The Curious Engineer

One Foot Tsunami

2017–2021

1,300 posts

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2021 261

December 2021

  1. Who Would Do This, AT&T?
  2. “A Free Market Economy” Is a Terrible Excuse
  3. Cosmo the Talking Crow
  4. Alexa the Psychopath
  5. An Imaginary Enemy, Defeated Once Again
  6. A Community of Christmas Light Stringers
  7. Sleep With a View
  8. They’re Still Going to Want Your Phone Number
  9. A Well-Reviewed Hitman Is a Happy Hitman
  10. Bravo, Andy Corren
  11. Logic Saves Lives
  12. I Was So Blind
  13. Nike’s Going to Sell Virtual Shoes
  14. Perhaps the Worst Yellow Card in History
  15. Don’t Not Eat at Bros
  16. Possible, Even Likely
  17. A Lack of Integrity in Missouri
  18. Brian Kelly’s Sudden Accent
  19. Was He Cleaning His House Naked?
  20. We Know He’s Got Real Balls
  21. Back by Underwhelming Not-That-Popular Demand
  22. Maybe Switch to Haircutting
  23. Stuck at the Pub

November 2021

  1. Julie Anne Genter Kicks Ass
  2. Caligula’s Coffee Table
  3. I Feel Safer Already
  4. A Giant Rebar Silhouette of a Chicken
  5. Poor Bill 34
  6. New Jersey’s New Jersey Says “Jersey”
  7. The 2021 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
  8. Even in Clemency, This Was Cruel and Unusual
  9. Everything Is Dumb, So Let’s Get Drunk on Roast Beef Vodka
  10. A Boat For Samuel Whittemore
  11. Both Wasteful and Harmful
  12. Beyond Biblical
  13. 750 Chicken Balls
  14. A Baby Swap
  15. They Got Scammed At Least Twice
  16. Dominance in the Form of a Sack, an Interception, and a Fumble Recovery
  17. Dissection Without Dignity
  18. Marriage by Proxy
  19. Despite Claims to the Contrary, Siri Is Not Actually Good at Sports
  20. Charging for Involuntary Services
  21. This Hat Should Not Exist
  22. Rest In Peace and Pizza, RemDawg

October 2021

  1. Even Meat Might Want to Look at Rebranding
  2. Let’s All Try Shutting Up a Bit More
  3. “Looters” and “Rioters” Yes, “Victims” No
  4. I Get It
  5. The Braindead School
  6. We’re All Fennec Foxes Now
  7. It Really Only Moves in One Dimension
  8. Zebras on the Run
  9. Firing the Wizard of New Zealand
  10. He’ll Never Forget Those Directions
  11. Plausible but Also Ridiculous
  12. No Police Action Was Taken Against the Pair
  13. The Weary Affleck
  14. Plane-Eating Bridges
  15. Try Not to Get COVID or Mono
  16. The Big Rick
  17. An Adorable, Violent Little Gang
  18. Celebrating the Beauty of Fat Bears
  19. Treat Yourself to Mom’s Spaghetti
  20. Bill Gross Is Gross
  21. Try

September 2021

  1. Restoring Vision With the Amazing Power of CRISPR
  2. One Old Artist With Nothing Better to Do
  3. Joe Mande’s Pandemic Hats
  4. 360 Extra Votes
  5. Guardianship of Keanu
  6. Why Alan Braid Violated Texas’s Extreme Abortion Ban
  7. I’m Over the Moon Coverage
  8. September 21 Is Finally Here!
  9. Look at Those Ears Go
  10. Such an Honor
  11. Perhaps It’s a Clue
  12. A Replacement Seems Like a Bare Minimum
  13. Mr. Goxx the Crypto Trading Hamster
  14. The Opportunity Cost of Ivermectin
  15. Siri’s Atrocious Fielding Percentage
  16. Now It’s Everyone’s Problem
  17. Domino’s Dumpster Dough
  18. Perhaps We Need Stricter Licensing for Both Firearms and Reproduction
  19. That Would Surely Be for the Public Good
  20. Turn Off Location Services on Your Phone and Just Get a Gun
  21. Mitigating Ventilator Shortages With Butt Breathing
  22. A Superb Shot

August 2021

  1. The Atheist Chief Chaplain
  2. Eat Fast, Die Young, and Leave a Bloated Corpse
  3. I Suppose Cars Might Be a Decent Source of Iron
  4. The Time Has Come for Octopus Ultimate Frisbee
  5. Come Ride the Spine Snapper
  6. That Seems About Right
  7. A Better Brick
  8. This Clutter Paid for by Amazon
  9. The Place for Adults to Marry Kids
  10. A Stain on Our Identity
  11. The Secret Life of Bee Rustlers
  12. Striped Hyena Are Avid Collectors
  13. Fighting for the Free Speech Rights of Scabby the Labor Rat
  14. Communication Is Key
  15. The Brockstar Continues to Set Records
  16. Fecal Transplants for Brain Health
  17. Remotely Controlled Robot Waiters
  18. Android’s Cursed Emoji Mergers
  19. QAnon Convinced the Father of a Parkland Shooting Survivor That It Was All a Hoax
  20. Now That’s a Conversation Piece
  21. An Unexpected Consequence of Drug Abuse
  22. Dogs Know What’s Up

July 2021

  1. The Cleaning Fairy Is Real
  2. Emoji Skin Colors
  3. Sir Charles Does Not Mince Words
  4. Breaking News: Siri Continues to Be Bad
  5. The Boston Renegades Kick Ass
  6. The Guardians of Traffic and Now Baseball
  7. The Math Says Make It Look Like a Wanger
  8. “Illegal Voting” in Texas and the Need for Bail Reform
  9. There Was Also a Hot Dog Tasting Review
  10. Honestly, There’s No Such Thing as an Anti-Sex Bed
  11. Running for a Cause
  12. A Hot Mic at the All-Star Game
  13. Resurrecting the Gould’s Mouse
  14. Truck-Eating Bridges
  15. A Cheaper Alternative to Gravel Or Sand
  16. A Mobile Starlink Dish
  17. At Least You Don’t Have to Pay for Airport Parking
  18. The Mystery of Terrys Tropical Paradise
  19. Popcorn Pickles
  20. Hydrofoiling for Freedom
  21. A Less Than Happy 4th
  22. Happy Bobby Bonilla Day!

