Texas Bill Would Ban “Affluenza” Defense
  18. Assorted Stupidity #68
  19. House Unanimously Agrees Nazis Are Bad
  20. Good Reason to Kill #52: Started Thanksgiving Early, and #53: Ate All the Leftovers

November 2014

  1. FOLLOWUP: Also Don’t Point Anything at an Officer. Even a Banana.
  2. Just Say No to Internal Checkpoints. Preferably After Breathing Helium.
  3. Ferguson Grand Jury Evidence (WARNING: NON-COMEDIC POST)
  4. Court Unconvinced by Lawyer Dressed as Thomas Jefferson
  5. Tribunal Reinstates Man Fired for Chicken-Dance Harassment
  6. UPDATE: Manson Camp Denies Wedding-Registry Claims
  7. Montana’s Roadkill-Harvest Law Getting Lots of Use
  8. Manson: Also Registered at Pottery Barn, Target, Amazon, Walmart, and Macy’s
  9. The Mansons Are Registered at Bed Bath & Beyond
  10. Woman Alleges Vicious Beagle Slain by Noble Pit Bulls
  11. Various Plaintiffs v. Various Defendants
  12. “The Huge Duck Scared Me,” Says Woman Ticketed for Failing to Yield to It
  13. Scientists’ Earthquake-Manslaughter Convictions Overturned
  14. “The Singing Was Quite Beautiful But Was Preventing Me From Hearing the Evidence”
  15. UPDATE: Rick Springfield’s Butt Will Face Retrial
  16. You Think So?
  17. U.S. Pat. No. 8605152: Method for Filming a Yoga Class
  18. Teacher Pleads No Contest to Toilet-Shooting Charge
  19. Assorted Stupidity #67
  20. I Bet That Finger Wasn’t Even Loaded

October 2014

  1. TSA Confiscates Ray-Gun-Shaped Belt Buckle
  2. Sheriff: We Need Armored Vehicles to Intimidate People
  3. Fight Over Alcohol Ban Ends When Town Learns It Doesn’t Have One
  4. Whom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make Mad
  5. Guy Sues Legal System Again
  6. Coma-Faker Pleads Guilty to Fraud
  7. You’re Paying for a Nazi’s Retirement [or Are You?]
  8. Good Reason to Kill #17.1: Lost at Beer Pong
  9. The 2014 Ig Nobel Prizes
  10. Did You Pack This Nobel Prize Yourself?
  11. Beer Verdict Reversed in Alcohol Case
  12. The Defendant Seems to Have Left, Your Honor
  13. A Fun Quiz on Military-Style Police Tactics
  14. High Court of Justice Resolves Driveway Dispute
  15. John Oliver on Civil Forfeiture
  16. Woman Seeks Damages for Damage Caused by Woman
  17. Good Reason to Kill #51: Told My Wife to Keep Her Shirt On
  18. What Is the Proper Format for a Citation to Buzz Lightyear?
  19. Okay, Somebody Did Survive Being Sucked Into a Jet Engine
  20. Injury Code V97.33XD: Sucked Into Jet Engine (Subsequent Encounter)
  21. TSA Finds It Correctly Punished Naked Protester
  22. Larry Craig Can’t Catch a Break

September 2014

  1. Legally Dead Man Sentenced to Be Actually Dead
  2. BREAKING: Officers Do Not Kill Suspect
  3. Property Dispute Resolved With Chainsaw
  4. Polygamist Ninja Women Unprepared for Swordplay
  5. The Screaming Itches
  6. Study Group “Confidentiality Agreement” Immediately Disclosed
  7. Suspension Likely for Lawyer Who Photoshopped Herself Into Celebrity Photos
  8. “I Am Incompetent!” Lawyer Argues Unnecessarily
  9. Assorted Stupidity #66
  10. Good Reason to Kill #50: Would Not Buy a Hat
  11. You’re Not Fooling Anybody, Clown
  12. Headnote of the Day: Prison Doghouse Incident
  13. Actually, We Were Wondering How You Signed the Claim Forms
  14. Congress: Please Don’t Ask Us to Declare War; We Might Say No
  15. ADVISORY: Do Not Attempt to Yank Down the Shorts of a U.S. Marshal
  16. Steps
  17. Hipster Opponent Convicted of Making False Reports
  18. Order Requiring Socks
  19. In Other Child-Care News
  20. U.S. Pat. No. 8,782,827: Infant Soothing Device
  21. Severe Chelyabinsk Disney
  22. Author Arrested for Writing About Murder in the 30th Century [Updated]
  23. Notice: Unlawful Behavior Prohibited