June 2021

  1. Dumb Text
  2. Paying Through the Nose for COVID Tests
  3. How to Be a Better Billionaire
  4. Progress in the National Football League
  5. My License Plate Number is 52GB99
  6. Reframing the Options When It Comes to Vaccine Skepticism
  7. Putting the Mess in Messaging
  8. Ups, Downs, and Vulgar Graffiti
  9. Play Them for the Funky Behavior
  10. A Tattooed Testicle
  11. Mirth About Perth
  12. Alas, His Name Is Not Jonah
  13. J&J Can’t Catch a Break
  14. Pictures of Engines of Old Farm Equipment
  15. They’ll Have to Follow-Up on That One
  16. An Unexpected Consequence of Bitcoin Volatility
  17. One Tiny Little Flaw
  18. A Nice Family Outing
  19. A Magic Show for Birds
  20. Land Shrimp
  21. Get in Early on the Next Pandemic
  22. The Time Charlton Heston Wrote to “Dear Abby”

May 2021

  1. RoboCop Was Not an Instruction Manual
  2. A Strip Club Vaccine Clinic
  3. The Shirtless Hunk Goes to Law School
  4. Never Do Laundry
  5. Alarming Dialog Text
  6. Don’t Do Cicadas
  7. Lost Dog, Color Indeterminate
  8. We the Pikachus of Chile, in Order to Pika a More Chaa Pi-Ka
  9. Zappos Is for Fashion Plates
  10. The 1920s-Era Wisdom of Princess Mysteria
  11. The Volcano Pizzaiolo
  12. Much Better by Far to Be Old at Heart
  13. Rock, Roll, and Beyond
  14. A Paean to Hipmunk
  15. A Retrospective of the Raid That Got Bin Laden
  16. It Really Was
  17. Live A Life Worth Living
  18. Paying for the Production of a Giant Squid
  19. A Bathtub With a View
  20. So Long, Sexy Garfield Guy
  21. A Front Row Seat for the Conflagration

April 2021

  1. Mixed Metaphors
  2. Encountering an Esplanade Eagle
  3. Explain Yourself, Bally Sports
  4. Impressive Closing Speed
  5. Beaver Bites Cable
  6. One Way To Save On Wedding Costs
  7. Making Human Exploration of Mars Possible
  8. No Ink Is Used
  9. How Police Think
  10. Ingenuity Flies
  11. A Shortage of Garden Gnomes
  12. A Cannabis-Themed License Plate Auction
  13. Visualizing the Risk-Reward Calculus of the J&J Vaccine
  14. Do Less Harm
  15. The Nauseating Politics of the World’s Most Dangerous Cheese
  16. It’s Hitmen All the Way Down
  17. Drunken Email Works
  18. Alabamans Cowering in Fear
  19. Millions of Morons, Suddenly Silenced
  20. An Officer of Puerility
  21. Volkswagen’s Idiotic Stunt
  22. Perhaps the World Ends With Neither a Bang Nor a Whimper, but Just Gibberish

March 2021

  1. “Sharked” Is a Great Verb
  2. First in Flight, Twice Over
  3. Eldest Mouse the Lawyer Cat, Esq.
  4. An Incredible Act of Kindness
  5. Oily Pennies in the Driveway
  6. Krispy Kowards
  7. Stopsign: Please Stop Never Stopping
  8. “Vasectomy Mayhem” Does Not Sound Super Professional
  9. Banana Ball
  10. Salmon Chaos
  11. “Einstein Cafe” Is a Curious Name, for Many Reasons
  12. That’s Just Car Theft With Extra Steps
  13. Virtual Unwrapping
  14. Pablo Escobear Is a Really, Really Great Name
  15. The Phone of the Wind
  16. Fitting
  17. A Supercentenarian Is Not a Sure Thing
  18. The Hovering Ship
  19. A Site for Ursine STDs
  20. Delayed Gratification for Cephalopods
  21. The Amazon App’s New Icons
  22. The Right Thing to Do
  23. The Giant Vegetable Community

February 2021

  1. Houses on the Move
  2. I’d Read the Entire List of New Words
  3. Our Immune Systems Are Adorable
  4. Humorously Homicidal
  5. The Skelecaster
  6. The Ball’s in Your Court, Louvre
  7. Lies, Lions, and Statistics
  8. “Just” a Chocolate Cake With Raspberry Jam and Lashings of Buttercream
  9. Yardi Gras
  10. The Six Commandments for Natural and Enjoyable Robotic Hugging
  11. This Should Not Be Globally Accessible
  12. Don’t Worry, You Have Not Changed Universes
  13. He Was There Live. He Was Not a Cat.
  14. This Might As Well Happen
  15. Homemade Hooch and Atomic Attack Instructions
  16. Zoom Goats
  17. The Weird, Wonderful Friendship of Raj and Irene
  18. A Cat Birthday Party
  19. The Apple Watch Is Awfully Early
  20. Covidiots Temporarily Delay Vaccinations

January 2021

  1. Seems Tough to Forget
  2. Capital One’s Photoshop Disaster
  3. Rod and Ekaterina Baker Are Selfish Morons
  4. A Train System Built On Flash
  5. I Think My Bank Is Hitting on Me
  6. Low Uptake Predicted
  7. The COVID Crisis Continues
  8. Today Is a Good Day
  9. A Joke That Nearly Brought Down The House
  10. Ripphy Dabyah to You!
  11. It’s Unusual to Not Be Able to Tell
  12. It Happened Again
  13. No, No, No
  14. There’s No Shortage of Available Numbers
  15. DR Is the Danish Equivalent of PBS
  16. These Precious Days
  17. Nevertheless, They Persisted
  18. Madea Went to the Polls
  19. It’s His Loss
  20. An Air-Powered Costume Is a Bad Idea
  21. Twentieth Century Browsers

2020 261

December 2020

  1. I’m Saving Hundreds of Microseconds Each Day
  2. We’ve All Had Days Like That
  3. Progress in Major League Baseball
  4. Take a Day Off, Coach
  5. Scottish Gritters Have Great Names
  6. A New and Disgusting One
  7. Turn the Other Cheek
  8. Things Worthy of Our Love
  9. Holiday Surgery Is Also Best Avoided
  10. Live Free, With Bears
  11. Imploding A Former Trump Casino For The Children
  12. Meat-Ax Your Notifications
  13. Be Better
  14. Superspreader Santa
  15. Inbox Abuse at the Hands of Major League Baseball
  16. Apparently, No One Recognized The Name
  17. The Brutal Reality of COVID-19
  18. Wireless Networking Snake Oil
  19. This Wasn’t the Location They Were Looking For
  20. The 2020 Hubble Space Telescope Advent Calendar
  21. Real Art Should Excite
  22. Cutting Through Steel
  23. Ghosting the President

November 2020

  1. Cutting Hair Since 1955
  2. I Feel You, Bears
  3. The New Year’s Countdown Has Nothing on This
  4. His Eviction Notice Was Served in Early November
  5. Venezuela, Syria, and America
  6. A Rather E-Gregious Idea
  7. The Ruined Sanctity of the Pro Bowl
  8. America’s Moron
  9. Our Vaccine Fairy Godmother
  10. Your Order Has Arrived, Maybe
  11. Medical Delivery via Lamborghini
  12. Remember Fun?
  13. The Potato Head of Palencia
  14. An Interview With the Owner of the Sex Shop Next to Four Seasons Landscaping
  15. Nestled Betwixt the Adult Bookstore and the Crematorium
  16. How Do You Spell Relief? B-I-D-E-N
  17. Donald Trump’s Attempted Murder of American Democracy
  18. I’ll Make Popcorn
  19. Read the Room, American Airlines
  20. We Can Do Hard Things
  21. Functional Sculpture

October 2020

  1. Hercule Van Wolfwinkle’s Pet Portraits
  2. The “Hitman Information Privacy and Protection Act” Really Ought to Be a Tip-Off
  3. Major League Baseball’s Bad Example
  4. Angela Hansberger Has Found a Way to Cope
  5. He Knows That They’ve Been Bad, Not Good
  6. Silencio, Por Favor!
  7. Getting Into Blaseball
  8. Extremely Big Boned
  9. These Onions Are Too Sexy for Facebook
  10. That Profanity Filter Stinks
  11. Oh, Yeah, It’s All Totally Cursed
  12. Someone in Los Angeles Is Having Some Fun
  13. Walker Buehler’s Skinny Pants
  14. Nothing but Blue Links Did We See
  15. You Should Be Punctual
  16. A Journey to Nowhere
  17. A Not-So-Smart Sex Toy
  18. Hovering Paramedics
  19. A Slightly Less Disgusting Type of Sweetbread
  20. A Very Precise Jump
  21. Polly Wants a Fucking Cracker
  22. An Award-Winning Rat

September 2020

  1. Mouse-Shaped Fake Chicken
  2. Dion Waiters Is Already An NBA Champion
  3. Be Careful Who You Vote For
  4. One Magical Front Door
  5. They Shoulda Put Some Rings on It
  6. A Demi Adejuyigbe Interview
  7. That Was Yesterday
  8. A Second Chance for a Strange Chair
  9. Next Up, Quaker Oatmeal Fried Clams
  10. OK, Next They Need to Automate the Editing
  11. Maybe We Can Finally Get Some Case Law on This Important Issue
  12. I’m Uploading It to the Ocean
  13. Mimicking a Design Is Distasteful, but Not Illegal
  14. This Could Be A Real Tourist Attraction
  15. Coming to You Live From His Mother’s Basement
  16. We Don’t Need This Right Now
  17. The Lowest Bar
  18. Lacrosse’s Greater Good
  19. What You See Depends On Where You’re From
  20. Donald Trump Is a Coward
  21. Used Pumpers Are Available Immediately
  22. Help Get Out the Vote, With Vote Forward

August 2020

  1. Beautiful Blue Skies and Golden Sunshine
  2. Trust Mother Nature
  3. “Fair” Means Whatever Is Good for Jerry Jones
  4. An Obscenely Massive Box of Mozzarella Sticks
  5. “It’s Good” Is a Decent Slogan
  6. O Captain, My Captain
  7. Yuh-Hikes
  8. Ghost Cruise Ships
  9. Today’s the Day the Ratlickers Have Their Party
  10. Hindsight
  11. I’d Like to Join That Unit
  12. Trash Panda Art
  13. Surely Someone Will Sell This Flag
  14. Rather Amusing Mockery From an “Organist”
  15. The UX of Lego Interface Panels
  16. Daniel Bard Beats the Yips
  17. Logo Mashups
  18. Robert Berger Is a Bad Forger
  19. Clearly, We Need an App for This
  20. Impressively Accurate

July 2020

  1. Flipper-matic
  2. Depressing Swag
  3. It’s Video Games All The Way Down
  4. That’s Pretty Forward, Netflix
  5. An Important Scientific Study
  6. Fake Fans in Empty Stadiums
  7. He’ll Be Gone Eventually, Too
  8. Ultrablack Fish
  9. The Mad Haterpillar
  10. Too Many Slogans
  11. Caution, Do Not Store Vertically
  12. Fun With Address Labels
  13. Pothole Art
  14. Quite the Optical Illusion
  15. Not So Fast
  16. It’s a Very Low Bar
  17. A Small Accounting Discrepancy
  18. Ending the Glorification of the Wrong Side of History
  19. Also, Summer Probably Should Be Canceled
  20. A COVID-19 Eating Contest
  21. Everything’s Coming Up Mr. Potato Head
  22. Buying Multiple Smaller Cakes Destroys Your Volume Discount
  23. I’m Here for Beef Stroganoff

June 2020

  1. Cross Party Lines, but Stay Six Feet Away
  2. Purchasing My Very Own Custom Pumper
  3. Conan the Very Good Boy or Girl
  4. Topping the Box Office
  5. Second Thoughts
  6. The SEC Had “Comments” for Hertz
  7. Now That’s Just Bad Luck
  8. Rethink the Police
  9. Isaac Newton, Master Chef
  10. Hire This Man
  11. Hurts So Bad
  12. Dr. Khama Ennis Kicks Ass
  13. It’s Just a Phase
  14. Two Emails in Two Hours Is a Bad Sign
  15. Just Stay in Your Bunker
  16. Look Up to Her
  17. Derek Chauvin, Fraudulent Voter
  18. This Is What She Does Now
  19. How Do You Kneel on a Neck for Nine Minutes?
  20. The Church Stunt
  21. Our Job Is Never Done
  22. Organized Crime

May 2020

  1. The Mind Boggles
  2. The 1000-Year-Old Sturminster Newton Mill Is Back in Business
  3. The Flour Company Supplying America’s Sudden Baking Obsession
  4. 🎶 Like a Rhinestone Jockstrap 🎶
  5. Astro the Grouch
  6. “Money Stuff” Is Hilarious Financial Writing
  7. A Veil of Darkness
  8. Much More on the Yellow Multipurpose Machine
  9. I Actually Probably Don’t Want to Know
  10. Pizza Arbitrage
  11. They Don’t Need Masks When Nobody Is Flying
  12. Reduced Flights Reduce Meteorological Accuracy
  13. We All Hear a Yellow Multipurpose Machine
  14. Learning from Pornographers
  15. Coffee With COVID
  16. Donald Trump Is Bored
  17. Coronavirus Diaries: Virtual Plumber Visits
  18. Look at Me. Look at Me.
  19. Lean Into That Name
  20. Counting Flu Deaths Properly
  21. Protecting What’s Important

April 2020

  1. Don’t Be a Pence
  2. Next I’ll Be Shilling Flat Tummy Tea
  3. Be a Goodr Influencer
  4. The Influencer Crash
  5. OK, You First, Mr. President
  6. Ridiculous Products: Idiotic COVID-19 Touch Tools
  7. Excessively Polite
  8. Learn From Their Mistakes
  9. Cops Are Generally Not Laissez-Faire Proponents
  10. Padding the Stats
  11. USPS’s New “Premium” Tracking
  12. Automobile Logos From Memory
  13. Is Dove Soap?
  14. Smart Toilets Will Know Who You Are and What You Did
  15. The World’s Most Advanced Private Air Force
  16. Wear a Mask
  17. No Comprehension of How to Eat Cereal
  18. Free Goat Entertainment
  19. Ah Hell, We’d Better Cancel the Mission
  20. App Updates in the Time of Coronavirus
  21. Train Wrecking
  22. Lucky Devil Eats

March 2020

  1. Unsolicited Link Requests
  2. Business Attire, Half Off
  3. That’ll Solve The Problem
  4. Their Services Are Probably Both More Expensive and Less Fun
  5. Caelie Wilkes’s Perfect Plant
  6. The ABC’s of Logo Design Are Not “Average”, “Boring”, and “Confusing”
  7. Avoid Touching Your Face, but Sometimes a Facepalm Is Required
  8. Butthole Cats
  9. Useful Claw Machine Prizes
  10. Like a Kid in a Candy Store
  11. Chocolate Hummus Is an Abomination
  12. We Can Be Heroes
  13. The Baja Men Are Prophets
  14. This Was a Scripted Speech
  15. The Word from Wuhan
  16. Hopefully, This Isn’t the High Point
  17. Attention, Misters Amazon and Ebay
  18. The Clock Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story
  19. Those Are Some Bad Hats, New Era
  20. Perhaps Democracy Can’t Be Bought
  21. You Probably Don’t Qualify
  22. A Hidden Marmot