August 2014

  1. TSA: Timely Sword Advice
  2. Again, Goodwill Does Not Accept Skull Donations
  3. Mullet Gang Convictions Reversed
  4. Sovereign Citizen’s SUV Loaded With Chickens & Ammo
  5. Assorted Stupidity #65
  6. Stoner Arrested on Pot Charges
  7. Town Sues All Its Citizens
  8. Copyright Office Weighs in on Monkey Pictures
  9. Meta Mug Shot
  10. Meanwhile in Florida, Pants Continue to Vex
  11. Feds Say Legally Dead Is Slightly Alive
  12. Quadrigamist Tripped Up by Facebook Photos of Fourth Wedding
  13. In Which I Am Used to Embarrass Fox News
  14. Ferguson Cops Once Charged a Guy With Bleeding on Their Uniforms
  15. Judge Rejects the Queen’s Claim for Back Wages
  16. Burglar Defeated by Door Marked “Push”
  17. Happiness
  18. Man Arrested After Beating Deputies in Doughnut-Eating Contest
  19. A Musical Immigration-Law Ad
  20. Fight Continues Over Right to Monkey Selfie
  21. An Intentionally Funny Lawyer Ad
  22. SWAT Team Called to Deal With 90-Year-Old Woman
  23. Monkey Impersonators Hired to Deal With Parliament’s “Big Monkey Menace”

July 2014

  1. Well, Somebody Doesn’t Know What “Homophones” Are
  2. CIA Admits It Spied on Senate Investigation of CIA
  3. Judge Skeptical of Joe Francis’s Explanation
  4. Brain Scientist Waves Gun Around at Airport
  5. Seattle Still Looking for Skull Donors
  6. Police Wait Patiently for Man in Pond to Surrender
  7. Hey, I’m Appearing on FOX
  8. U.S. Patent App. No. 20140159444: Airline Passenger Torture Device
  9. The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways When He Gets Behind the Wheel of a 2006 Pontiac Grand Prix
  10. After Bar Fight, Cubs Are Fed Up with Unofficial Mascot
  11. Drunk Successfully Gropes Two While Posing as TSA Agent
  12. TSA Employees Still Unsure About District of Columbia
  13. Insane Clown Posse Will Appeal Loss in “Juggalo Gang” Case
  14. A Week of Weird-Law Posts at The Volokh Conspiracy
  15. Police in Sexting Case Want to Take Photo of Teen’s … No, That Can’t Be Right
  16. The Guano Islands Act and So Forth
  17. Napping Fan Sues ESPN and MLB for Allegedly Mocking Him
  18. Guest-Blogging at The Volokh Conspiracy
  19. Hose-Entanglement Case Filed in Louisiana
  20. Where Not to Write the Password for Your Fancy Data-Mining Software
  21. Further Facebook Follies
  22. Burglar Succumbs to Facebook Addiction

June 2014

  1. Bad Attitude Costs Texas in Fee Dispute
  2. Police: Guy Who Stole Bird Costume Wasn’t Hard to Find
  3. Is a Contract Written on Toilet Paper Enforceable?
  4. Supreme Court: Want to Search a Cellphone? “Get a Warrant.”
  5. New York to Ban Tiger Selfies
  6. “Doctor.”
  7. UPDATE: “Balloon Boy” Saga Is Now a Musical
  8. Tagger Arrested for Tagging Courtroom While Awaiting Prosecution for Tagging
  9. Jargon Users Need to Circle Back and Get All Their Ducks in a Row
  10. The Emergency Sasquatch Talk
  11. Good Reason to Kill # 49: Second Incorrect Burger
  12. Assorted Stupidity #63
  13. The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance Is Now E-Available
  14. No Winners in Judge-Lawyer Throwdown
  15. Superheroes Must Be Able to Do Five Pull-Ups, Group’s Leader Says
  16. Pi Trademarked (Sort Of)

May 2014

  1. Court to Decide Whether Guru Is Dead or Just “In Deep Meditation”
  2. Call for Transcripts
  3. “Like Your Client, This Claim Won’t Fly”
  4. Official Who Kicked Protester Reports Leg Trauma
  5. High Elf Update
  6. “The Parties Do Not Need a Judge; They Need a Rather Stern Kindergarten Teacher”
  7. Assorted Stupidity #62
  8. Senate Candidate Has Four Favorite Justices, Probably
  9. Fingolfin Defeated Again by Morgoth (This Time in Portland)
  10. Former Giant Tased After Drunken Scooter Chase
  11. How Long Would It Take Ted Olson to Bill Two Octillion Gigadollars?
  12. Two-Undecillion-Dollar Demand Spells Trouble for Au Bon Pain
  13. Sign Installer Cited for Violating Rule on the Sign He Was Installing
  14. Anybody Missing a Coffin Full of Weapons?
  15. Florida Won’t Protect Right to Bear Arms During a Zombie Apocalypse
  16. Assorted Stupidity #61