February 2020

  1. Welcome to Horny Brand Twitter
  2. The Houston Astros Should Knock It Off
  3. Ecstatic Wiggle Pup
  4. Sometimes, Sanity Prevails
  5. David Ayres Drinks for Free in Raleigh
  6. Ben Hart Might Be God
  7. Disgustingly Beautiful
  8. What It’s Like to Describe Porn for a Blind Audience
  9. This Will Turn Out Just Fine
  10. Not for All the Buffet Line Shrimp in the World
  11. Body Party!
  12. No Nazi Friars
  13. The Food Place
  14. Natalie Portman’s Oscars Cape
  15. These Designs Are Bad and the Designers Should Feel Bad
  16. Literally Eating His Own Dog Food
  17. That Surgeon Is an Artist
  18. There Is No SSL Certificate for Teams
  19. Pablo Escobar’s Invasive Hippos
  20. Please Enjoy More Than Two Dozen Owl Photos

January 2020

  1. Sadly, the Coupons Do Not Work
  2. Holy Humblebrag, Batman!
  3. Meet the Y’alls
  4. The Reason Is Undoubtedly a Super Bowl Ad
  5. This Could Turn Into a Depressing Career
  6. A Look at WikiHow’s Bizarre Art
  7. An Unreasonable Burden
  8. Music for Iguanas
  9. Immortalized in Google Street View
  10. They Break It, We Buy It
  11. Some Wolves Will Play Fetch
  12. Hopefully They Didn’t Grade on a Curve
  13. That’s Amazing
  14. Fun With Checks
  15. Gotta Support The Team
  16. I Suppose It’s Hard to Stand Up if You Don’t Have a Backbone
  17. That’s One Horrific Typo
  18. A Detailed Analysis of Emoji Scissors
  19. Waste a Little Extra Time This Year, to Avoid Wasting a Whole Lot of Energy
  20. The Worst of 1924
  21. That Does Seem Logical
  22. You Were the Mayor, So I Guess You Were Responsible
  23. A Collection of Cuties

2019 260

December 2019

  1. Surely This Is a Good Sign
  2. Just This Once, for One Person
  3. Instagram Face
  4. Interview with the Zuckerbot
  5. Madison, the Superfluous Reindeer
  6. Denny’s Grand Slam
  7. Merry Whatevs
  8. Airplane Pods
  9. Impeached President Donald Trump
  10. Objection, Assumes Facts Not in Evidence
  11. Emotional Support Bees
  12. Thousands of ‘Penis Fish’ Washed Up on a California Beach
  13. The Greatest Paycheck He Never Earned
  14. Hip Hip Hooray for They
  15. The Unknown Avian Haberdasher
  16. We Pay All Court Fees
  17. Just Stop Hiring Steve Harvey
  18. Reservations About Reservation Systems
  19. Oh, Don’t Worry, She’s Friendly
  20. A Submarine That Doesn’t Fill With Water Seems Superior
  21. Evaluating the Milk Production of Cows Wearing VR Headsets
  22. Kevin

November 2019

  1. Pretend Food for a Robot Dog
  2. One of These Turkeys Is Either Too Cheap or Too Expensive
  3. Preying on Prisoners
  4. Enjoy a Beautiful Day
  5. The Art of Racing in the Cul-De-Sac
  6. A Much-Delayed “U Up?”
  7. I Want Any Reality But This
  8. Unlabeled GPS Trackers
  9. Suspicionless Searches Ruled Unconstitutional
  10. Trademarked Colors
  11. The UT-erus
  12. Just Say No to Gender Reveal Parties
  13. Illegal Parking Is a Peanut Butter Jelly Crime
  14. Algorithm Accountability
  15. No Wall Lasts Forever
  16. Not a Great Gig
  17. Give This a Try at the Office
  18. A Lonely Little Soul
  19. Intuit Is Scum
  20. Mundane Halloween
  21. Drumming Up Demand

October 2019

  1. Chew Some Grass for the Gipper
  2. Declassified Dogs
  3. Don’t Make Us Say No
  4. It Takes Two to Tango, and Also to Operate a Skycam
  5. Either Way, Uber Eats Is Going to Be Saving a Bundle
  6. O Un Taco, Por Favor
  7. Un Tacos, Por Favor
  8. These Sneaky Bastards Have Been Hiding an Entire Digit
  9. Click to Pray
  10. In Loving Memory
  11. That’s Just Busywork
  12. Go St. Louis!
  13. Good Luck, Little Fiordland Penguin
  14. Eliud Kipchoge Flew
  15. Koda the Turtle Dog
  16. One All-Beef Mascot
  17. Animated Yeti/Sasquatch/Bigfoot News You Can Use
  18. Bad at Rounding and Writing
  19. Return of the Apple Dumbwatch Part II
  20. Joy Jumps
  21. Grace
  22. Looks Like He Got a New Motorcycle Though
  23. Ridiculous Products: Sexy Beyond Burger Costume

September 2019

  1. Getting Stung in the Face Wasn’t the Worst Part
  2. Jimmy John’s Is Not Great at Order Notifications
  3. It’s the Alexa That Says “Bad Motherfucker”
  4. Reinforcement Learning Is Fascinating
  5. Googly Body Worlds
  6. Sadly, That’s Not Today
  7. Rusney Castillo’s Golden Handcuffs
  8. Try Not to Dream About Eating Any Giant Marshmallows
  9. On the Cutting Edge of the ’90s
  10. Absurd Until We Die
  11. The USPS Is Not Good at Email
  12. Sure, That’s a Thing That Should Exist
  13. The Death of Democracy in North Carolina
  14. Sure, Sure, a House Hug
  15. No Job Is Safe
  16. Lego for the Blind
  17. President Trumpsimus
  18. Clever Girl
  19. From Bad to Worse
  20. Ice Cream Books
  21. Thank God for the Fire Brigade

August 2019

  1. Two Wrongs Might Be a Wash
  2. A Cool New Way to Die While Camping
  3. Offended by Micturation
  4. Our Long-Flying Space Plane
  5. My Little Gangsta Rapper
  6. XFL Logos, Reviewed
  7. Steam as a Utility
  8. The Majestic Mattress Migration
  9. Therapy Dogs at Work
  10. Who’s Winning the Seagull War?
  11. That Would Be Quite a Ruse
  12. I’ve Said It Before, Costco Is Just Not Using Good Printers
  13. The Backfiring Vanity Plate
  14. Signs of Provincetown
  15. One Hell of an Origin Story
  16. Fake Logos, Modernized
  17. Why, How Do YOU Prove You’re Alive?
  18. Poor Little Sewer Trash Panda
  19. Overcoming a Fundamental Meanness
  20. Warmth, But Not Comfort
  21. Congratulations, Doctor Allamby
  22. Fixing the Bird Logos in Pro Sports

July 2019

  1. Make a Copy for Yourselves Too
  2. Harvesting Metals for Medals
  3. Heal Thyself
  4. Don’t Be Distracted
  5. Living That Airport Baggage Carousel Dream
  6. “Economy Acceptable” Would Be More Accurate
  7. Recent Snippets
  8. The Dream Remains Alive
  9. A Wicked Hush-Hush Weather Forecast
  10. Rent-A-Wiener
  11. The Closer Who Saved Himself
  12. As Close as We’ll Get
  13. An Uncommon Loon
  14. That Is Too Much for a Grape
  15. Rest in Peace, Stewart
  16. A Nightmare Year
  17. Vote McGrath
  18. That’s a Lot of Hot Dogs
  19. Well, Someone Had to Be Manning Those Amperts
  20. Get Calm With John McEnroe
  21. They Really Metsed It Up
  22. Start With the Known Dangers
  23. We’ve Got Gas

June 2019

  1. Don’t Quit Your Day Job
  2. Mark It Zero!
  3. The Ultimate Subway Series
  4. A New iWalk Appears
  5. Please, No Double-Dipping
  6. Meet Dr. Marijuana Pepsi
  7. Life in Space
  8. Stop, I Don’t Collaborate. Listen.
  9. Imperfection, Embraced
  10. The Dapper Catcher
  11. More Than Two Years’ Worth of the Median Income in the US
  12. Take a Picture, Not a Bag
  13. Embrace The Glorious Imperfection
  14. Love & Whiskies
  15. This Is the Sad Place
  16. Bees Can Count
  17. 1977’s Tax Dollars At Work
  18. Demonstrably False
  19. Top-Notch Trolling
  20. The Milk Chocolate Emoji Bar

May 2019

  1. A-ha, What an Interesting Take on Interior Design!
  2. Let Freedom Gas Spread!
  3. Some Like It Hot
  4. The Unknown Person
  5. Who Exactly Is Going to Carry This Child?
  6. The Knock-Off Culture of Jordan
  7. He Who Represents Himself
  8. See Some Different Looking Squirrels
  9. We’re Already Giving You Money
  10. Mouth-to-Beak Resuscitation
  11. The Worcester Bravehearts Should Listen To Jimmy Dugan
  12. More on Siri and Numerical Days of the Year
  13. Turning Things Around
  14. That’s 138 Million Misspellings
  15. Siri and the Kilomile
  16. The Purest Aptonym Yet Seen
  17. Low-Budget Fire Prevention
  18. A Brief, Foolish Moment of Hope
  19. Not Nice
  20. A Demand for Insecure Insulin Pumps
  21. The Shameful Wastefulness of Vampire Facials
  22. Using Algorithms for Good

April 2019

  1. Monitored and Supervised by Robots
  2. Protect Their Right to Do the Wrong Thing
  3. Why Is the CIA on Social Media?
  4. The Future Is Weird
  5. Re-Branding the Innocence Project
  6. A Ukrainian Comedian Is Seriously President
  7. A Sobering Earth Day 2019
  8. “Boonrod” Means Survivor
  9. Because That Ass Is Out of This World
  10. That’s So Gronk
  11. Overzealous DMCA Complaints
  12. Verse for a Boston Moment
  13. Nature Is Awful
  14. Not So Happy
  15. That Is Not a Thing
  16. Just Sell It
  17. Another Body in the Graveyard of Failed Football Leagues
  18. Taking Advantage of Bureaucracy
  19. A Plague of Garfield Phones
  20. I Really Want to Know Why “TUNAFSH” Got Rejected
  21. Google Really Ought to Have a Googie HQ Building
  22. The ‘E’ Stands for “Extremely Lame”

March 2019

  1. Shen Yun Is Strange and, Apparently, Unsettling
  2. I’m Still Not Going To Eat Their Pizza
  3. I Don’t Get Out of Bed to Stare at Ads for Less Than $10,000 a Day
  4. Joy Milne Can Smell Parkinson’s Disease
  5. My Kind of Holiday
  6. Fun With a Gratuitous Photo Booth
  7. Creatures of Habit
  8. Sound Bites
  9. They Had 15 Minutes to Kill
  10. Their Time Has Come
  11. People Who Like Brian Regan Also Bought Tickets To See Brian Regan
  12. The Once and Future Mayor
  13. Not A Cheeseburger Predator
  14. KFC Is Really Weird, Y’all
  15. Pete Souza’s Best Photograph
  16. Water, Water, Everywhere
  17. I’d Really Like To See A Picture of the Complainant
  18. They Will See Her Wagging From Such Great Heights
  19. Still Where He Put Him
  20. “In Pursuit of a Red Honda Civic, License Plate Echo-Alpha-Tango 💩”
  21. Bridge Performance-Enhancing Drugs

February 2019

  1. His Nickname is “Fat”
  2. Creeping on You in the Cold Drinks Aisle
  3. Emoji Omitted
  4. I Hope Someone Signs This Dog
  5. One of Them Should Shave, but Not Both of Them
  6. Googly Eyes for Show
  7. Message Received, Five Decades On
  8. A Very Senior Junior Ranger
  9. Celebrity Bonsai
  10. That’s About $100,000 Too Much
  11. A History of Weird MLB Logos
  12. Drive to the Sweet Spot
  13. Did Disco Stu’s Disco Shoes Ever Really Exist?
  14. A Private Adult Sexual Oasis
  15. We’re Down a Dingell
  16. Chombueng the Marathon Dog
  17. Rosemary Mariner Kicked Ass
  18. Korean Age
  19. The Real Mystery Is Why Almost a Quarter of a Million Accounts Follow the TSA on Twitter
  20. Inessential Tarp-Wavers
  21. If Only You Could Cash in All Those Upvotes

January 2019

  1. This Plane in Spain Is Something of a Pain
  2. Switched at Death
  3. The Fart Filter
  4. A Get-Back Coach
  5. Save Yourself
  6. The Robutt Is Better, and Moister, Than Ever
  7. Making Medical Walking Boots Fun
  8. Life-Saving Beer
  9. She’ll Always Be A Part of Him
  10. Go, Betsy, Go!
  11. You Get What You Don’t Pay For
  12. Boston’s Great Molasses Flood
  13. Mads Mikkelsen Likes It Cold
  14. Also Worth Noting, He’s Currently Hurting Nearly Everyone
  15. They Didn’t Make It
  16. How Did This Can’t-Miss Concept Fail?
  17. Nonagenarian Doping
  18. Sorry, Chicago
  19. At Least One Party Definitely Screwed Up
  20. Rest in Peace, Lawrence Roberts
  21. A Very Tried and True Method
  22. The Worst of 1923

2018 258

December 2018

  1. More Floppy Ears
  2. It’s All Just a Little Bit of History Repeating
  3. Sweet, Sweet Justice
  4. He Can Do What He’s Done
  5. Rocketing Himself to the Absolute Top Spot on the “Naughty” List
  6. Weird Tasting Chocolate
  7. Tiny House Theft
  8. The Return of the Public Domain
  9. Eat Your Feelings
  10. Bumblebee Backpacks
  11. Freedom! Horrible, Horrible Freedom!
  12. Thank You, Climb Again
  13. Grog Build Wall. Build Wall Tall!
  14. Humans Are So Creative
  15. Loading Wood
  16. Eel-Nose Is the New Cinnamon Challenge
  17. Tree of Blood
  18. Puzzle Montage Art
  19. Holiday Workplace Celebrations Gone Wild
  20. That Hot New Brand Palessi
  21. Eee dont now

November 2018

  1. When Artificial Intelligence Isn’t Intelligent
  2. Won’t Somebody Think of the Koi Fish?
  3. This Is Not Helpful, Amazon
  4. An Interview With Olivia Jaimes
  5. Sifting Through Shit for Science
  6. Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal
  7. Gone in 49 Minutes
  8. Game-Used
  9. Finally, We Know About the Amazing Intestines of Wombats
  10. Rich Uncle Pennybags Is No Millennial
  11. This Baseball Thing Might Catch on, Thanks to Mookie Betts
  12. Lousy Emoji Suggestions
  13. Not Safe For Work, Except if This Is Your Work
  14. No Spoilers, Please
  15. What Do You Want, a Medal or a Cookie?
  16. It’s Hard to Figure
  17. Sadspirational
  18. Under Pressure
  19. Who Wants Children on Demand?
  20. Rat Lungworm Sounds Like a Bad Way to Go
  21. Fake Moons Are Also Probably Real Dumb
  22. The Influencer Who Did Not Influence