April 2014

  1. A Zinger From 1877
  2. What Is a Photocopier?
  3. “MURDER” Tattoo Update: It’s to Be Turtlenecks in August
  4. Lawsuit Alleges Duck Attack
  5. A Good Reason Not to Tattoo “MURDER” on Your Neck
  6. Fish Waved in Parliament
  7. TSA Turns Away Mute Stroke Victim
  8. Judge Posner Blasts Banana Lady
  9. Abnormal Use Reviews My Book; Crayons Involved Again
  10. Get a Smell at These Emails
  11. Peeps in Law Contest: Voting is Open
  12. Neighborhood Bully Sentenced to a Day of Taunting
  13. Leaked Report Says CIA Tortured Illegally; Feinstein’s Mad Somebody Leaked It
  14. Baby Walks
  15. Baby Fingerprinted
  16. FBI on the Trail of the “Good[-]Grammar Bandit” [Updated]
  17. TSA Fines “Naked American Hero” $500
  18. Louisiana Debates Which Holy Bible to Make Official State Book
  19. Insurers Demand $2 Million for Negligent Squirrel-Torching
  20. Baby Indicted
  21. Axes, Giant and Otherwise
  22. All Work and No Play Makes Court Reporter a Dull Boy
  23. Congratulations to the Contest Winners

March 2014

  1. Man Robs Shoe Store, Serves 15 Years, Robs It Again
  2. Legislator Opposed to Violent Video Games Is Charged With Arms Dealing
  3. Bugles Banned From New 49er Stadium [UPDATE]
  4. Congratulate DNI James Clapper on His Rosemary Award
  5. Peeps in Law Contest 2014
  6. Sasquatch Goes to Harvard
  7. Assorted Stupidity #60
  8. Losing Plaintiff Hits Defendant With a Truck
  9. The TSA and the Scent Grenade, Part II: Spicebomb! [Correction]
  10. TSA Confuses Perfume Bottle With a Grenade
  11. Stupid Warning Shows Up on Leprechaun Hat
  12. Dear Falkland Islanders Who Want to Buy My Book
  13. Model Teed Off at Man Who Teed Off on Her
  14. “Bound by Honor to Defy a Judge … and Eat a Document”
  15. Good Riddance to Hampton, Florida?
  16. Win a Copy of The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance
  17. About the Author
  18. Bieber Deposed
  19. This Defense Attorney Got “Street Knowledge,” Yo
  20. Needless 911: Can’t Get This Jacket Off and I’m Pissed About It!
  21. Facebook “SUCK IT” Costs Dad $80,000
  22. The Gift of the Yeti
  23. Official State Crap: Delaware

February 2014

  1. Potential Juror’s Hardship Excuse: I Am Having a Heart Attack. Judge: It Can Wait
  2. “I Don’t Think We Accept These,” Says TSA Agent, Peering at D.C. License [Update]
  3. That’s an Omnibus Act All Right
  4. Price Gouging Blamed for Broken Tooth
  5. Accused Videotape-Keeper Beats the Rap
  6. Pacifists Get Jail Term for Making Country Safer
  7. Updates on the Video-Rental Crime of the Century
  8. Customers Who Viewed The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance Also Viewed….
  9. Woman Arrested Nine Years After Failing to Return Rented Video
  10. Denial of PlayStation 3 Games Is “Torture,” Complains Mass Murderer
  11. Today’s Huffington Post Segment
  12. Rubber-Duck-Race Bill Expected to Pass in Wisconsin
  13. Correction of the Day (A Few Days Ago)
  14. Court Finds Fan Club Members Were Harmed by Michael Jackson’s Death
  15. Government Bravely Prosecutes Nun for Embarrassing It
  16. Sasquatch in the Emergency Room
  17. New Tax Strategy: Trip and Fall at the IRS Office
  18. Some Words About That Badass Lawyer Ad [Updated]
  19. Watch This Lawyer’s Super Bowl Ad While I Try to Find Words to Describe It
  20. FAA Nixes Beer Delivery by Drone

January 2014

  1. Sasquatch Sightings Spreading, Say Some
  2. Sasquatch Sighting in University of Tennessee Law Library
  3. New Bill Would Make It a Crime to Punch Someone in the Head
  4. Good Reason to Kill #48: Asked Wrong Question After State of the Union
  5. Assorted Stupidity #59
  6. Breaking: Professional Fabulist Denied License to Practice Law
  7. Look, Just Because You Think of Something, You Don’t Have to Patent It
  8. ESO Buying Options
  9. On Huffington Post Live Today
  10. Book Update
  11. How (and Why) to Get The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance
  12. Guy Mad About Lack of Due Process Says President Should Be Executed Without Trial
  13. Flying Kick Delivered During Debate in Turkish Parliament
  14. New Mexico Colon-Invasion Case Settles for $1.6 Million
  15. Good Reason to Kill #47: More Than 20 Items in the Express Lane
  16. Judge Rules for Plaintiff in No-Fly Case
  17. Bieber Faces Felony Egging Charge
  18. Colorado Removes “420” Mile Marker
  19. Be on the Lookout
  20. Portland Pimp Has a Point (But Suit Is Still Stupid)
  21. Juggalos Sue FBI Again
  22. Man in Tree to Police: “I’m an Owl”
  23. PTO Rules “Redskins” Trademark Is Derogatory
  24. Ninth Circuit: The Shape of a Hookah Can’t Be Copyrighted
  25. Coders, Know Your Rights
  26. Atomic Wedgie Cited as Cause of Death
  27. Skull Artist Helps Catch Brain Thieves
  28. Return of the Duct Tape Bandit

← 2010–2013