October 2018

  1. Why Do Bad Things Happen to Bad People?
  2. 4chan Is Good for Something
  3. He Took Magic Johnson’s Share of the Team
  4. Daring, To Say The Least
  5. Graceful Like a Gazelle
  6. The Crushing Dumbness of Donald Trump
  7. Cost: $4000; Value: Substantially Less
  8. I Suppose True Equality Would Be a ’Roided-Up Female Ballplayer
  9. Gee, This Was a Good Idea
  10. Caught Themselves Red Handed
  11. Looming Eyes Would Freak Me Out Too
  12. I’d Love to Read the Internal Bug Report for This One
  13. It Does Indeed Look Funny
  14. Californians Don’t Know From Bagels
  15. Good Logo, Good Pretzel
  16. A Pip of a Ninth Inning
  17. They Had Color in the 1940s?
  18. Facebook Wants to Put a Camera in Your House
  19. Go Register to Vote
  20. MLB Players Who Can Best Make Emoji Jerseys for the 2019 Players Weekend
  21. $12.50 Per Gun Is Not a Lot
  22. That’s a Rough Day at the Office
  23. The Vegetable Peeler That Changed the World

September 2018

  1. The $500,000 Hit-By-Pitch
  2. Nightmare on Ice
  3. Now Pitching, Brady Feigl the Younger
  4. If You Give an Octopus Some Molly
  5. Gosars Are Cold-Blooded
  6. Doing Things in 18s
  7. Moonwalking Dolphins
  8. Hey, the BAA Did Do the Right Thing
  9. I Believe Eliud Kipchoge Can Fly
  10. Unconscionable Political Gamesmanship
  11. Who Knew Seagulls Were Protected?
  12. Jocelyn Bell Burnell Kicks Ass
  13. Crack Pipe Vending Machines
  14. It’s Always the US Open, Too
  15. “Boxcheeseburger” Is Also an OK Nickname
  16. Seven Weeks and Counting
  17. That Bot May Be a Human
  18. Beach Hats With a Bonus
  19. Beard Kopeks
  20. It Just Looks So Alive

August 2018

  1. Bat Dogs Continue to Be Great
  2. An Explanation of Electric Scooters
  3. Thirteen Years Is Also a Long Time
  4. Seven Years Is a Long Time
  5. This Will Surely Attract Those Millennials
  6. Son of Ten Cent Beer Night
  7. I Bet He Was Fine Until He Looked Down
  8. Apparently, the Proper Name Is “Animals Crackers”
  9. The Impact of Cities on Animals
  10. The Host
  11. 28 Years Later
  12. Why Do We Give Our Pets Death With Dignity but Not Ourselves?
  13. Begging Robots Are Still Just Robots
  14. I Really Like Octopuses
  15. At Least We Won’t Have to Watch the World Burn
  16. Interview With an Old Person
  17. Police Arresting Florida Woman Assisted by Cows
  18. This Branding Is Muy Bueno
  19. Wine Personalized to My Tastes Is Actually Just Called “Beer”
  20. A Premature Chain Reaction
  21. Fear of a Blueberry Planet
  22. True Confessions of an FDA Commissioner
  23. Siri Finally Understands “Gazpacho”

July 2018

  1. The Abortions We Don’t Talk About, Talked About
  2. An Idiotic Idea Doesn’t Deserve Branding This Good
  3. Shower More — or at Least Use Some Deodorant
  4. Following the Money, via Satellite
  5. Unauthorized Death
  6. Ghost Flights
  7. Pizza Weasel
  8. Flaming Hot Doritos Are Back
  9. Everyone Loves Furniture With Visible Teeth Marks
  10. 45 Is Less Than 44 (or 43, or 42, or…)
  11. And Then There Was One
  12. An Apple Watch Makes a Great Gift for the Nerdy Cokehead in Your Life
  13. Build-A-Fiasco
  14. Poor, Put-Upon John Schnatter
  15. You Had One Job, Hot Dog Counter!
  16. Like It’s Never Been Used
  17. iWalks, Real and Fake
  18. Sexier?
  19. They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?
  20. Grieving for America on the 4th of July
  21. Shinguards Work
  22. I’m Not Even Sure How Many That Is, but I Know It’s Not One

June 2018

  1. Live Free, Flamingo #492
  2. Replaced by a Bobblehead
  3. Cheaters Often Prosper
  4. Here Comes the Hot Dog
  5. Bird Bouncer
  6. 1 Out Of 5 Dentists Recommend
  7. In Other News, the MTV Awards Are Still a Thing
  8. Aptly Bylined
  9. Ethical Testicles
  10. Caterpillar Alert
  11. Those Stupid Sharks Don’t Know How to Keep a Secret
  12. Prove Him Wrong, Bosses. Prove Him Wrong.
  13. Horse Wins!
  14. Hockey Night in Las Vegas
  15. Breaking Down Barriers With Writing
  16. Still a Better Lawyer Than Michael Cohen
  17. Better Never Than Late
  18. In Service To His Health
  19. Buy Cockroach Milk Futures!

May 2018

  1. Come On, Spammers
  2. Your Airplane Is Mostly Farts
  3. Stay Out of There, Tall Child!
  4. Vague? Good. Specific? Awful.
  5. Animal Garbage Smoothies
  6. Awfully Prudish for a Store Whose Name Looks Like “Pube Licks”
  7. Condolences to Mostik’s Family
  8. Hockey May Be Las Vegas’s Downfall
  9. The Man With the Golden Arm
  10. X IS the Roman Numeral for 10
  11. Very On Brand
  12. Not the Last of Its Kind
  13. Medical Twitter Is Heart-Wrenching
  14. This is America
  15. Stealing a Chore
  16. That Last Line Is Really Something
  17. Quality Assurance Not Found
  18. Premature Confetti
  19. School Pooperintendant
  20. Drainy McDrainface Is Undoubtedly Taken
  21. Do the Right Thing, BAA
  22. Now I Have a Reason to Visit Alabama

April 2018

  1. The Summer of ’78
  2. Perhaps FedEx Could Monitor the Calendar a Bit More Closely
  3. I’m Not Sure Scientists Said Exactly That
  4. The Fajita Bandit
  5. A Couple Hundred People Out There Can Still Say “I Work at Blockbuster”
  6. Spaces Are Not Wildcards
  7. New Nancy Is Great
  8. Tammie Jo Shults Kicks Ass
  9. Firefighters Can’t Help Your Overdosing Raccoon
  10. Des Linden Kicks Ass
  11. Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston
  12. Winners Don’t Use Drugs
  13. More Than Just a Toilet
  14. Musical Mind Games
  15. The Cleaning Lady Was Still a Hard “No”
  16. Opentail Gees for Life
  17. We Regret the Error Almost as Much as We Regret Learning About This Sickening Fad
  18. Saving Stephen Hawking’s Voice
  19. Fake Meteor Showers Are Real Dumb
  20. Other Virtual Assistants Are Sexist Too
  21. Stop Being Sexist, Siri

March 2018

  1. Fun With Titles
  2. More Bad Good News
  3. Daphne the Duck’s Big Day Out
  4. Everyone Knows Black Friday Is a Fall Holiday
  5. The Kids Are Alright
  6. I Didn’t Even Know There Were Deer Breeders
  7. 19 People Didn’t Have Much Going On
  8. Sticking With the Classic
  9. Luigi’s Penis
  10. United Is Going to the Dogs
  11. Rock Musicians Using Complex Spreadsheets
  12. Get Your Goddamned Shit Together, Sears
  13. Nice Work If You Can Get It
  14. Maybe They Can Gamify Tantrums Next
  15. Here’s to Hitmen
  16. Quite a Coincidence
  17. Happy Birthday/Anniversary/Divorce Sale, Russell!
  18. Front-Facing Simpsons Characters Will Haunt Your Dreams
  19. A Brief Time on Earth Offering Up Joy
  20. Accidental Car Bomb
  21. No One Can Take That Away From You
  22. Hacking Spotify for Fun and Profit

February 2018

  1. Fried Chicken from Kentucky
  2. Come at Me, Bob
  3. Ester Ledecká Kicks Ass
  4. This Is a Very Stupid Survey
  5. Paul Kafasis Is Not Dead
  6. It’s All Really, Really Bad
  7. The List of Dishonest People and More
  8. Chinese Knock-Offs, Writ Large
  9. “Can We Go Again?”
  10. Two Reasons OFT Isn’t Being Updated Today
  11. Male Polar Bears Have Limited Accessorizing Options
  12. Results Matter
  13. Branded in Memory, NFL Edition
  14. Jade Hameister Kicks Ass
  15. Return of the Apple Dumbwatch
  16. Not-So-Massive Verbal Persuasion
  17. Recently Heard on the Philadelphia Police Scanner
  18. Conversation Cough Drops
  19. Fetch Is a Make-Work Job
  20. Disorganized Thoughts on IKEA

January 2018

  1. How Many Norwegian Plumbers Does It Take to Fix an Airplane Toilet?
  2. Nutella Riots
  3. Big Marvel Is a Marvel
  4. He Really Does Love You
  5. Get Rich By Takin’ Bitcoin
  6. Resistance Genealogy
  7. Eff This Ess
  8. It’s Also a Pretty Good Ad for the Little Ripper
  9. And Someone Made Sure to Tell the Press
  10. Helen James Kicks Ass
  11. Credit Card Abstinence Education
  12. Never Apologize for Accidental Amusement
  13. The Hot New Show, “VWTASTB”
  14. Nothing Lasts Forever
  15. Here’s an Exceedingly Dumb Way to Store Books
  16. The Possible Return of the Public Domain
  17. The Day Maryann Accidentally Killed a Boy
  18. There Are Consequences
  19. Won’t Somebody Think of the Children?
  20. One Singular Days
  21. Maybe She Meant That They’re Very Close Friends With Jesus
  22. The Man Just Likes Rams
  23. The Real Friendly Skies

2017 260

December 2017

  1. Additional CVS Signs
  2. Watch for Blue Shells
  3. Spooky Space Stone
  4. Symbolic Wood
  5. Barvd: 2016 in Review
  6. A Bit of RSS Housekeeping
  7. Lying Is Clearly Not a No-Go Zone for Pete Hoekstra
  8. Highly Unnecessary
  9. Explosively Bad Design
  10. Waving to the Enemy
  11. A Near-Perfect Likeness
  12. Individual Finger Control
  13. There’s Very Little Deniability With Initials
  14. Security Robots
  15. Deeply Unsatisfying
  16. The Razor and Blades Model, Applied to Mattresses
  17. Instantaneous, Painless Bludgeoning
  18. The Shed at Dulwich
  19. A Hundred Billion Here, A Hundred Billion There
  20. It’s Difficult to Notarize A Tattooed Signature
  21. Not Bringing Down the House
  22. You Just Bought a Car, Why Not Build a Car?

November 2017

  1. A Genetic Portrait of Manhattan’s Rats
  2. Ready to Go the Limit
  3. Farm to Distant Table
  4. We Know What You’re Up To
  5. My Lone Black Friday Purchase
  6. Where Are the Pictures?
  7. No Cooking Required
  8. How Exactly Do You Check?
  9. Security Through Grooviness
  10. That Ridiculous Mother Can Tell Her Kids It’s a Cowboy Hat
  11. CVS’s Handmade Flu Shot Signs
  12. In Love With an Order Form
  13. O-H-A�-O
  14. Shalane Flanagan Kicks Ass
  15. Self-Driving Shuttle Gets Hit by Human Driver
  16. Recently in Death
  17. At Least There Are No Change Fees to Switch Away From These Flights
  18. Indefinite Detention Is Not Consistent With Our Values
  19. 11 Minutes of Sanity
  20. Sadly for All of Us, There’s No Such Thing as a “Lawyer Dog”
  21. My Watch Reads This Site
  22. My Apple Dumbwatch

October 2017

  1. Won’t Somebody Think of the English Majors?
  2. Coffee Was a Bad Choice
  3. Paging Dr. Dre to the Onstage OR. Dr. Dre, to the Onstage OR.
  4. Thank You, Come Again
  5. Flying Solo
  6. The Colonel’s Secret Is Out
  7. When Did the French Get So Prudish?
  8. A FedEx Story in Two Pictures
  9. Going to the Mattresses
  10. One Postcard Stamp, Please
  11. One Day Only
  12. Million-Dollar Views
  13. Face Puncher 2049
  14. Branded in Memory
  15. Lottery Cheats
  16. Duck, Duck, What?
  17. McShark Is a Weird Name for a Store
  18. They’ve Currently Got a 50% Success Rate
  19. Killer Clown
  20. Pumpkin Spice Everything
  21. Pumpkin Spice Harbor
  22. Costco Kimchi

September 2017

  1. Find Your Niche
  2. The Other Boston Marathon
  3. Just Think of the Energy Spent Lugging That Thing Inside His Body
  4. Feel the Music
  5. Still Not a Bigger Baby Than Trump
  6. Tree Pants
  7. Dr. Mary-Claire King Kicks Ass
  8. The Mad Pooper
  9. Stowaway Koala
  10. Which One Pays Better?
  11. A Lot of Pies
  12. Taking Them to My Grave
  13. Settling With a Monkey
  14. The Bandwidth Defender
  15. A Far Side Comic Come to Life
  16. Punished for the Sins of the Father
  17. Fake Service Dogs Are a Real Problem
  18. A Gigantic Bucket of Horseshit
  19. Undercover as a White Supremacist
  20. Inflate My Chest, Then I’ll Show You the Sights
  21. Floating Islands of Fire Ants

August 2017

  1. Try the Imperial Wizard’s Chicken
  2. Who Enforces This Anyway?
  3. Accidentally Illegal
  4. Is It Possible to Harass a Cartoon Tiger?
  5. So Out of Whack as to Be Shameful
  6. If a Director From the Institute of Peace Wants to Punch You, You Might Be an Asshole
  7. Everyone Knows Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing Ta F’ Wit
  8. Of Course, He’s Blind to Reality Anyway
  9. They Play Football on Sundays Now?
  10. You Might Be Eating the Evidence
  11. Say Goodbye to Your Own Ignorant, Saliva-Splattered Bliss
  12. Confirmation Shaming
  13. Put That Golf Cart in Some Rice
  14. What the Hell Is “Fooseball”?
  15. Friends of the Court
  16. For Want of $14 a Year, the Street Was Lost
  17. Anything’s Possible
  18. That Car Seat Is a Pretty Good Driver
  19. AAnd You Can Keep Waiting
  20. This Week in Trump: Art Imitates Life
  21. Bad Wax
  22. The Quality of Their Work Is Matched Only by the Quality of Their Slogan
  23. Play of the Year

July 2017

  1. Did They Nazi the Problem Here?
  2. Collusion? Collusion?! You’re Not Looking at the Big Picture!
  3. Arrested Development Fans Can Read Them All in Ron Howard’s Voice
  4. I’m Pretty Sure That’s a Chipmunk
  5. Quite a Hack
  6. It’s Practically a Roambee Advertisment
  7. This Week in Trump: July 21st, 2017 Edition
  8. Not Everything Is About Politics
  9. Tune in for the New Every Nite
  10. The Kissing Defense Never Fails
  11. Why Did the Colonel Make a Phone?
  12. You Should Care About Other People
  13. Massive Mammals Where They Don’t Belong
  14. Another Battle for the Net
  15. Umbrella-Sharing Is Probably Not a Viable Business
  16. It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere, But Not Here
  17. Let Us See Each Other Again
  18. An Unholy Combination
  19. Meditating Deeply
  20. Here’s Hoping
  21. Hell of a Card

June 2017

  1. This Week in Trump: June 30th, 2017 Edition
  2. Lettuce Reflect
  3. Laughter Is the Best Medicine
  4. Self-Driving Cars And Traffic Cops
  5. One Good Turn Deserves Ignoring
  6. Be Careful Out There This Summer
  7. CNET, This Is Just Sad
  8. Why Are Killer Whales Robbing Boats?
  9. And When You Gaze Long Into an Abyss, the Abyss Will Present You With Phallic Sea Creatures
  10. Perk of the Job
  11. Maybe Now Startups Will Stop Calling Themselves “The Uber Of…”?
  12. Pairs Well With Smiley Faces
  13. Hassle House
  14. Britney Spears’ Instagram Is Toxic
  15. Oh No, Granny’s Gone Back to Her Old Ways
  16. This Week in Trump: June 9th, 2017 Edition
  17. An Embarrassment to Modernity, Decency, and Common Sense
  18. Putting Profits First
  19. They Didn’t Ask to Be Born, Dads!
  20. “Just Don’t Do It”
  21. This Week in Trump: June 2nd, 2017 Edition
  22. Ya Know What, Maybe Don’t Bring Your Kiddies

May 2017

  1. It Is Hard to Look Right at Him
  2. The Healthiest Individual Ever Elected to the Presidency
  3. Loan Words
  4. Amazing Disgrace
  5. “AnalTech” Is a Really Awful Name for a Company
  6. Sustainable Las Vegas
  7. A Petty and Venal Regime
  8. He Tried to Blend in With the Drapes
  9. Snails Are Weird
  10. Deflating Pikachu
  11. Her Fingers. His Heart.
  12. No Decency, Either
  13. Will They Thank Us for All the Fish?
  14. Flushing a Friend
  15. This Lawsuit Goes To $400 Million
  16. Stubborn Real Estate Holdouts
  17. Behavior-Altering Eyeball Parasites
  18. Here’s Hoping None of You Need to Be Mailed
  19. A New Standard of Care
  20. For Some Definitions of Good
  21. Male Dragonflies Are Gullible
  22. Alienating Their Own

April 2017

  1. Nuclear Deterrence via Mean-Mugging
  2. Today Is Plenty
  3. Hypocrisy Is Not Covered Under Obamacare
  4. Who Was Jock Semple?
  5. 261
  6. Exit Maze
  7. Tennis Interruptus
  8. Locked in a Tower of Her Own Volition
  9. Why in the World Was This Ever Allowed?
  10. Prior Run-In
  11. Takes the Top Prize Any Other Week
  12. Pay More, Get Less
  13. Hear It Our Way
  14. Kentucky Fried Compact Discs
  15. Practice Safe Virtual Sex
  16. They Fooled Me, Jerry!
  17. Forgetful Riders
  18. Only Off by 10,000 Miles
  19. Bad Ads: Clickbait
  20. Refusing, Big League
  21. If You Can’t Trust the Pornographers

March 2017

  1. It’s Really Awful
  2. A Serious Problem
  3. Blues in Japan
  4. Me or Your Lying Eyes
  5. It’s Actually Pretty Impressive
  6. Joe Biden the Politician Meets Joe Biden the Dog
  7. Tractor Hacking
  8. Looking at a Book
  9. They Finally Made a Real Barvd Emoji
  10. World Baseball Classic Eligibility
  11. For Want of a Comma
  12. Let’s Not Go Back
  13. Get Plowed
  14. Ingenuity in Snow Removal
  15. I Can’t Believe It Myself
  16. This, and Only This
  17. A Man of the People
  18. Your Move, TSA
  19. Man, I Hope Trump Makes Him Do It Again
  20. Great Work, Eastern Kentucky
  21. I’m Sorry, but Your Pants Are Too Gray, Son
  22. Perpetual Twilight, Week-Long Years, and More

February 2017

  1. 15 Metal Albums Whose Titles Are Less Dark Than the Washington Post’s New Motto
  2. Eight Days in the Trump White House
  3. Dazzlingly Illegal Things
  4. Either Way, It’s an Empty Suit
  5. Artis-anal Chicken
  6. Be Reasonable, Uncle Sam
  7. What You Need to Know About the Enemies of the American People the President Warned You About
  8. The Wild West Of American Borders
  9. Refugees Fleeing America
  10. Nostalgia Phone
  11. On the Other Hand, His Name Is Unusual
  12. Checking the EMALS
  13. Space Oddity
  14. They’re Bad Prompts, Tom
  15. Trace the Bed to Get a Bed
  16. Death by Tactile Paving
  17. Engaging With Brands: Super Bowl LI Edition
  18. A Weak Laugh for the Weekend
  19. A Piece of Impulse-Buy Garbage Designed for Suckers
  20. Emoji Logos

January 2017

  1. Mesmerizing
  2. A Patchwork Resistance
  3. The Future Is Awfully Dumb Sometimes
  4. It’s a Disaster. It’s an Incredible Mess.
  5. A Style Guide for Covering Donald Trump Fairly
  6. The Shadiest Tweet
  7. An Open Letter From the US Press Corps
  8. Work to Make a Better World
  9. First You Get the Skittles, Then You Get the Power, Then You Get the Women
  10. Regret Is a Start
  11. The Time Is Always Right to Watch Some TV
  12. The Life-Changing Magic of Decluttering in a Post-Apocalyptic World
  13. Turnabout Is Fair Play
  14. Blank Papers and Audience Plants
  15. Ridiculous Products: Kérastase Hair Coach
  16. There’s a Good Way to Blow $50,000
  17. The Pole Dancers Aren’t the Weirdest Part
  18. U.S. Navy Dolphins Acting For a Porpoise
  19. I’m Unclear on How a Metal Detector Helped
  20. I’m Not Saying It’s a Good Excuse
  21. Expensive Plastic Bags
  22. Maybe The Polarity Was Flipped

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